So I just took this brief online course targeted at preventing my unruly male behavior from spilling over into the workplace. Apparently comments like "Nice ***, Sarah!" or "That top really shows off the implants, Mary." aren't acceptable.
At least that's what this thing tells me.
Seriously, some of the stuff they come up with is amazing. Lots of training videos show what TO do rather than describe and enact the dangerous and insulting tendencies we all have. Not this masterpiece! It's teaching me how not to imitate our Indian support staff's silly accent, how not to gesture lewdly at our female coworkers, and how to whine pitifully to our older coworkers that the overweight girl down the hall likes to lick her lips seductively at you when you eat your lunchables during break time.
I really, REALLY wish I could record this thing and display it proudly to all the denizens on this board, because you really could learn from Steve, who is mad that his boss doesn't like his gay relationship with Marco. And olevet, I'm sure you could gain some insight from Sherry, who is embarrassed about the fact that her slightly younger coworker calls her an old fart and lampoons her recollection of prehistoric television.
Oh GOD. Now they're showing me how to properly hook up with my boss. My boss happens to be a guy, but that (according to this thing) shouldn't deter me from pursuing a rewarding relationship with him. But I must not forget to watch out for his backstabbing once I break up with him for that hot new thing from the Pricing Team. What the ****.
At least it's got one thing right. It's telling me not to pay attention to those whiny beyonces who cry every time someone doesn't obey their obscure little ritual that their particular sect of faith practices strictly. Yeah, screw them!
Any similar experiences, oh enlightened ones of the South Oval?