Walking into a bar

[The]

An infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve infectious diseases here!"
The infectious disease says "Well, you're not a very good host."




Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve bacteria here!"
One bacteria says "That's ok, we work here." "Yeah," says the other, "we're Staph."




A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve superconductors here!"
The room temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

[The]

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Descartes! Want a beer?" Descartes replies, "Beer? I think not."

*POOF*

Descartes vanishes.

[The]

A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The beer is poured, and the neutron asks how much he owes.
Barman replies "for you, no charge"

[3rdgensooner]

A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

[The]

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

[I Am Right]

OK!

[The]

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: "We don´t serve noble gases". Helium doesn´t react

[Howzit]

CO2 walks into a bar and the bartender says I can't serve you.

CO2 says, "Blow me."

[Howzit]

A quark walks into a bar. The bartender says nice to see you again. The quark says, "Charmed, I'm sure."

[Howzit]

Saliva walks into a bar. The bartender screams, "you ****ing son of a bitch, I told you not to bring your *** back here, get on back to whatever ****hole you came from!!"

Saliva says, "Mucus too much."

[tommieharris91]

An alligator walks into a bar. He can't sit at the bar because he's an alligator. He can't speak to the bartender because he is an alligator. The alligator leaves the bar, scaring a few customers and knocking over a few tables on his way out.

[The]

An alligator walks into a bar. He can't sit at the bar because he's an alligator. He can't speak to the bartender because he is an alligator. The alligator leaves the bar, scaring a few customers and knocking over a few tables on his way out.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it's surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way out.

[The]

A man walks into a bar.

He is alcoholic and his drinking is destroying his family.

[tommieharris91]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it's surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way out.

Meh. The first one I saw was with an alligator.

[The]

Meh. The first one I saw was with an alligator.

I saw it with a horse.

[tommieharris91]

I saw it with a horse.

An elephant walks into a bar.

OK, now you know I'm lying. An elephant can't walk into a bar unless the doors are 20 feet high and 10 feet wide. Even then, it would crush the bar.

[The]

A black guy, a gay guy, and a white guy walk into a bar.

They have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company.

[Mississippi Sooner]

A baby seal walks into a club.

[TUSooner]

A black guy, a gay guy, and a white guy walk into a bar.

They have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company.

C'mon. Even jokes have to be somewhat plausible.

[sooner59]

A black guy walks into a bar.

He drinks his beer, pays his tab, and couldn't have been more respectable.