You are NOT cool

[C&CDean]

A couple of my most irritating pet peeves happened simultaneously at lunch today. If you are one of these people, I promise you, you are NOT cool.

1. The little phone thingy hanging off the ear. You are so pathetically stupid looking - especially when you're walking around the airport talking to yourself - that you deserve an immediate round-house kick to your solar plexus. If you are one of these dipwads who wears that faggy thing hanging off the side of your head, take it off. Now. You look stupid, and you annoy the hell out of me.

2. White people eating with chopsticks. Look, we advanced way beyond eating with sticks sometime around the birth of Jesus. You are not hip, cool, or anything else but ridiculous looking when you try and eat your rice with sticks. If you're Asian, you have an excuse. If you're anglo, you don't.

3. Men who cross their legs like chicks. I'm sorry, but the boys protesteth when I've tried that whole chick leg crossing thing. If you're a guy, and you cross your legs at the knee, knock it the hell off. You make me wonder if you've got nuts.

Today at Padthai this dude with the gelled up hair, too tight "euro" pants and shirt with the tail hanging out, those fag little square glasses, square tipped fag shoes, etc. is eating his fried rice with sticks - while talking on his little houndstooth (or whatever the **** they call those stupid things) phone hanging off his ear - with his legs chicked-crossed.

Talking very loudly and posing/posturing like everybody in the place was supposed to be admiring him because of his excessive coolness.

I go to my wife "look at the fag on the fairy phone." He looks over at me and gives a little sneer - so I go "I guess he doesn't realize that little thing is a phone - so he doesn't have to yell loud enough for the guy on the other line to hear him even without a phone." So he uncrosses his legs, then crosses them with the other leg on top (seriously, how in the hell can a guy do that without ruining his rollies?), and turns his back and starts whispering.

So, if you do all three of these things, especially simultaneously, you are geek.

[Frozen Sooner]

I agree with you on one and three. In fact, bluetooth headsets are christened ****** flags in my household.

I grew up with several asian friends and I'm pretty much as comfortable with chopsticks as I am western silverware. When I'm at a place that has both, I generally use the chopsticks if that's what's left out and I'd have to ask for western stuff. Not really an effort to be "cool", just an effort to shovel raw fish in my mouth faster.

[sooneron]

The bluetooth things should only be used whilst driving, NOT while shopping or hanging out in public.

[sooneron]

Yes, chopsticks almost seem necessary when eating bait.

[C&CDean]

I agree with you on one and three. In fact, bluetooth headsets are christened ****** flags in my household.

I grew up with several asian friends and I'm pretty much as comfortable with chopsticks as I am western silverware. When I'm at a place that has both, I generally use the chopsticks if that's what's left out and I'd have to ask for western stuff. Not really an effort to be "cool", just an effort to shovel raw fish in my mouth faster.

Dude, you cannot eat anything faster with sticks than I can with a fork or my fingers. I can use the sticks too, but I burn more calories than I'm intaking. Why in the hell do you think asians are so thin? That's right, they burn their calories using those ****ing sticks.

[sooneron]

Why in the hell do you think asians are so thin? That's right, they burn their calories using those ****ing sticks.

Maybe they're on to something.

[colleyvillesooner]

Like the Seinfeld bit:

I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people. They're hanging in there with the chopsticks,aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks. I don't know how they missed it. Chinese farmer gets up, works in the field with a shovel all day. Shovel. Spoon. Come on. You're not plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues!

[Frozen Sooner]

Dude, you cannot eat anything faster with sticks than I can with a fork or my fingers. I can use the sticks too, but I burn more calories than I'm intaking. Why in the hell do you think asians are so thin? That's right, they burn their calories using those ****ing sticks.

I ain't so much into eating with my fingers unless it's a true finger food. Something about getting hit with a wooden spoon a lot when I was younger.

[tbl]

A couple of my most irritating pet peeves happened simultaneously at lunch today. If you are one of these people, I promise you, you are NOT cool.

