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  1. #81
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Scott, re: bow ties -
    You can't wear a bow tie with anything other than a tuxedo if you're under forty-five or not a famous novelist or not a total geek. Got that, professor?

    Still, you need to know how to tie a bow for formal events, like your wedding.

    The best way to master the tying of a bow tie: have someone who knows teach you and then practice incessantly.

    This you should do weeks before the day you actually need to tie it.

    On that day, keep a clip-on in reserve, should your bow-tying skills fail, which they probably will.

    Clip-on regular ties are perfectly acceptable for gentlemen, but only for those still in the first grade.

  2. #82
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    In case you're coming in late to the party, all of the book quotes I'm making are from Things a Man Should Know... ..About Style , a great book published by Esquire. I highly recommend purchasing one. Actually, get two. They're small. And they make great gifts. You'll be shocked by how much they are appreciated.

  3. #83
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Scott D's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Thank you sir...so Lid is now officially deemed a 'total geek' by fashion gurus.
    "The mark of a great player is in his ability to come back. The great champions have all come back from defeat." - Sam Snead

  4. #84
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    He's taking solace in the fact that he's over 45. I don't care. He's still a fruit.

  5. #85
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    More:
    Cuffs: on suit trousers or any pants you'd wear with a tie, except tuxedo pants.

    No cuffs: on jeans and khakis, unless they are pleated, which they should never be.

    Khakis that are never pleated: Bills Khakis.

    Khakis, which are patterned after military trousers, should never be pleated because military trousers have no pleats and because Humphrey Bogart wore khakis and you can be damned sure his didn't have pleats.

    The pleats of trousers that fit properly will never bulge or gap but will lie flat against your lap.

  6. #86
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    More:
    Contrary to popular belief, a quirky nonconformity is not expressed through a Mickey Mouse watch or a Bugs Bunny tie, because, well, do you know how many tens of thousands of those things sell each year?

    Likewise, wit or humor should never be expressed through your socks.

    Once upon a time labels were worn only on the inside of clothes -- those were better times.

    Some discreet logos, however, are tolerable on sports clothing: Ralph Lauren's polo player and pony, Lacoste's crocodile, Fred Perry's crest, Brooks Brothers' golden fleece.

  7. #87
    Hillbilly Queen

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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    I have some funny socks. No cartoon characters but, like, stripey and stuff.

    Does that count?

    Or does this apply to us girls?

    I'm getting addicted to this thread and it's kinda freaking me out.

  8. #88
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member proud gonzo's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    i don't think the socks thing counts for girls

    today mine have frogs on them



    ...granted this isn't because of a desire to express quirkiness but because of an inability to find a matching pair of clean white socks.
    "I'm a mother****ing party all by myself."

  9. #89
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 SactoSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Likewise, wit or humor should never be expressed through your socks.
    Bikerfox could learn something from this book.

  10. #90
    Hillbilly Queen

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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by SactoSooner
    Bikerfox could learn something from this book.
    No kidding. We could use this thread as a tool for exorcism on that fool.

  11. #91
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SoonerInKCMO's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    it is never, ever acceptable for a person of the male persuasion to wear a fur coat
    Should you see a man with a walking stick, seize it and smack him on the hip flask with it.
    Don't be hatin' on Ronnie Isley.




  12. #92
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedJed
    That said, I'm sure it breaks some obscure copyright law....
    I don't think I'd call the law against publishing copyrighted material in its entirety on the internet without permission "obscure".
    I'm not happy until you're not happy.

  13. #93
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member TUSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Esquire's style nazi slamming my beloved straw hats (as well as Kentucky Colonels and gardeners) was .... well, the last straw. I can't take any more of this; I'm returning to my home planet!
    You tell me it's the institution. Well, you know, you'd better free your mind instead.
    (Shoo-bee doo-wah)

  14. #94
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SCOUT's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Well, I am buying the book so if Esquire gives you any trouble BRJ let them know your marketing yielded at least one sale. I have never read a copy of Esquire in my life so the chances of me running across this any other way are pretty slim.

  15. #95
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 SoonerObsession's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    I have something I would like to add to his book.

    If you are sporting an OU Sooner tshirt, for the love of God, please make sure it is Crimson and Creme, not red and beige. It is also important to have the proper logo, for the slanted OU logo is retired.

    Fake OU jerseys are cheap because they look crappy. If it has white stripes on the sleeves it is a Schnelly booger trade mark and should be torched as soon as possible.

  16. #96
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by SCOUT
    Well, I am buying the book
    Wow, I guess gay really is contaigous.
    I'm not happy until you're not happy.

  17. #97
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SCOUT's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by mdklatt
    Wow, I guess gay really is contaigous.
    Heh, I guess my wife is in for a surprise.

  18. #98
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 NickelBack's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedJed
    Seersucker: not to be worn by men under fifty or whose primary residence isn't immediately adjacent to the county courthouse in a Southern state.
    I told a buddy of mine to go to Cox's and get him a seersucker suit. The dumbass went to Sears and got a ********** suit.


  19. #99
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 NickelBack's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedJed
    Number of neckties you must own: one.

    Which one? The black knit tie.

    A black knit tie coordinates with jeans and a blazer as well as it does with a French cuffed shirt and a custom-made suit.
    Yeah, I'm wearing a black knit tie with my previously recommended, $5,000 custom made suit.

  20. #100
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 SoonerObsession's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.


    If this book is negative about swatches then you can count me out!
    Last edited by SoonerObsession; 3/10/2005 at 09:33 AM.

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