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  1. #1
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    You women Pay tention

    This Is How to Make a Happy marriage

    Without further ado.....
    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

    Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

    Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

    Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

    Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

    Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

    Be happy to see him.

    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

    Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

    Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

    Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

    Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

    Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

    A good wife always knows her place.


    Ya got that Bitch ?
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    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  2. #2
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member SanJoaquinSooner's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Well, if you're helping her get a green card, it seems only reasonable.
    Ingles solamente (ˇno exepciones!)

  3. #3
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by SanJoaquinSooner View Post
    Well, if you're helping her get a green card, it seems only reasonable.
    Thats yer jorb jaun .
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    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  4. #4
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Tulsa_Fireman's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

    I need some hawt lesbian day lifting!
    People don't know what it is to be a champion.

    Oklahoma INVENTED it.

  5. #5
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by Tulsa_Fireman View Post
    Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

    I need some hawt lesbian day lifting!
    Dayum Wimmens Need to get this shat right !
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    Quote
    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  6. #6
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Tailwind's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    That is the funniest thing I have ever read!
    " A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have"
    Thomas Jefferson


    Olevet Posse Member

  7. #7
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by Tailwind View Post
    That is the funniest thing I have ever read!
    Truth Is Funny ?
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    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  8. #8
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Sounds reasonable to me!

  9. #9
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member Tailwind's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by olevetonahill View Post
    Truth Is Funny ?
    If you live in pre-Leave it to Beaver land, that **** might work. In the real world that will not fly. I'm sure there are many ways to make a happy marriage, but that way, only the husband is happy, and not for long.
    " A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have"
    Thomas Jefferson


    Olevet Posse Member

  10. #10
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    I would settle for just a muzzle and a fridge always stocked with beer.

    I would be set then.

  11. #11
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by Tailwind View Post
    If you live in pre-Leave it to Beaver land, that **** might work. In the real world that will not fly. I'm sure there are many ways to make a happy marriage, but that way, only the husband is happy, and not for long.
    Would to , Yall Dayum Wimmens need to Get Back in yer Place
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    Quote
    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  12. #12
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member boomersooner28's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Vet, if you would have only posted this 7 years ago I would still be single. Too late now. I'm screwed.

  13. #13
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 frankensooner's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    I would just settle for:

    Be happy to see him.


  14. #14
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 Skysooner's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Ode to My Woman

    When a man meets the woman he loves, everything changes. His heart races, his head spins, and suddenly all the dozens and dozens of women he's sleeping with no longer matter. A few years ago, I found the woman I love, and I've put some of my feelings into this little ode.

    Every man needs a woman, and I need you --
    to lift me when I am sad,
    to comfort me when I am down,
    to clean me when I am drunk,
    to walk beside me when I want to look like I'm not gay,
    to walk in front of me when I need someone to act as a human windbreak,
    to kiss me when I am horny,
    to massage me when I am tense and/or horny,
    to make me horny when I am not horny, and then to watch me fall asleep.

    I need you darling to clean between my toes when they are not cleaned to my satisfaction,
    to pick the nits out of my hair when I have head lice,
    to try milk for me when I am not sure of the expiration date,
    to be there when I need you to be there, and to be out of town the rest of the time.

    My darling, although it may seem sentimental, I want to take this moment to tell you I love you -- because I don't want to lose half my stuff. And even though you are far away across the ocean, I always have this [pointing to ring finger where there is no wedding ring] to remind me --[realizes the ring is not there] sorry [and hides hand].

    Goodnight, my love.
    Metaphors be with you!

  15. #15
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member tommieharris91's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    I didn't see the line that said "S his D."
    "If your dream ain't bigger than you, there's a problem with your dream." -Deion Sanders

  16. #16
    Sooner All-Big XII-2-1+1-1+1 1890MilesToNorman's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    When I get home I just want her to shut up! Blah, blah blah about stuff I don't care about. I've been talking to nimrods most of the day and I don't need any salt in the wound when I get home! Quiet Please!!!!!

    How in the world women find all that stuff to talk about is beyond me? 30 minute conversations about nothing.
    God, how I hate the 21st century.

    OleVet Posse - dung slinger
    Free Booze and Spam . What else could a Man want?

  17. #17
    SoonerFans.com Elite Member VeeJay's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by tommieharris91 View Post
    I didn't see the line that said "S his D."
    That's because it never happens.

  18. #18
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by tommieharris91 View Post
    I didn't see the line that said "S his D."
    Thats the Only Time shes Allowed to Open her Mouth .
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    Quote
    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

  19. #19
    Vacuums eat while yelling

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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Olevet, it appears your wife is being defiant behind your back and one-starring all of your threads. You better put her in her place immediately.

  20. #20
    Sooner All-World olevetonahill's Avatar
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    Re: You women Pay tention

    Quote Originally Posted by 1890MilesToNorman View Post
    When I get home I just want her to shut up! Blah, blah blah about stuff I don't care about. I've been talking to nimrods most of the day and I don't need any salt in the wound when I get home! Quiet Please!!!!!

    How in the world women find all that stuff to talk about is beyond me? 30 minute conversations about nothing.
    Did you Miss this Line ?

    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
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    Quote
    If God wanted Men to look women in the eyes, He wouldnt have gave em Boobs !

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