TESTING - CHANNEL - ONE - DEVICE - ONE - THREE - EIGHT - TESTING

WHY THE **** DO THEY HAVE TO TEST THE MOTHER ****ING ALARM SYSTEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ****ING DAY! I AM ABOUT TO ****ING KILL SOMEONE! THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON EVERY 10 SECONDS FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF NOW! AND THERE IS A ****ING STROBE LIGHT FLASHING TOO! I PUT ON MY ****ING HEADPHONES AND I CAN STILL HEAR IT AND SEE THE ****ING STROBE LIGHT! I JUST LOOKED AT IT AND NOW I HAVE A ****ING GREEN SPOT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VISION! AND ALL OF THIS IS LOCATED RIGHT ABOVE MY CUBICLE! MOTHER ****ER! SON OF A ****ING BITCH! FPOMF! I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE, I SWEAR TO GOD! I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING! ****!

 

Take a break. Go to Best Buy or WalMart or something.

 

I don't care when it stops, I'm taking a two hour lunch today.

 

We have those, too. I've got one right over my desk.

When they're working on them, someone comes over the intercom and goes 'please disregard the fire alarms - maintenance will be working on the fire alarms for the next 2 hours - please disregard the fire alarms'.

:kelvin: LIKE I CAN DISREGARD THEM, YOU FECKHOLES!!!!

 

Tell us how you really feel, Norm!

 

OK, so they stopped for two minutes. I took off my headphones. THEN THE ****ING THING STARTED AGAIN! The ****ing alarm gods are really ****ING ME OFF! Now the alarm gods have decided to randomly put one minute pauses between tests. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, YOU STUPID MOTHER ****ERS! I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND KILL YOU!

 

The pause between tracks is ABSOLUTELY the worst invention EVER CREATED! I'd like to RIP THE ALARM GOD'S HEADS OFF AND **** DOWN THEIR NECK HOLE! AHHHHHHHHHHRGGHHHH!!! Oh my, I just can't TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I'd prefer to be subjected to American Idol for 8 hours straight. CAN YOU HEAR ME ALARM GODS???? AMERICAN ****ING IDOL!

 

It's the cleaning lady.

That bitch.

 

Oh god I hate her.

The best thing is 30 minutes after they decided to push me over the edge, I got this email:

No **** sherlock? You'd better watch your ****ing back.

 

Best.

Rant.

Today.

 

Well Norm...maybe your "Administrator of Pain" title is having a role-reversal problem today.

 

I'll bet all of upper management is up in the crow's roost watching to see which employee cracks first. Weeding out the weak ones...seeing who can hack it and who can't....

'...look at Norm...I think he's gonna go...who had Norm?...anyone have Norm to go first?...WAIT!...I think the pauses are getting to him...get on the radio and make the pauses 10 seconds apart...yeah...is he...is he sweating?...are his hands trembling?...WHO HAD NORM, DAMMIT?...'

 

I'll never understand why the facility idiots have to test the alarms during working hours? Maybe it's their way of getting back at all us desk jockeys...

 

OK, they think they can fool me, but I know better now. DO YOU HEAR ME??? I'm about to make use of the restroom facilities. If there is an alarm in there, I may just try and **** on it.

 

Anyone ever wonder what it would look like if Dolemite could type?

 

This system has been in for about 2 or 3 years and they've NEVER done this before. Way back when I was in the basement they would do a fire drill and we wouldn't even hear it. Someone would have to go down and warn us.

 

'...he's going to the men's room...do we have a camera in there?...do we?...he'll snap and we'll miss it...someone get a camera...is he...no way...is he dooking on...omg...WHO THE F*** HAD NORM???...'

 

Did they take your red stapler? Please tell me they didn't come get your red stapler.

 

So in the restroom just the light flashed. I've gone about 5 minutes without hearing the announcement though.

They can't fool me.

 

You were gone for a long time.