1. The little phone thingy hanging off the ear. You are so pathetically stupid looking - especially when you're walking around the airport talking to yourself - that you deserve an immediate round-house kick to your solar plexus. If you are one of these dipwads who wears that faggy thing hanging off the side of your head, take it off. Now. You look stupid, and you annoy the hell out of me.

2. White people eating with chopsticks. Look, we advanced way beyond eating with sticks sometime around the birth of Jesus. You are not hip, cool, or anything else but ridiculous looking when you try and eat your rice with sticks. If you're Asian, you have an excuse. If you're anglo, you don't.

3. Men who cross their legs like chicks. I'm sorry, but the boys protesteth when I've tried that whole chick leg crossing thing. If you're a guy, and you cross your legs at the knee, knock it the hell off. You make me wonder if you've got nuts.

Today at Padthai this dude with the gelled up hair, too tight "euro" pants and shirt with the tail hanging out, those fag little square glasses, square tipped fag shoes, etc. is eating his fried rice with sticks - while talking on his little houndstooth (or whatever the **** they call those stupid things) phone hanging off his ear - with his legs chicked-crossed.

Talking very loudly and posing/posturing like everybody in the place was supposed to be admiring him because of his excessive coolness.

I go to my wife "look at the fag on the fairy phone." He looks over at me and gives a little sneer - so I go "I guess he doesn't realize that little thing is a phone - so he doesn't have to yell loud enough for the guy on the other line to hear him even without a phone." So he uncrosses his legs, then crosses them with the other leg on top (seriously, how in the hell can a guy do that without ruining his rollies?), and turns his back and starts whispering.

So, if you do all three of these things, especially simultaneously, you are geek.

If I'm driving or going through the airport with both arms occupied, the headset is being used. If you're a person that is required by their job to constantly be available on the cell, it's not that "gay" or "stupid". In a restaurant or other area, I can understand the frustration by onlookers (fortunately I don't do this). However, I think most people do tend to raise their voices while on the cell phone. It's not a conscious thing, but just something that people do to try to counter the cell phone noise.

I'm with Mike on the chopsticks. I use them any time they're available in a Chinese restaurant, especially sushi. I use them at my house when I'm by myself b/c I really think eating certain foods is better with chopsticks.

I sit with my legs crossed... I always have. It's comfortable. My package hangs below the fold created by my two thighs, so there is no crushing going on (seriously). John Wayne sat with his legs crossed the same way, as do many manly men. My Grandpa is the toughest, hard workingest guy from America's greatest generation, and he sits like that. The leg crossing stigma is retarded. The only guys that can't sit like that are fat guys or dudes with big legs... it has nothing to do with sexuality or package size. Ask my wife...

As far as the fashion stuff, I do agree with you on that, especially the back untucked deal.

[tbl]

Dude, you cannot eat anything faster with sticks than I can with a fork or my fingers. I can use the sticks too, but I burn more calories than I'm intaking. Why in the hell do you think asians are so thin? That's right, they burn their calories using those ****ing sticks.

Since when is eating faster better? BTW, I can probably eat just as fast as you can with a fork. Also, eating most Sushi is almost impossible with a fork (without mangling it).

[picasso]

I had a friend in college who sat like that I never could figure out how it was physically possible.

chopsticks? I tried a few times but can't do it, I have the end of a finger missing and it won't worketh.
btw - Tony Soprano eats his sushi with his fingers.

[Soonerus]

I use a Bluetooth device but exclusively while driving, I agree in public it is pathetic. I use chopsticks at Thai, Chinese or Sushi places, I am not that good but once I had dinner at a Thai place with a Japenese client and decided I better, at least learn to fake it well....I actually kind of enjoy it now. Men crossing their legs, not cool...period...

[Partial Qualifier]

1. The little phone thingy hanging off the ear. You are so pathetically stupid looking - especially when you're walking around the airport talking to yourself - that you deserve an immediate round-house kick to your solar plexus. If you are one of these dipwads who wears that faggy thing hanging off the side of your head, take it off. Now. You look stupid, and you annoy the hell out of me.

