Ok so the Mormans just showed up at my door.

Now I preface this by saying that there are some real decent human beings that I am damn proud to know who are Southern Baptist to the core. BUT those OTHER Southern Baptist that I grew up with are the most racist, ignorant bunch of backwater scumbags I have ever had the displeasure to know. And unfortunately, it only took a few bad ones to ruin the whole sect for me.

Don't try to tell me that crystal (as is cut glass) is the devil. You can go sell your crazy to some one else Mr. Preacher man.

I actually left Falls Creek the one and only year I was conned into going down there because I was so damned offended, well that and I didn't want to die of heat stroke. Because you would know that I would go the year that they decided to take the fun out of Falls Creek or at least at the cabin I was at. We had zero free time if we weren't at the tabernacle we were back at the cabin in a class. Even at night we had to go directly back to the cabin for another lesson then had to go to be at 10. It was the worst. EVAR.

 

I should have said that I just watched the Southpark episode.


DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB.

 

They could probably tell that just by looking at you.

 

so the whole polygamy thing, isn't what your looking for at this stage in your life?

What in the name of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young is going on?

 

I aint gonna tell My JW story again , But they dont come back .
I was nice for the 1st few times . then I em .

 

One true church?!?

http://www.exmormon.org/

 

If its hot I always give them a cold beverage. If its cold I make them some hot chocolate. They aren't allowed to come in if you are a woman and you're alone. Its their rule. So if the mister is gone they stand on the porch and I give them their drinks in a to go cup.

 

That's very kind of you, Mom.

It probably makes up for when I turn the hose on them.

"No soliciting means no soliciting-hope your holy underwear is waterproof!"

 

Mom is such a good person . I feel bad about going to the door Neked . then shootin thru the floor a few yrs later :O

 

We had some witnesses stop by the house a couple weeks back. My wife is Jewish and we have a mezuzah on the door jamb. I kindly pointed to it and and in my best Nicholson voice said, "see that? Crazy's already here, go sell it somewhere else!"

 

My Mormon friend said that Utah Mormons have a really hard time here. They can't beleive that people won't believe thier story. They seem to have no sense of...not so much real world, but more of just people who won't listen to the story.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VeFEL5t_pU

i wonder if anyone has actually said this....

 

Tell 'em any Jesus jokes while you were at it?

 

Just askin' nicely, have you ever heard any of that stuff about Joseph Smith? Heh, watch the South Park episode "All About Mormons." They took that straight outta the Book of Mormon. I know, because two of my Mormon raised friends have seent hat episode and were embarassed not because of the satire, but they said it's true. I also actually listened to one of those mormon dudes tell his story and that confirms every word of that crazy story from South Park.

All I'm saying is it's weird, and it sounds like some drunk had a lot of followers.

 

So, I am almost to my driveway, when I see two Mormon missionaries turn into the drive. At that moment, my son opens the gate to feed Ariel, our German Shepherd, who loves to bark at people on bicycles. This was Ariel's big chance to finally catch a person on a bicycle. She didn't eat them, but they made a quick exit and they have not been back since.

I guess Mormons don't like Methodist German Shepherds.

 

I also have a Jehovah Witness story. My wife came into my office crying and I thought one of the kids had been killed. Turns out, it was only the cat. The cat had been sleeping on top of the raised garage door and when she lowered the door, the kitty met his demise.

She returned home, opened the door, and kitty dropped dead on the driveway. Of course, I had to go home and dispose of kitty. I put the cat in a bucket and was carrying it to the backyard for burial, when a girl who was a Jehovah's Witness showed up with her literature. I said, "This is not a good time for me."

Her reply was, "We didn't kill your cat."

I said, "I know." What I later wished I had said was, "That's a lie. You Jehovah's Witnesses are known cat killers! How dare you murder my little kitty." It would have been fun to mess with her and I blew it.

 

Naw, you should have told her it was your daily sacrifice...

 

Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe Jesus Christ was the Messiah? Right? Or something like that so that most churches don't recognize them as a Christian denomination?

 

The guy I share an office with is a Mormon. He's from Cody, Wyoming. His mission sent him to the hood in South Florida. He's got some awesome stories. Great sense of humor too, he didn't even get offended when I suggested they combine Amway sales with their mission, as a back-up plan. I also had a great discussion about the portryal of LDS'ers in Orgazmo the other day.

 

Oh, please don't do that! There are a few Liberal Sooner Mormons in your presence.