Ruh-Roh, Jameel Owens in car with dope smokers...

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Along with others from UT charged. Owens, not charged...

That's Tennesee orange...

[Collier11]

yea, apparently he needs to speak up more if he doesnt want to get himself into trouble down the road!

[sooneron]

Can't the media just call them blunts instead of marijuana cigars?

[Sooner_Bob]

The car was stopped because the tag light on Paige’s car was burned out.

It's nice to see I'm not the only person to ever have been pulled over for something as petty as this.

[Flagstaffsooner]

Four Fulmer Cup points

[sooneron]

Greatness!

http://www.miamihawktalk.com/home/news/story/7032/

2008 Fulmer Cup: The Preseason Rankings

Posted by thechuck_2112 on 12/31 at 01:53 AM

Though a necessary preliminary event, the annual Ohio State beatdown (errr . . BCS National Championship [sic] game), has yet to take place, it's time for the most eagerly awaited college football event of mid-winter, the 2008 Fulmer Cup, sponsored by the unsurpassed brilliance of EveryDayShouldBeSaturday. At the risk of stealing Orson's thunder (or because we would like to protect his neutrality as official Fulmer Cup scorer), let's run down the upcoming Fulmer Cup season.

In last season's action, the University of Illinois got better and better—just as [NAME REDACTED] predicted—in piling up a Big Ten-record 24 Fulmer Cup points and proving that the thick-legged Northerners could outrun the SEC to glory in at least one arena. (Or, perhaps, that SEC speed advantage also works in outrunning the cops.) Although, like most aspects of modern-day college football, the Fulmer Cup favors the rich, we also should note impressive performances at the I-AA level, particularly from Montana State. ("Bozeman, motherf*****s!")

Without further ado, we offer our pre-season predictions (last season's point totals in parentheses):

1. Arizona State—Dennis Erickson has a track record for turning around programs faster than expected, both on and off the field. Now he's coaching at a school known for underachieving football and coeds who become porn stars, and he's had a year to bring in his own recruits. Nobody who has admired his work at Miami, Oregon State, or Idaho should be surprised if the Sun Devils put up a thirty-point Fulmer effort this year.

2. Arkansas (9)—Imagine a relatively sleepy Southern backwater with few legal amusements and the arrival a soul-less coach who sets exactly no moral example for his players. We could be talking about Tuscaloosa last winter, but we're looking at Fayetteville. At least the list of doodie that Nick Saban doesn't have time for appears to include law-breaking; we're not sure Bobby Petrino stays focused on one place long enough to learn his players' names, much less their rap sheets.

3. Illinois (24)—The 2007 Fulmer Cup Champion returns a large number of starters on both sides of the ball, and [NAME REDACTED's] penchant for off-season water sports and mixed martial arts traditionally spells a lack of oversight. Combine that with a completely unearned Rose Bowl visit and its accompanying spoils (i.e., players are going to think they're bulletproof) in a soul-numbingly boring college town surrounded by cornfields and a long history of off-the-field issues, and you've got a solid Top Five pick. While we have them a few spots lower than their finish last season, don't be surprised to see a repeat champion in 2008, especially if Arizona State gets off to a slow start.

Between a sloshed point guard steering his car into a tree and then leaving his teammate for dead, and a starter on the Final Four squad getting collared for burglary, Illinois has always been known as more of a basketball school. But just ask JoePa—this school is rapidly ascending on the football side.

4. Cincinnati— Bob Chuggy Bear is gone, and the legendary days of Art Long are receding into the mist. Meanwhile, UC is trying to buy its way into college football's big leagues by shoveling money at a coach who saw a murder occur on his watch at his last job. This sounds like a perfect recipe for the Cincinnati police department to start spending less time hanging around the basketball program and more time at Nippert Stadium. We like the Bearcats to make a strong move up the Fulmer standings this season.

5. UCLA—Some would argue the Bruins are a risky pick here, especially with a new coach coming in, presumably to instill discipline. We say the traditional turmoil of a new administration, in tandem with the normal temptations afforded to buff, young athletes in Los Angeles, will prove to make the squad from Westwood a contender faster than you can say "coke orgy with aspiring models." A darkhorse selection, to be sure, but a logical one, sayeth we. (EDIT: The news of Rick Neuheisel's hire came after the votes were in. We here at MHT believe that an earlier announcement of the hiring would have bumped the Bruins up two or three spots.)


6. West Virginia (7)—College athletes. In a town where ordinary students burn couches for entertainment. Unsupervised. What could possibly go wrong? While there is a lot of doom and gloom in Morgantown with the departure of Coach Rich Rodriguez, the mere mention of a Bowden as front-runner to be his replacement boosts their ranking here. If the team can buckle down and get a repeat of the burglary from the football season, they could become real contenders. One to watch: Noel Devine. Reported to be a full-time project for Coach Rodriguez, he could become something special in Fulmer Cup standings without anyone watching over him for a few weeks.

