What an interesting day...

[Mongo]

Before I begin, todays events were started off yesterday by an innocent lunch break at a hamburger/BBQ joint in Shawnee, OK. I indulged in a hamburger with fries and a DP to drink. It was a tastey burger, yet on the ultra greasy side. I consumed the burger and part of the fries before I had to be out at my rig.

Now lets fast forward to 11 PM on the 11th. My lower GI tract is rumbling. Nothing to it I thought, I was anticipating a hilarious and nasty session of gas. It was true; hot, sulfuric gas poured out my *** every five minutes. I was making myself laugh, and wishing I had a poor SOB to share this experience with me. I hit the hay in my trailor around 1 AM the 12th.

I continue to ruffle the sheets with my gas. It was still funny, but the novelty had kinda wore off and I needed to quit waking myself up with these
farts.

At around 4 AM this morning, I woke myself up with a fart again. Then I had to ask myself, "Do farts have lumps?" I pat my *** and to my amazement, I ****ted the bed. I proceed to shower up and mop out my crack of any remaining poo matter.

I had to yank the sheets off the bed and flip the mattress and to continue my rest, and remember, I am now going commando. The rest of the day went fine until tonight.

Fast forwardto 9:30 PM tonight. I had to run to a different location to steal a part from another one of our trailors. It was only three miles away and it was a simple task. I show up at the vacant location and the trailor was not there. I quickly threw the wheel to make a 180 turn. The front end of my truck bottoms out into a muddy part.

I am stuck. No way I am budging my truck out of this jam. I reach for my cell phone to call my buddy the tool pusher to bail me out.

I had left my ****ing phone in my trailor that was three miles away.

My fat *** had to walk all the way back in twenty degree weather, while it was raining that freezing ****, ALL WITH NO ****ING UNDERWEAR ON.

I now have a nice fabric burn on my scrote from the rough inseam of my overalls. My testicles should be fine though, They went into hibernating after an quarter mile into my journey. I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.

[picasso]

the irony is you coulda used those sulphur bombs when you were facing the blue norther.

[1stTimeCaller]

I honestly have nothing to say right now. wait a minute, yes I do. I now know why they call you guys mud loggers.

[Mongo]

The sad thing, is I wasted a perfectly good "Hot Carl" that you ordered from me the other day.

[olevetonahill]

And you blamed it on DJ that time

[SoonerTerry]

What we have here is a case of mud butt...

[tbl]

Dude.... that cracked me up. I was wondering why there were 5 stars declared on this one and only a couple of replies. Fantastic!

[Mixer!]

...and on a related note, Master Poo's Tae Kwon Do classes are cancelled this weekend.

[soonerboomer93]

I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.

you got sic'em beat on that by years though

[soonerboomer93]

Oh, and nothing makes my day like a good "I **** myself" story

[yermom]

Oh, and nothing makes my day like a good "I **** myself" story

this has been a good week for you, huh?

[Czar Soonerov]

...and on a related note, Master Poo's Tae Kwon Do classes are cancelled this weekend.

I got my black belt there.

Before I begin, todays events were started off yesterday by an innocent lunch break at a hamburger/BBQ joint in Shawnee, OK. I indulged in a hamburger with fries and a DP to drink. It was a tastey burger, yet on the ultra greasy side. I consumed the burger and part of the fries before I had to be out at my rig.

Now lets fast forward to 11 PM on the 11th. My lower GI tract is rumbling. Nothing to it I thought, I was anticipating a hilarious and nasty session of gas. It was true; hot, sulfuric gas poured out my *** every five minutes. I was making myself laugh, and wishing I had a poor SOB to share this experience with me. I hit the hay in my trailor around 1 AM the 12th.

I continue to ruffle the sheets with my gas. It was still funny, but the novelty had kinda wore off and I needed to quit waking myself up with these
farts.

At around 4 AM this morning, I woke myself up with a fart again. Then I had to ask myself, "Do farts have lumps?" I pat my *** and to my amazement, I ****ted the bed. I proceed to shower up and mop out my crack of any remaining poo matter.

I had to yank the sheets off the bed and flip the mattress and to continue my rest, and remember, I am now going commando. The rest of the day went fine until tonight.

Fast forwardto 9:30 PM tonight. I had to run to a different location to steal a part from another one of our trailors. It was only three miles away and it was a simple task. I show up at the vacant location and the trailor was not there. I quickly threw the wheel to make a 180 turn. The front end of my truck bottoms out into a muddy part.

I am stuck. No way I am budging my truck out of this jam. I reach for my cell phone to call my buddy the tool pusher to bail me out.

I had left my ****ing phone in my trailor that was three miles away.

My fat *** had to walk all the way back in twenty degree weather, while it was raining that freezing ****, ALL WITH NO ****ING UNDERWEAR ON.

I now have a nice fabric burn on my scrote from the rough inseam of my overalls. My testicles should be fine though, They went into hibernating after an quarter mile into my journey. I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.

This story rivals the Ryans steakhouse story.

[Mjcpr]

Is there anybody that keeps weirder hours than Czar?

[Harry Beanbag]

This story rivals the Ryans steakhouse story.

It definitely has the potential, needs more detail though.

[crawfish]

Good point. PG needs to do a "writer's embellishment"...

[Mjcpr]

It was a black and tarry night.....

[yermom]

Is there anybody that keeps weirder hours than Czar?

i could probably challenge him for that one

[Mongo]

It definitely has the potential, needs more detail though.

I thought I did a great job of giving details. Ask and I shall give more

[ChickSoonerFan]

You know, I think the title of this thread is way misleading.

I don't find this interesting at all.

It's just plain NASTY!

Well told story? Yes.

Interesting? Not so much.

But thanks for sharing..I am sure someone found it interesting..

buncha sickos.

[Oldnslo]

yeah, count on a chick to not find the humor in a "I **** myself" story.