Wussification of our youth

[8timechamps]

As a father of two boys (ages 9 and 13), I have the enjoyment and honor of coaching their respective sports teams. As I have gone through the process of coaching the boys, I can’t help but to be reminded of “the good old days” when I was a kid playing sports. I also can’t help but notice a trend in behavior that I call the “wussification of youth sports”.

A friend of mine invited me to watch his son’s flag football game. So, I took my youngest son down and we watched the game. It was brutal. My friend’s son’s team got stomped. At halftime, the other team had scored at least 10 touchdowns and had allowed none (I don’t even think they gave up a first down). I asked my friend what the score was, to which he replied “We don’t keep score, it makes it too competitive”.

My jaw must have been down to my knees. It wasn’t like these kids were five or six years old. They were ten and eleven. If it were a “Special Olympics” type function, I could understand. These were not challenged kids. In fact, there were a few really good athletes.

Anyway, I got to talking to my friend, and he said that all the sports in his area were like that. Games never had a score, and everyone got a trophy at the end of the season. Again, if these kids were playing T ball or were young kids, I would understand, but these kids were old enough to understand winning and losing.

I’ve also noticed this in many other areas, for instance, here in Colorado (and maybe in other states too, I just don’t remember doing it in OKC) all the elementary schools have a “field day” when the kids compete in all kinds of physical activities. Each year, they give out ribbons for everyone that participates in every event. I didn’t even know that had a ribbon for 15th place!

What happened to learning how to win and lose? What happened to “competition makes you a better person”? Maybe my memories of my youth are too cloudy to remember that things were the same, but I don’t remember all of this “everyone wins when they participate” mentality.

[Viking Kitten]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.

[8timechamps]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.

Yep. We lost in a semifinal playoff game last week. My son cried for a good ten minutes. It kinda made my proud inside.

[Viking Kitten]

Yeah, we lost our playoff game Tuesday night. Sucked. Our boys are all third graders in their first year playing tackle. Our opponent was fourth graders in their second year. They pretty well steamrolled us. I thought my son was going to require therapy.

[Boarder]

The kids who are competetive by nature keep score for themselves, whether the adults do or not. And as for my son, who is a borderline mental case when it comes to competition, he doesn't even want the trophies he didn't really earn.

Tanner: Hey Yankees, you can take your apology and your trophy and shove it straight up your (buttie)!

[Viking Kitten]

Dang, I loved that movie so much when I was kid. Then I showed it to my son and just cringed from all the language and underage smoking and stuff. I guess kids these days are wussified.

[8timechamps]

Yeah, we lost our playoff game Tuesday night. Sucked. Our boys are all third graders in their first year playing tackle. Our opponent was fourth graders in their second year. They pretty well steamrolled us. I thought my son was going to require therapy.

We're third graders also...bring 'em to Colorado next year for a Rocky Mt. scrimmage.

[MojoRisen]

We have developmental leauges out here in Virginia - they have rules in place where everyone plays etc... but they definitely keep score.... It is still pretty competitive - but no Josh playing in the 80s compared to now- our teams would have absolutely crushed these kids...

I played in Edmond and we went 16 and 0 one year 5th 6th grade at that point. But in 4th 5th Grade - We used to play in Dale City and it smelled like a sewer- it was an absolute battle those days- the teams were dirty as hell. Dale City Black - They had White, Black and Gold teams back then- took me out of the game by grabbing my jewels under neath a pile - pinching, bitting and hitting. We had actual neck rolls and concusions were pretty common before we knew how serious they were...

Kids today would not be able to handle that in the 4th and 5th grade with out lawsuites and police involvement.

We just tried too fight their coaches after the game..

[8timechamps]

Growing up playing football was a lot different back in the day (maybe it was just Oklahoma).

[mdklatt]

I asked my friend what the score was, to which he replied “We don’t keep score, it makes it too competitive”.
...
What happened to learning how to win and lose? What happened to “competition makes you a better person”?

I used to referee youth soccer games. We didn't keep score for the U6s or the U8s. I don't know if this was part of the reason why, but by not keeping score there was a lot less bull**** from the overindulged parents than there was in the older brackets, as in "Sir, I'm not even keeping score so sit the **** down and shut the **** up." (The bit in italics was implied.) Everybody still knew who won and who lost, but by not making it official there were a lot less hurt feelings. Again, I'm talking about the parents, not the kids.

[8timechamps]

I used to referee youth soccer games. We didn't keep score for the U6s or the U8s. I don't know if this was part of the reason why, but by not keeping score there was a lot less bull**** from the overindulged parents than there was in the older brackets, as in "Sir, I'm not even keeping score so sit the **** down and shut the **** up." (The bit in italics was implied.) Everybody still knew who won and who lost, but by not making it official there were a lot less hurt feelings. Again, I'm talking about the parents, not the kids.

There's no doubt that some parents are the worst thing about youth sports. That's on the coach though. At the start of the season (football, baseball, etc) I have a meeting with all the parents and have them sign a "sportsmanship" contract. Basically telling them that there is zero tolerance for outbursts at coaches, kids, opposing fans and officials. I let them know that I'm not getting ejected because they can't keep their mouth shut.

It never ceases to amaze me that there are some coaches and parents that think it's big-time athletics. If the kids aren't having fun and learning, there's no point in doing it. Of course, to me, learning to lose with class is part of it too.

[mdklatt]

There's no doubt that some parents are the worst thing about youth sports. That's on the coach though. At the start of the season (football, baseball, etc) I have a meeting with all the parents and have them sign a "sportsmanship" contract. Basically telling them that there is zero tolerance for outbursts at coaches, kids, opposing fans and officials. I let them know that I'm not getting ejected because they can't keep their mouth shut.

This is a good idea, but how do you enforce it?

[JohnnyMack]

Back in my day, we just rolled around on rocks and broken glass and called it a sport.

And we liked it!

[mdklatt]

Back in my day, we just rolled around on rocks and broken glass and called it a sport.

How did you know who won?

[Ike]

I blame it all on this notion that all youth sports need to be organized.


It's been way too long since I was able to drive down a street and see kids playing baseball or football on an empty lot. As a kid, that was where I played most of my baseball and football. And we always kept score. Keeping score is what makes those come-from-behind wins possible. And there is nothing more exhilarating in all of sports than being a part of a come-from-behind win.

[Pricetag]

It's been way too long since I was able to drive down a street and see kids playing baseball or football on an empty lot.

I blame the sub-prime mortgage scam. There are no empty lots left.

[Sooner24]

How did you know who won?

Who ever got the most stitches won.

[8timechamps]

This is a good idea, but how do you enforce it?

There's no real way to enforce it, but most of the parents realize if I get ejected, and I ultimately make the playing time decisions, it's probably not a good idea.

[8timechamps]

I blame it all on this notion that all youth sports need to be organized.

Organized youth sports have been around for decades. The fact that kids spend less time playing sports in the front yard is more a product of the time we live in. With so many other options available to them, sports falls down on the list. Sad, but true.

[Ike]

I blame the sub-prime mortgage scam. There are no empty lots left.

Thats partially true...but there are still cul-de-sacs. We used to use a patch of grass that was part of the church property on our street. The pastor there (who lived across the street from me) didn't mind as long as we didn't play there while people were in church. Which meant that Sundays and Wednesdays were off. So on those days we played ball in the cul-de-sac at the end of the street.


One of the interesting offshoots from that. 3 of the kids on my street (me included) were all starters on the HS baseball team. 2 more were starters for another HS after they moved away.