There's a guy I work with that's easily identifible by his shoes. He wears
hiking boots/sttel toe tips EVERY DAY to a computer/office oriented environment.
So when you walk into the boys room, you know when he's sitting on the throne.
So I'm using the urinal, and hear the typical pulling of toilet paper from
the mega-giant-roll. No big deal.
Then the sounds come.
The sounds? It sounds like he's sandpapering his azz.
He does this for five to six iterations.
A "sandpaper" wipe? WTF???
If some has dried on there you gotta work it a little harder.
I thought about that, but he does this at least two, usually three times a
day. Others are noticing too.
One guy wants to put some 80 grit sandpaper on his desk and tell him
to wipe with it.
I had a chem teacher in high school do the same thing. A friend and I heard the equivalent of a belt sander going of in the stall, we both laughed our arses off. Then the teacher comes into the class and looks directly at us snd smiles.
This guy has no clue people are onto him, even though some laugh in the bathroom.
an older dude was pizzin next to me the other day and said where the hell is it...oh there it is, behind the hair. hey look mother fu**er, i dont need to hear that kinda crap from another man, what the hell is wrong with people
Originally Posted by bigdsooner
an older dude was pizzin next to me the other day and said where the hell is it...oh there it is, behind the hair
Jesus - that's definately TMI!
Another story
I've noticed a lot of older dudes (50+) will be aat the urinal, pooch their butts
out and FARRRRT while taking a leak.
I must be advanced for my age.
We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that it is bad economics. FDR.
where the hell is it...oh there it is, behind the hair .
Button on a fur coat
I think my funniest story was when a friend an I went to the urinals, and
from a stall we hear:
"MOAAAAAANNNNN"
"SPLOOOSH, SPLAM, FARTTTTTTTTT, oh god, oh god"
"SPOOOOOOOSH!!!!! FARTTTTTT, SPLAMMMMM"
"Jesus, just let me get past this, and I'll never do that again"
- he said that part several times
The smell was egregious, but we laughed heartily at his expense
while he suffered immensely.
I was dropping the duece at a Love's when a trucker came in moaning with labor pains. He sits in the stall and proceeds to put whitecaps on the water for atleast 10 seconds! Then the surge hits the water making the God awfullest noise in the world. I was biting my fist to keep from laughing, but the stench got to me. "Holysh!t" is what I exclaimed as I bolted out the stall to leave!
whitecaps - funny!
I used to pastor a church in NW Oklahoma. It was Sunday night after service and I was talking to a couple in my office, when Leroy went down the hall to the men's room. The men's room was directly across the hall from my office. Now Leroy was a pretty big boy. He was said to be filthy rich because he had oil on his land, but he wore overalls and was one of the most eccentric people I have ever met, although not as eccentric as his wife, Virginia.
He closed the door and in a few moments, the explosive sounds
I don't think I have ever heard a pastor discuss #2 before.
Good jorb!
Posse resident guru on police brutality, Lady Gaga and lawnmower repair parts
glad I keep my salad plate clean so my wife doesn't get krutons when she's down there!
A covered dish I would avoid.I used to pastor a church in NW Oklahoma. It was Sunday night after service and I was talking to a couple in my office, when Leroy went down the hall to the men's room. The men's room was directly across the hall from my office. Now Leroy was a pretty big boy. He was said to be filthy rich because he had oil on his land, but he wore overalls and was one of the most eccentric people I have ever met, although not as eccentric as his wife, Virginia.
He closed the door and in a few moments, the explosive sounds
an older dude was pizzin next to me the other day and said where the hell is it...oh there it is, behind the hair
Now that's funny! Definitely one of those jokes to razz the young guys!
Hey and if you can't fart in the bathroom where in the **** are you supposed? Kids.
I usually spit in the urinal while peeing. It's sort of a reflex gesture -- like farting.
"Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever they can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser; in fees, expenses and waste of time." -- Abraham Lincoln, (1809-1865) Lawyer and President who saved the United States.
"Without opportunities on the part of the poor to obtain expert legal advice, it is idle to talk of equality before the law"-- Justice Chas. Evans Hughes
My dad explained this to me as being one of Newton's Laws of Motion....you know...action-reaction. It's keeps you balanced.
NOW GO AWAY OR I SHALL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!
My dad has mastered the trifecta of a hiccup/burp/fart in rapid order.
No stall needed.
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