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  1. 1/31/2007, 02:28 PM #1
    usmc-sooner
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    Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
    by Bill Clinton.

    One smart-*** student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

    Titanic: $29.99
    Clinton: $29.99

    Titanic: Over three hours to read
    Clinton: Over three hours to read

    Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
    subsequent catastrophe.
    Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

    Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
    Clinto n: Bill is a bull**** artist.

    Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
    Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

    Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
    Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

    Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
    Clinton: Let's not go there.

    Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
    Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

    Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
    Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember jack.

    Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    Clinton: Monica... ooh, let's not go there either.

    Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
    Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing.
  2. 1/31/2007, 02:37 PM #2
    OhU1
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by usmc-sooner
    One smart-*** student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:
    This sounds like the yarn about the Philosophy test where the only question was 'Why?" and the smart-guy writes "Why not?" and gets an A+.
    "Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.."
    Penn Jillette
  3. 1/31/2007, 03:03 PM #3
    FaninAma
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    Clinton: Monica... ooh, let's not go there either.
    Reminds me of the book Harry Pooper and the Goblet of Goo. It topped all of the best seller lists in Austin.
    Beware the man who would rule you for your own good. He will never cease. He will regulate every aspect of your life, destroy your liberty and enslave you, and sleep well convinced that he has made the world a better place.
  4. 1/31/2007, 03:47 PM #4
    Viking Kitten
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by usmc-sooner
    Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    Clinton: Monica... ooh, let's not go there either.
    That one made me laugh. I probably would have laughed harder in 1998, but I laughed nonetheless. And hey, I'm sure we could find some funny Harry Truman jokes 'round the Web if we looked hard enough.
  5. 1/31/2007, 04:01 PM #5
    jacru
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Bill Clinton has his legacy whether he likes it or not.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I'm achieving "old fart" status. I'm not quite old enough yet, but I got the fart part nailed.
  6. 1/31/2007, 07:58 PM #6
    picasso
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by jacru
    Bill Clinton has his hootchie mammas whether you like it or not.
    so true. and I cannot blame ole Bubba.
  7. 1/31/2007, 08:36 PM #7
    Collier11
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by picasso
    so true. and I cannot blame ole Bubba.


    Have you seen Monica?
    Ranger Reese of OVJ country, Patrollin tha hood.

    I Survived Drunkytown with OleVet and all I got was this rash!

    With a record of 109-23 (.826) and six Big 12 championships in 10 seasons, Stoops has reason to be arrogant. But he is not. He is somewhere between humble and unimpressed.
    ~ Ivan Maisel



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  8. 1/31/2007, 10:26 PM #8
    picasso
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by Collier11
    Have you seen Monica?
    yeah and I'd hit her closer to one beer as opposed to Hillary which would take me just past 23 pints and her knocking on my bedroom window.
  9. 1/31/2007, 10:32 PM #9
    Collier11
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    quick, janet reno or hillary...go!
    Ranger Reese of OVJ country, Patrollin tha hood.

    I Survived Drunkytown with OleVet and all I got was this rash!

    With a record of 109-23 (.826) and six Big 12 championships in 10 seasons, Stoops has reason to be arrogant. But he is not. He is somewhere between humble and unimpressed.
    ~ Ivan Maisel



    http://sportslife11.blogspot.com/
  10. 1/31/2007, 10:42 PM #10
    OUinFLA
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Im gonna be ill.
    An Education is what you get when you Read the Instructions,
    Experience is what you get if you don't...
  11. 2/1/2007, 06:55 AM #11
    Sooner in Tampa
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by Collier11
    quick, janet reno or hillary...go!
    celibacy


    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Beanbag View Post
    Six stitches is a pretty decent sized gash.
    Quote Originally Posted by OUthunder View Post
    To hell with Nebraska...they are overrated and irrelevant.
  12. 2/1/2007, 07:31 AM #12
    SoonerTerry
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Quote Originally Posted by Collier11
    quick, janet reno or hillary...go!
    I'll take quick
    I fly fake airplanes
  13. 2/1/2007, 11:42 AM #13
    Collier11
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    Re: Bill Clinton and the Titanic

    Hey Terry, is that the Uncle from Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire in your avatar?
    Ranger Reese of OVJ country, Patrollin tha hood.

    I Survived Drunkytown with OleVet and all I got was this rash!

    With a record of 109-23 (.826) and six Big 12 championships in 10 seasons, Stoops has reason to be arrogant. But he is not. He is somewhere between humble and unimpressed.
    ~ Ivan Maisel



    http://sportslife11.blogspot.com/
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