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  1. #1
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    In a thread a week or two ago, I mentioned a book called Things a Man Should Know... ..About Style. This book is one that I think every man who cares at all about his appearance should own. It's witty, entertaining, a quick read, and gives you a lot of great advice on how to appear well-dressed without looking fussy or like a girly man. It deals with classic style, not trends. If you're not a man, think about buying it for your significant other.

    It is published by Esquire, which now has a series of these books, dealing with business etiquette, relationships, sex, money...

    So here's the deal: every once in awhile, I'm going to bump this thread, with excerpts from the book. Read it if you want, ignore it if you want. Make fun of it if you want. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did, and maybe some of you ****ing hillbillies will glean an item or two that will actually help you in your daily life.

    As Esquire's Editor in Chief says in the introduction,
    ...while there are surely many endeavors about which you are a genuine expert - brilliant, even, at the absolute tip-top of your game, yessir - surely a man as assured as yourself would be the first to admit that there are certain areas about which you do not, as they say, know jack. This is true of all men.

    When it comes to, say, 200-thread-count sheets or glass-blowing or piano bars, this ignorance is not only trivial,it's to be admired. But when it comes to dressing well and comporting yourself with style, it is a problem, and you know it. It can cost you jobs, women, and friends; it can cause you to be scorned by a maitre d', ignored by an airline-ticket agent, passed up by a taxi driver and - perhaps worst of all - mocked behind your back by people who actually do know how to match a sock to a shoe to a suit. It can cause you to feel like less of a man than you are, and life is too short to feel like that.
    So here we go, my gift to you, my fellow posters on the SO:

  2. #2
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    First post:
    A man in a good suite and tie looks chic:
    a man in a good suit without a tie looks more chic.

    A man who uses the word "chic" had better be kidding around.

    Jeans must never meet iron.

  3. #3
    Never gonna give you up
    Czar Soonerov's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.


  4. #4
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    more:
    There is no foot pain so severe, no dress shoe so fragile, no commute so arduous as to justify the sartorial holocaust that is wearing sneakers with a suit.

    In a pinch, paper clips can be used in place of collar stays.

    In a pinch, paper clips cannot be used in place of missing eyeglass screws.

    That's why you have extra eyeglasses.

  5. #5
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member TopDaugIn2000's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    this dude sounds pretty witty

    (the author....not you BRJ...you're just the messenger)
    Quote Originally Posted by Missouri's Coach Stein
    "When I heard Shaq had been traded, I was hoping it had been for the Paris twins because they are ridiculous," Stein joked. "They're probably the two toughest post players to guard in the country."
    CLICK HERE ----->http://www.myartvideo.com

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  6. #6
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    More:
    Suits are cooler than sports jackets.
    And give a short man the illusion of height.

    A vested suit can make you look slimmer, or bulkier, depending on the pattern and whether the suit is tailored correctly.

    Never button the bottom button on a vest.

    No, no one really knows why.

    Well, it's either because (a) the vest's first advocate, Prince Edward XII, left his undone, either inadvertently or because he was fat, or (b) the original full-length vest - also known as a waistcoat - had to be unbuttoned at the bottom to facilitate walking.

  7. #7
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by Czar Soonerov
    What's funny is that I have my arm around one of the authors.

  8. #8
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    More:
    If you are one of those men who tends to whistle while prowling the halls at work with your hands jammed into your trouser pockets and jingling the coins therin, stop it.

    Unless you want to look lumpy, reduce to an absolute minimum the number and size of the items you carry in your pockets.

  9. #9
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    More:
    Sergio Valente put it best when he said, "How you look tells the world how you feel."

    If you're still wearing Sergio Valente, you look sort of like Huggy Bear.

  10. #10
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Oh what, pray tell, does the good book have to say about... Jerusalem Cruisers? a/k/a Jesus' boots? a/k/a.... sandals?

    I say on a man.. NEVER... not in public, not in private, not on the beach.. nowhere. This isn't the Middle East.


    In Pacem Requiescat --- October 5, 2003 - October 18, 2010.

  11. #11
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Stanley1's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLidig8r
    Oh what, pray tell, does the good book have to say about... Jerusalem Cruisers? a/k/a Jesus' boots? a/k/a.... sandals?

    I say on a man.. NEVER... not in public, not in private, not on the beach.. nowhere. This isn't the Middle East.
    Damn, we actually agree on something. I would say the beach is alright, or the pool, but nowhere else. Nobody wants to see mens' feet.

  12. #12
    Junice Groupie Howzit's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Viva la Teva!

  13. #13
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member TopDaugIn2000's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    especially when worn with sox.......................
    Quote Originally Posted by Missouri's Coach Stein
    "When I heard Shaq had been traded, I was hoping it had been for the Paris twins because they are ridiculous," Stein joked. "They're probably the two toughest post players to guard in the country."
    CLICK HERE ----->http://www.myartvideo.com

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  14. #14
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by Howzit
    Viva la Teva!
    Tevas are gay as a parade. And thus, we come full circle and need to have this bumped over to the gay post.


    In Pacem Requiescat --- October 5, 2003 - October 18, 2010.

  15. #15
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 caphorns's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    My 7 year old noticed a guy in sandals, black slacks and black shirt when we were out at Dennis Seafood House and said to me . . . "Is that guy gay"? If it's possibly ghey to a 7-year old, it's probably ghey to the world.

  16. #16
    Junice Groupie Howzit's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lid
    Tevas are gay as a parade. And thus, we come full circle and need to have this bumped over to the gay post.
    Lid's Straight Cred = zilch, nil, zip, nada, bwahahaha


  17. #17
    Relax, I'm Cleared. DCSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    Quote Originally Posted by Howzit
    Viva la Teva!
    I KNEW you where a lesbian!

  18. #18
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 SactoSooner's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    One reviewer's comments:

    8 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

    Haven't we had enough of the Dry Man?, January 21, 2004

    Reviewer: "red_angel_14" (Oak Ridge, Tennessee)

    This book merely reiterates the arcane belief that male fashion should be defined by a repression of all creativity. This is a sexist belief that I strongly believe we need to leave behind with the Twentieth-Century.

    Anthropologists are beginning to realize how our world would be a much safer place if only men felt more free to express themselves and their feelings. I don't think that it would take a genius to realize how the limited-expressiveness in male "fashion" is related to the limited-expressiveness of male life in-general in this society.

    In an age when men are *finally* beginning to break free of this fashion slavery, the last thing we need is a booklet full of conservative rants deisgned to turn-back the clock, disguised as fashion advice. Unfortunately, such backward rants are all this book provides.

  19. #19
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 SoonerObsession's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    My wife has been watching "what not to wear" quite a bit. I swear I feel like everytime I get dressed I'm going to be appraised by her when she see's me.

  20. #20
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Dio's Avatar
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    Re: Things a ****ing Hillbilly Should Know... ...about style.

    I don't like that book review- it doesn't once say "****** sucks"
    Last edited by Dio; 3/9/2005 at 02:30 PM.
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