Bravo! Fully agree. About the solar plexus deal. Seriously, it's annoying when you're wealking beside someone and they're all "HEY - How's it goin'??" and you look over, they're looking right at you, then you see the thing in their ear... i think some people use these simply for attention.

[picasso]

sure everyone is happy to know that Dean still likes foreign movies.

[Czar Soonerov]

So he uncrosses his legs, then crosses them with the other leg on top (seriously, how in the hell can a guy do that without ruining his rollies?)....

[Sharon Stone]What are you gonna do? Arrest him for bluetoothing?[/Sharon Stone]

[C&CDean]

If I'm driving or going through the airport with both arms occupied, the headset is being used. If you're a person that is required by their job to constantly be available on the cell, it's not that "gay" or "stupid". In a restaurant or other area, I can understand the frustration by onlookers (fortunately I don't do this). However, I think most people do tend to raise their voices while on the cell phone. It's not a conscious thing, but just something that people do to try to counter the cell phone noise.

I'm with Mike on the chopsticks. I use them any time they're available in a Chinese restaurant, especially sushi. I use them at my house when I'm by myself b/c I really think eating certain foods is better with chopsticks.

I sit with my legs crossed... I always have. It's comfortable. My package hangs below the fold created by my two thighs, so there is no crushing going on (seriously). John Wayne sat with his legs crossed the same way, as do many manly men. My Grandpa is the toughest, hard workingest guy from America's greatest generation, and he sits like that. The leg crossing stigma is retarded. The only guys that can't sit like that are fat guys or dudes with big legs... it has nothing to do with sexuality or package size. Ask my wife...

As far as the fashion stuff, I do agree with you on that, especially the back untucked deal.

So, what you're saying is that you're a flamer's flamer huh? NTTAWWT.

1. Even owning one of those headsets is like owning a gay porno movie.

2. Why is it only the yuppy-looking geeks are the ones who think the sticks are cool?

3. My dad crosses his legs like a chick. And at 80, he'd still give me a run for my money. But it's still gay. And it ****ing hurts.

[Czar Soonerov]

If I'm driving or going through the airport with both arms occupied, the headset is being used. If you're a person that is required by their job to constantly be available on the cell, it's not that "gay" or "stupid". In a restaurant or other area, I can understand the frustration by onlookers (fortunately I don't do this). However, I think most people do tend to raise their voices while on the cell phone. It's not a conscious thing, but just something that people do to try to counter the cell phone noise.

I'm with Mike on the chopsticks. I use them any time they're available in a Chinese restaurant, especially sushi. I use them at my house when I'm by myself b/c I really think eating certain foods is better with chopsticks.

I sit with my legs crossed... I always have. It's comfortable. My package hangs below the fold created by my two thighs, so there is no crushing going on (seriously). John Wayne sat with his legs crossed the same way, as do many manly men. My Grandpa is the toughest, hard workingest guy from America's greatest generation, and he sits like that. The leg crossing stigma is retarded. The only guys that can't sit like that are fat guys or dudes with big legs... it has nothing to do with sexuality or package size. Ask my wife...

As far as the fashion stuff, I do agree with you on that, especially the back untucked deal.

Ghey.

[NormanPride]

I use chopsticks when it would be rude not to and when I would have to ask for western silverware otherwise. But not to eat fried rice.. that's just stupid.

[Clever Trevor]

[tbl]

I don't own a bluetooth... I'm old school with the wire hanging, so I'm not cool in anybodies book. Again, the only time the headset exits the car is if I know I'm going to be carrying luggage, briefcase, etc. Other than that, I tend to agree (though I don't really care if people want to use them).

Chicks don't think chopsticks are cool. I think it's probably uncool to use them, but I like to so I don't care what others think.

I think the leg crossing problem comes down to over sized balls and an undersized penis. It's common, so don't think you're alone.