Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Ripley, West
Virginia ~~ After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar
so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat
there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and
drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine, dry summer night) -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple
of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the
vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still
for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and
started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having
patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on
the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a
breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man
having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have
to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer
equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Hillbilly . "Tonight I'm the
designated decoy."