7. Wisconsin (7)—Like the on-field Badgers, Wisconsin's off-field shenanigans quietly put them on the edge of the Fulmer Cup top ten every year. Besides, we're going to put the Badgers in our top ten until the Chad Alvarez microwaved parrot story stops being funny. In other words, when hell freezes over.

8. Houston—The Cougars aren't exactly known for their criminal ways, but a perfect storm is brewing in the Bayou City. Houston has some history of on-field misbehavior--for example, their knock-down drag-out with June Jones's Hawaii squad at the end of the 2003 Hawaii Bowl--but those incidents were warning signs. The city of Houston is home to two of our favorite phenomena: purple drank and the Geto Boys. With the importation of new coach Kevin Sumlin from Oklahoma, home of the Barry Switzer School of (In)discipline, all the ingredients are in place for a midget to get shot in the face. (Whoops! Sorry about that--our unsated fascination with Bushwick Bill got in the way. What we meant to say is that all the ingredients are in place for all kinds of Fulmer Cup-worthy stuff to go down.) Damn, it feels good to be a Cougar.

9. Texas A&M—While some would say the hiring of Mike Sherman was an uninspired and even panicked choice, we couldn't disagree more. Who better than a former NFL coach who couldn't keep his players in line in the dreary icebox known as Green Bay to lead the most traditional of football factories? With fanatical boosters who imagine the program among the nation's elite and will do damn near anything—including grabbing their own junk during the game—to get it there, the Aggies are a safe bet to be involved in some Shiner-fueled shenanigans this off-season.

10. Florida State -- While the Seminoles appear to have lost it both on and off the field in Bobby Bowden's dotage, we were encouraged that the recent cheating scandal may presage a return to the Seminole way. Keep an eye on the security cameras at Dillard's and the intake reports at the Leon County jail; we refuse to believe this traditional Fulmer Cup power is done.

Other top 20 finishers from 2007: Penn State - 19, Florida - 17, Idaho - 17, Michigan - 15, Texas - 13, UTEP - 13, Nebraska - 11, Georgia - 10, LSU - 10, Iowa - 9, Duke - 8, Ohio - 8, Toledo - 8, Tennessee - 7, Cal - 6, Purdue - 6, USF - 6

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Originally Posted by Sooner_Bob

It's nice to see I'm not the only person to ever have been pulled over for something as petty as this.

Probable Cause Baby!

[zeke]

Originally Posted by TheHumanAlphabet

Along with others from UT charged. Owens, not charged...

That's Tennesee orange...

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Great stuff...

I hadn't heard of the parrot story. Pretty funny in a pet is dead sort of way...

[tulsaoilerfan]

Originally Posted by TheHumanAlphabet

Probable Cause Baby!

Racial profiling baby!!

[TheHumanAlphabet]

How is a light out on a car racial profiling? If anything it is poor maintenance profiling and possibly poor credit report filing. Which, by the insurance industry numbers indicates the likelihood to have fraudulent insurance claims and therefore criminal activity...

[Collier11]

Originally Posted by tulsaoilerfan

Racial profiling baby!!

Oh Lord, here we go! Replace the Racial with Idiot and you have it correct!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I was pulled over on the turnpike for not using my signal to pass a car...Sure that's why you pulled me over

[CORNholio]

Originally Posted by Sooner_Bob

It's nice to see I'm not the only person to ever have been pulled over for something as petty as this.

That's a HiPo's excuse number one for pulling over a beat up old car to search for drugs.

[achiro]

Every time I've ever been pulled over was because I am white!

[CORNholio]

Originally Posted by tulsaoilerfan

Racial profiling baby!!

It's not racial profiling it is "estimated wealth profiling". There seems to be the idea in the justice system that lack of wealth and crime are directly linked. Go trade in your SUV for one of those cars from pimp my ride before they got pimped and watch the number of times you have said "yes you can search it" triple by lunch time.

[Collier11]

Originally Posted by CORNholio

It's not racial profiling it is "estimated wealth profiling". There seems to be the idea in the justice system that lack of wealth and crime are directly linked. Go trade in your SUV for one of those cars from pimp my ride before they got pimped and watch the number of times you have said "yes you can search it" triple by lunch time.

they are related!

[CORNholio]

Originally Posted by Collier11

they are related!

That is a pretty broad statement. Growing up I never drove a car that was worth more than 1500 dollars--probably had my car searched 10 times. Twice in the same night. As the cars got better the random bogus traffic stops disappeared.

[Collier11]

Originally Posted by CORNholio

That is a pretty broad statement. Growing up I never drove a car that was worth more than 1500 dollars--probably had my car searched 10 times. Twice in the same night. As the cars got better the random bogus traffic stops disappeared.

I was agreeing with you...the little confused guy was sarcasm!

[goingoneight]

I guess we know where Owens is going to school now.