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  1. #1
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    Talking Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    From Chicago Tribune (subscription req):
    Band's driver denies drenching boat
    Dave Matthews in town for shows, but buses `parked'

    By Michael Hawthorne
    Tribune staff reporter
    Published August 10, 2004

    The bus driver for rock star Dave Matthews called from the road Monday to say his luxury coach was not the one responsible for dousing passengers on a Chicago River tour boat with foul-smelling muck over the weekend.

    Witnesses on the architectural sightseeing cruise told police they saw a long black tour bus dump liquid waste Sunday afternoon as their boat crossed under the Kinzie Street bridge.

    About two-thirds of the passengers seated on the upper deck of Chicago's Little Lady were soaked with the "brownish-yellow" substance.

    One witness gave Chicago police an Oregon license plate number that belongs to the 2003 Monaco Royale Coach driven by Jerry Fitzpatrick, who has been Matthews' tour bus driver for three years.

    Fitzpatrick confirmed he was in Chicago with Matthews, whose band played the second of two shows at Alpine Valley in Wisconsin later that night. But the driver said he was parked in front of the Peninsula Hotel, 108 E. Superior St., when the waste rained down from the bridge several blocks away.

    "There is no way I could be responsible for that," Fitzpatrick said from downstate Effingham. "I haven't emptied the tank for days. Besides, we are very cautious about how we do that sort of thing."

    To bolster his case, Fitzpatrick coaxed Sgt. Paul Gardner of the Effingham Police Department to inspect the bus. He then gave Gardner his cell phone to tell a reporter that the tank was nearly full.

    "One of the strangest requests I've ever had, that's for sure," Gardner said.

    A publicist for the Dave Matthews Band issued a statement Monday night saying the group's management had "determined that all of the buses on our tour were parked at the time of this incident."

    Back in Chicago, officials with the Chicago Architectural Foundation still were fielding angry calls from passengers on the ill-fated cruise.

    All 120 passengers were given refunds on their $25 tickets. Five went to Northwestern Memorial Hospital for testing, police said.

    Several have since called the foundation demanding compensation for clothing and personal items that got soaked.

    "One man had a very expensive leather jacket that I'm sure he's not going to want to wear again," said Lynn Osmond, the foundation's president and CEO. "Our first concern is getting through the next few days and making sure nobody gets sick. Then we want to know who is responsible for this."

    Chicago police are continuing to investigate, but for now the episode is not considered a crime, a spokesman said.

    The Illinois Environmental Protection Agency and the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago also are investigating. The culprit could face charges for illegally dumping waste into the river.

    Rob Sulski, an EPA engineer who has worked on Chicago River issues for most of the last two decades, said he has never heard of a bus emptying liquid waste into the river from a bridge. Most charter buses get rid of waste at licensed disposal sites, he said.

    Asked why a witness identified his license plate, Fitzgerald speculated that boat passengers combed the area for tour buses and came across his waiting for Dave Matthews in front of the Peninsula Hotel.

    After dropping off Matthews at Midway Airport on Monday, Fitzgerald headed to Arkansas for a break. He said he planned to empty the waste tank when he got home.

    "This band is very environmentally conscious," he said. "We wouldn't have anything to do with this sort of thing."

  2. #2
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    I heard about this on the news last night...funny as heck.

  3. #3
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    I would never bathe again. Just like how I haven't washed my right hand since I was 10, when Barry Switzer shook it.

  4. #4
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Sure was a crappy thing to do.

  5. #5
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    I think those tourists are sh*t outta luck.

  6. #6
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Dave Matthews probably doesn't give a sh*t.

  7. #7
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    That sure would **** me off.

  8. #8
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Scott D's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Run out of puns yet Rhino?

  9. #9
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Hey, the Chicago River was already a turdbucket.

  10. #10
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Gives a whole new meaning to "floater."

  11. #11
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Ah! It's poop again!

  12. #12
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member VeeJay's Avatar
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    Smile Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Isn't Matthews part of that leftist contingent that's touring around insisting on Kerry getting elected?

    Methinks his tour bus got wind that the boat was full of Conservatives.

  13. #13
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    What a sh*tty day.

  14. #14
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    So, that's why the water is a yellowish brown.

  15. #15
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member The Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    I thought this was about his politics on the "Rock the Vote" tour.
    “It never changes. Football is a game of repetition, mental and physical. You may try to articulate it a little different, but it's the same thing: Get better players, make fewer mistakes, and drill the fundamentals into your players' heads. The rest of it is a joke. Teams aren't winning because of what they had for breakfast or what some coach said in the locker room.” - Barry Switzer

  16. #16
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member saucysoonergal's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Don't pour foul yellowish/brown liquid down my back and tell me it is raining.

  17. #17
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    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Of course, the tourists were all flush with anger.

  18. #18
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Gives a whole new meaning to "crash into me."

  19. #19
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member The Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    Dave Matthews bus = Ronald Miller

    Chicago boat riders = redhead dood's front door in "Can't Buy Me Love".
    “It never changes. Football is a game of repetition, mental and physical. You may try to articulate it a little different, but it's the same thing: Get better players, make fewer mistakes, and drill the fundamentals into your players' heads. The rest of it is a joke. Teams aren't winning because of what they had for breakfast or what some coach said in the locker room.” - Barry Switzer

  20. #20
    Mmm... ...ribs.

    BigRedJed's Avatar
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    Re: Dave Matthews craps on Chicago

    When asked about the incident, Matthews said "I did it!"

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