My *** story.....

[Stanley1]

And for all you haters that didn't think I'd post this tonight, BOO ON YOU!!!!!

Okay, so for the past month or so my stomach has been hurting. Alot. And for the record, I'm not preggers, never thought I was preggers, and can't get preggers. So, being a typical male, I'm not big on going to a doctor unless I just have to. I've think I've been to the family doctor in Dallas 3 times (twice for allergies) before today. But the stomach kept hurting, so I made the appointment.

I show up, and get called back. Every other time I've been here, the main Dr.'s assistant pretty much ran the show, and the Dr. would show up, sign the papers, and leave. Well.....this time the Dr., who has to be pushing 70, saw me. Alone.

He comes in and asks me what is wrong. I tell him I need my allergy medicines refilled, and told him about my stomach. First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me. I nearly killed him, but spared his life instead. Second thing he does is write out my two prescriptions for my allergies. Then he tells me to "strip down to my shorts".

Now. Maybe I'm naive, or whatever, but I don't particularly like having a 70 year old man say those words to me. It frightens me. But I did it. So I'm sitting there in my boxers, and he comes in. Tells me to lay down, and starts pulling my boxers down a little. I'm thinking, "this is really weird". So he pats and pushes on my stomach for a little bit, then tells me to stand up and drop my shorts. I know whats comin' at this point, I played sports growing up, I've had my scrot felt on before, no biggie. I will say that his exam seemed to last a little longer than I remember them usually taking though.

So there I am, standing in front of this guy, drawers on the ground, and he says this to me: "Okay, lay down on your back, you ready for this? One of the marvals of male medicine"

I immediately know what he is thinking, and I say, "Is this what I think it is, cause if so, I'm not so sure I want that happening today". He then explains that stomach pain can be any number of things, including colon problems. He says everything else checks out fine. I tell him thanks, but no thanks.

He told me to get dressed, then he came back a few minutes later. Told me to take some antacids, and come see him if I ever change my mind about my behind. I just nod my head.

So, I don't know why my stomach hurts. I do, however, know that I don't have ball-sack cancer, ulcers, or pancreas problems. And worst of all, my balls were in the hands of an old man today, and I sorta feel like I've betrayed Howzit some how.

The end!

[sanantoniosooner]

I was totally unaware that you were a typical male.

[Stanley1]

I was totally unaware that you were a typical male.

Yes. I come from a long line of men that try to keep things out of our ***es.

[IB4OU2]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.

[colleyvillesooner]

Dude.

Gross.

I revoke my Stars ticket offer.

[sanantoniosooner]

I gotta visit Dr. Jelleyfinger myself.

I'm pretty sure it's just hemmoroids.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.

Yeah go see an OB-GYN

[bigdsooner]

And for all you haters that didn't think I'd post this tonight, BOO ON YOU!!!!!

Okay, so for the past month or so my stomach has been hurting. Alot. And for the record, I'm not preggers, never thought I was preggers, and can't get preggers. So, being a typical male, I'm not big on going to a doctor unless I just have to. I've think I've been to the family doctor in Dallas 3 times (twice for allergies) before today. But the stomach kept hurting, so I made the appointment.

I show up, and get called back. Every other time I've been here, the main Dr.'s assistant pretty much ran the show, and the Dr. would show up, sign the papers, and leave. Well.....this time the Dr., who has to be pushing 70, saw me. Alone.

He comes in and asks me what is wrong. I tell him I need my allergy medicines refilled, and told him about my stomach. First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me. I nearly killed him, but spared his life instead. Second thing he does is write out my two prescriptions for my allergies. Then he tells me to "strip down to my shorts".

Now. Maybe I'm naive, or whatever, but I don't particularly like having a 70 year old man say those words to me. It frightens me. But I did it. So I'm sitting there in my boxers, and he comes in. Tells me to lay down, and starts pulling my boxers down a little. I'm thinking, "this is really weird". So he pats and pushes on my stomach for a little bit, then tells me to stand up and drop my shorts. I know whats comin' at this point, I played sports growing up, I've had my scrot felt on before, no biggie. I will say that his exam seemed to last a little longer than I remember them usually taking though.

So there I am, standing in front of this guy, drawers on the ground, and he says this to me: "Okay, lay down on your back, you ready for this? One of the marvals of male medicine"

I immediately know what he is thinking, and I say, "Is this what I think it is, cause if so, I'm not so sure I want that happening today". He then explains that stomach pain can be any number of things, including colon problems. He says everything else checks out fine. I tell him thanks, but no thanks.

He told me to get dressed, then he came back a few minutes later. Told me to take some antacids, and come see him if I ever change my mind about my behind. I just nod my head.

So, I don't know why my stomach hurts. I do, however, know that I don't have ball-sack cancer, ulcers, or pancreas problems. And worst of all, my balls were in the hands of an old man today, and I sorta feel like I've betrayed Howzit some how.

The end!

dude, you gotta just let the doc do the deed. i had a friend die of colon cancer 1 year ago...he was 32 and had a wife and 2 year old daughter. he never returned from the weekend, he started having bad stomach pain's, went to the doc on the following monday...5 months later he died. im fittin to go to the doc for it myself. yes it scary, but its gotta be done.

now quit bein a pu**y and let the doc scope that a$$

[SoonerInKCMO]

Too much talk about Stan's *** for my taste.

[ChickSoonerFan]

now quit bein a pu**y and let the doc scope that a$$

Yeah....if your stomach keeps hurting...you need to figure out why.

No es bueno.

[usmc-sooner]

Brokeback MD

[crawfish]

You should go to OUDoc. He buys you dinner and gets you drunk first.

[proud gonzo]

just make sure you go back to the a5s doctor BEFORE you rent "Robin Williams: LIVE on Broadway"

[mdklatt]

You should go to OUDoc. He buys you dinner and gets you drunk first.

Plus, you don't need an appointment.

[Howzit]

Stan, it's ok. As long as you don't ask the doctor to pinch your nipples it's still medical. Punkin.

[12]

"Alone." would have been comedic gold had it been a paragraph by itself.

[Okla-homey]

Did Dr Brokeback give you a reach-around?

[Howzit]

First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me.

Dont' worry about it, you're bones are still growing.

Especially when 70-year-old-ball-cupping guy was doing his magic.

[Al Gore]

Plus, you don't need an appointment.

Just a hotel room......

[LoyalFan]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.

Oh, I dunno. Going to a female Dr. might turn into something good.
Wait, this is Stan, right? Something good? Ha!
Everyone knows one cannot be a doctor under the age of 18.

Earnestly, Stanislaus, get thee to a doctor and find out just how many "good months" you have before...sniff...you know. This might be something that is serious but fixable IF you act now. Call your Doctor! (Operators standing by. Have credit card ready.)

Best wishes, and I mean it.

LF