Friends, OrangeBloods, Texas folk, raise up your beers;
I come to bury OU, not to praise them.
The evil that Okies do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with OU. The haughty Okies
Hath told you OU is greatness:
This is not so, it is a grievous sham,
And next Saturday, OU will be laid to rest,
Here, under shadows of Dallas and the rest--
For Okies are not honourable men;
But the Longhorns, the noblest of men--
Come I to speak at OU's funeral.
Sooner is not a friend, not to me:
But Sooner sayeth he is ambitious;
And that Sooner is an honourable team.
He hath brought many losees home from Dallas
Whose losses did the fans of OU despise:
Did this in OU seem ambitious?
When that the drunk hath cried, OU hath wept:
Ambition should be made of Texas Pride:
Yet Sooner says he is ambitious;
But Okies are not honourable men.
You all have seen that at the Cotton Bowl
We presented them with many a beating,
Which OU does venhemently deny: is this honour?
Yet OU says to be ambitious;
And, again, they are not honourable men.
I speak not to disprove what Sooner claims,
But here I am to speak what I do know: 55-37-5.
You all do love our Great State, with plenty cause:
What cause withholds you then, to smite the crimson and cream Okies?
O judgment! thou art fled to too many beers,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
OU will lay in the coffin with their 3.2 beer,
And I must pause till rational thoughts come back to me.
But yesterday the word of Mack Brown might
Have stood against the world; now he prepares to smite the Sooners.
And none so deserving more of this fate than Sooner.
O Texans, if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
We would do Texas justice, as we chant "Poooooor OU",
Who, you all know, are not honorable men:
I will do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the Okies, to wrong 3.2 beer and Stoops,
One should receive the blessing of all that is good.
But here's a parchment with the seal of the ancient greats;
I found it in their closet, 'tis their will:
Let but the Texans hear this testament--
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read--
And they would go and cause Okies wounds
And dip their beers in their tainted crimson,
Yea, snatch a chinstrap of Sooner for memory,
And, dying, mention it within their wills,
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy
Unto their issue.
Originally Posted by Ike
(Just in case i forgot to put one in my post)
"The word 'felony' doesn't scare me." - Eddie Sutton, The Sunday Oklahoman, May 9, 2004.
