OU = Tiger Woods
Funny article regarding a college program celebrity equivalent. I was looking for the poked and did not find their equivalent. I would say the cupcakes (OSU) would be ELLEN DEGENERES.
Question: What's the difference between how we rank college football teams and how the general public picks its favorite celebrities?
Answer: Not much.
It never ceases to amaze me how much credence we put in college football's weekly polls. We take the whole system so seriously, as if the heavens hand-delivered the top 25 on a stone tablet, or an Einsteinian formula figured out the whole thing on a supercomputer.
In reality, the process of ranking teams is so similar to how we pick our favorite stars that it hurts. All the same criteria apply -- looks, personality, talent, and body of work -- and all the same biases come into play. For example, why do some women prefer George Clooney over Brad Pitt? Why do some men prefer Angelina Jolie over Jennifer Aniston? And how the hell does Jimmy Fallon keep getting movie deals? It's subjectivity at its finest.
So I'm proposing we ditch the digits and bridge the gap between our favorite sport and our favorite icons. Instead of assigning rankings, let's assign names. It'll be much easier on everyone involved, and we might even realize how unscientific college football's scientific method actually is...
The Paris Hilton: Teams with plenty of glitz and glamour but extremely shaky talent
Notre Dame
The Shia LaBeoufs: Teams on the upswing despite no recognizable faces
Rutgers, South Florida, Troy
The Tom Cruises: Teams that have the talent but seem destined to sprout multiple, potentially crazy personalities
Penn State, UCLA, Clemson
The Tiger Woodses: Teams that have become mortal locks to win every week
USC, LSU, Florida, Oklahoma
The Renée Zellwegers: Teams only look good in the right situations
Wisconsin, Ohio State, Virginia Tech, Nebraska
The Jim Carreys: One-dimensional teams that refuse to admit they are one-dimensional
Hawaii, Missouri, Louisville, Oregon
The Ruben Studdards: Teams that seem most likely to pull a disappearing act
South Carolina, Texas A&M, Boston College, Florida State
The Rodney Dangerfields: Teams that will bark about not getting the respect they deserve
Georgia, Texas
The Natalie Portmans: Underrated teams with real talent, impressive bodies of work, and stability
West Virginia, Cal
