in the taint??? OUCH.
in the taint??? OUCH.
Kinky. Didn't know Dean was into that stuff.
Apathetic Posse Ringleader
What?
I don't know how Dean comes up with all these sayings.
Nor do I want to know.
Screw that.Originally Posted by OUDoc
I want to know. Espcially this one.
Spikey taint story, Dean. Spill it..
Ouch.Originally Posted by BlondeSoonerGirl
I was rappelling off a railroad trestle (bridge) outside of Vail, Arizona. About 120 feet or so. Anyhow, it's like a helecopter rappell. No wall to put your feet against, just a big kick off, and then you're swinging in space under the trestle. I had done it several times already that day. I thought it would be really cool to give a big-*** kick, and just throw my brake arm out and let er' rip till I was about 10 feet above the ground or so.
Long story short, I picked up way too much speed. When I went to brake, it basically smoked my glove, burned my hand, and I landed in a sitting position alongside a lower track that ran perpendicular to the above track. At probably 25 mph or so. An old rusty spike in one of the railroad ties was loose, and sticking up maybe 3 inches or so. I hit it directly on my taint. It did not pierce the skin. However, I thought I was going to die on the spot. I couldn't breath, it felt like someone was trying to give me a hot-steel enema (it was 111 degrees out), and I was sure I had some gut material hanging out betwixt me legs. I was seeing flashes of light, and then darkness, then back and forth between the two.
I was afraid to move, and really couldn't if I wanted to. I kinda fell over sideways, and for probably 15 minutes all I could do was moan "**** **** **** ****in' A......"
Seriously, I've had multiple compound fractures and deep lacerations in my day. I've had enough stitches in my head to sew up a case of Honduran baseballs. I've been screwed, blued, and tattooed. But the shattering pain, the brilliant flashes of light, the utter helplessness I experienced for that 15-20 minutes was worse than anything I've done to myself.
Of course after realizing I wasn't impaled, I went back up one more time to just get back in the saddle.
I was bruised from my thighs to my tailbone, and couldn't pee without hurting for a week or so. I didn't even try to think about sex during this time. In fact, the first time I "did it" a week or so later I was sweating bullets. I'm thinking "ol' Gus might explode or something - or this chick might think I'm passing out cause she's so good or something." Everything came out just fine. Except the obvious brain damage.
owww...
Mrs Mj says this exact same thing about twicet a year.Originally Posted by C&CDean
See? I told you, BSG.
Originally Posted by OUDoc
pfffft. She's out looking for a bridge, some rope, and some rusty spikes as we speak.
Originally Posted by C&CDean
She might want to come by for a tetanus shot first.
balls to the wall man....balls to the wall.
One more inch, Dean. Just one more itty-bitty inch and you'd have been...
...Lid.
Heh.
That was truly uncalled for.Originally Posted by BlondeSoonerGirl
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
You call your thangy Gus?
mint sprig spek to ya if I could.Originally Posted by BlondeSoonerGirl
No, she does.Originally Posted by DCSooner