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  1. #41
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member BudSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Is it too late to tell Beano that squirrels are known to carry around a pack of smokes?
    Funny you should ask.......
    Top of the page, attic dwellers!!

  2. #42
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SoonerInKCMO's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    You should have Dean over so he can shoot all the squirrels. Your tree rats would be gone and Dean would have fun. That's what we call a win-win. :thumbsup:
    We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that it is bad economics. FDR.

  3. #43
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member BudSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    You should have Dean over so he can shoot all the squirrels.
    Come to my neighborhood sometime, you cannot kill them all or keep the numbers down, they just keep muliplying.
    Seriously, for every 20-30 you kill there will be another 40-50 taking their place...but Dean could sure fill his freezer full in the process.

  4. #44
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SoonerInKCMO's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by BudSooner
    Come to my neighborhood sometime, you cannot kill them all or keep the numbers down, they just keep muliplying.
    Seriously, for every 20-30 you kill there will be another 40-50 taking their place...but Dean could sure fill his freezer full in the process.
    No kiddin'. A couple of years ago, I asked Mom what Dad wanted for Fathers' Day and she told me "a pellet gun to shoot the squirrels with". So, I got him one. He's been killing squirrels ever since (he got three of them that day) and he still can't keep them out of the attic. They're everywhere.
    We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that it is bad economics. FDR.

  5. #45
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member BudSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Sounds like Jesse Ventura should start his own squirrel killing service, here's the slogan...

    "We guarantee to eliminate the squirrels, with no chemicals needed....just one Dylan minigun will do the job, day or night remember to call Jesse or your attic will be messy
    please call 1-800-minngov"

  6. #46
    Adminstrator of PAIN
    Norm In Norman's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    I don't think I could sleep knowing that squirrels were gettin' it on in my attic.

  7. #47

    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by jdsmith
    i thought they carried the Juanita Virus
    I bet that squirrel is just lookin to get a little Juanita virus!!!

    We have **** the bed, rolled around in it, gotten up, slipped and fallen and re**** the bed.
    -- TheGOAT on Shaggy Bevo

  8. #48
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member RacerX's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Beano - Is there a corpse yet?

  9. #49
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member crawfish's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by David Earl
    May I also add that the young ones taste delicious if chicken-fried and served with cream gravy.
    Should I be embarassed to admit that I've eaten fried squirrel with cream gravy before? A bit too chewy for my tastes.

    Beano, the best way to get rid of the squirrel is to separate him from his nuts.

  10. #50
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by crawfish
    Beano, the best way to get rid of the squirrel is to separate him from his nuts.
    My father in law said something to that effect once, only slightly different.
    The SF.com Retard Remover...it makes the postards you have on ignore disappear completely:
    http://173.203.71.50/sfcom_retard_remover.user.js

  11. #51
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member OU4LIFE's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Beano,

    Welcome to home ownership. Heed my warnings..once you close off their main entrance...be prepared to start doing more of them. We had them in our attice a couple of years ago....they got in through the eave screen which was kind old and busted. So I got up there and put in more screen, and found a huge *** nest about the size of a baby basinet. They'd been at it a while apparently. So anyway, fixed the screen during the day while they were out playing......they came home surprised to find themselves locked out. That's right squirrel, I'm the landlord, and you just got evicted.

    Skip to next morning, we awaken the pitter patter of squirrel feet in the attic...WTF. So I go outside...and check the eave screen...still intact...now I'm really wondering WTF. Go to work, come home and see a squirrel on the roof....so I watch him.....he heads to the other end of the house. They had found a knothole about the size of a dime under a soffit....poked out the knot, and chewed a hole just big enough to squeeze through....BASTARDS. So stel wooled that hole on the spot....and liquid nailed it all up.

    Next morning, wake up to hear hellacious racket coming from attic. Go outside to check eave vent, and there he/she/it is....working the screen over trying to get OUT. and he get's out pretty quickly. So it's off to the store for more screen....but this time I went for the heavy gauge wire mesh...pretty thick heavy stuff and got up in the attic and put up all new mesh on both ends....and set a live trap with some pecans for the one that I knew was still inside.... a day later I had him trapped, capped his ***.

    then spent the next week shooting the little bastard off the eaves when i'd get home from work....they'd be sitting up there working over that mesh trying to get back in....a little .22 to the skull, the rest would scatter...after about 4....they quit trying to get back in.

    They are insistent little bastards....so be prepared to fight this battle for a little while....and go around and steel wool any opening in your eaves and soffits.
    I taste terrific.

  12. #52
    1st team All-American Crimson_Balls's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    You need to hire a pest control service.

    (I could hit a squirrel in the forehead with a .22 caliber rifle from fifty-yards.)

    ....Fifty-yards!

  13. #53
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Sup Balls. Did your eyes grow unaccustomed to the light of day while you were in soilitary? Has your skin taken on a vampiric pallor?

    Stories like these (and property taxes) are why I'm leery of home ownership.
    The SF.com Retard Remover...it makes the postards you have on ignore disappear completely:
    http://173.203.71.50/sfcom_retard_remover.user.js

  14. #54
    1st team All-American Crimson_Balls's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Veritas
    Sup Balls. Did your eyes grow unaccustomed to the light of day while you were in soilitary? Has your skin taken on a vampiric pallor?
    I still can't go into the light. I just sit in my underwear all day and watch ESPN classics.

  15. #55

    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Beanbag
    ...squirrels are known to carry the Plague?
    They're also known to carry in parts from a '71 Pinto, drop them on my counter, & get mad when I tell them that Ford quit making those about 20 years ago.


    Guns & God clinger-to'er.

  16. #56
    .............. OUDoc's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Yours don't have any magical powers, do they? 'Cuz you might want more protection.


  17. #57
    Hillbilly Queen

    BlondeSoonerGirl's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by OUDoc
    Yours don't have any magical powers, do they? 'Cuz you might want more protection.

    No - those live in Norm's house.

  18. #58
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 Reno's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    No matter how liberal this world may become, a man will always be judged on the amount of alcohol he can consume, and women will be impressed with it, whether they like it or not!

  19. #59
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SoonerInKCMO's Avatar
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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Has anyone heard from Beano? Did the squirrels eat him?
    We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that it is bad economics. FDR.

  20. #60
    Administrator

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    Re: Squirrels can't kill you, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerInKCMO
    Has anyone heard from Beano? Did the squirrels eat him?
    Dude! You don't think.... Surely not.
    We are here to pistol whip, shoe whip, imprison and torture. We are Phil, Beano, Norm, Dean, David Earl a.k.a. Deacon plus a bunch of ruthless mods. GADOCADWI

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