"I'm gonna bang you like a screen door in a hurricane."
Colorful Metaphors
"I'm gonna bang you like a screen door in a hurricane."
Busier than a one eyed man at a peep show
Originally Posted by Harry Beanbag
It's raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
heh.
Oops, I stepped on a duck.
Toss you like a trailer in a tornado!
"That boy's more confused than a porcupine in a balloon factory."
- Jed musing over Jethro while whittling.
Hornier than a three peckered billy goat
Madder than a raped ape.
Madder than a jap on a kamikazi mission.
She's built like a brick **** house.
Hungry as an old hungry thing.
It works for most every other adjective. Go ahead, try it.
He's tall as an old tall thing.
Man, I'm drunk as an old drunk thing.
Wow, that gal is hot as an old hot thing.
See? It is the metaphor for all occasions.
Endless as an old endless thing?
Hey, you're right!!
And if frogs had wings they wouldn't bust their *** when they hopped.
Get it right. It's "raining like a 3-****ed cow ****ing on a flat rock."
Colder than a nun's **** with a copper kotex.
Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.
Colder than a welldigger's ***.
Hotter than a french whore's **** on Saturday night.
Hotter than satan's crotch.
Tighter than a mouse's ear.
Some Foghorn Leghorn-ism's:
That boy's just like a tattoo...gets under your skin
That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.
That womans as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.
Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
As bare as a cooch dancer's midriff.
Boy's like a dead horse - got no get up and go...
That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oat meal.
That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart.
The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.
I've got this boy as figgity as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.
This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!
From my grandma, may she rest in peace. Damn she made me laugh. These are the two I can think of off the top of my head.
"He makes my a$s crave a dip of snuff."
"Don't look at me like a calf looking at a new gate."
My favorite of all time
DRUNKER THAN COTTER BROWN!!!!!
More nervous than a whore in church.
Oh "She's slower than molasses in the month of January."
Spending money like a drunken sailor.
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