Anyone wanna be my agent?
Anyone wanna be my agent?
I only charge 15% and can get your face on the box of Malt-O-Meal.
What'd ya say?
Why do you wanna hire an agent? What if you got bad advice and have to go back to school?Originally Posted by boomersooner28
Anyone wanna be my agent?
"If your dream ain't bigger than you, there's a problem with your dream." -Deion Sanders
Boomer... you's in the lead! #1 priority for my agent is figuring out what the hell I am going pro in!?!? Can I play Pacman professionally?
Congratulations on turning pro. I will not be your agent, because I don't think there's much job security. However, Oklahoma State's trophy room security is also bad, so I stole you a trophy to mark your tremendous accomplishment:
It's ok... I left Gundy's glass urn behind.
If you can play Donkey Kong professionally, then you can play Pacman professionally.
Now lets start training!
You're making a mistake... you should come back and "sharpen your skills." You know... since playing with pros doesn't help you get better than playing with amateurs. Oh, and your coordinator sucks, we should fire him.
I saw where this kid is a pro gamer on MTV.
Evidently he can school most anyone in Halo.
Get an XBOX 360 and we'll talk.
Forget these other bums.
It doesn't matter what you do. Just do what I say and go where I tell you and I get 20% of everything.
I've already leaked that you were with Pacman in the club, but you were just a guest in his house at the time. Memorize that line, you'll be repeating it to all the tabloids and ESPN after I call them. Nobody will believe him if he denies it so you're golden.
Mindy McCready dumped Roger Clemens to get with you. I know, she's a dirthead skank, but just go with it for now. She won't be able to deny it because she can't remember half the times she got loaded and ended up with somebody.
I'm going to float your name to some internet sites as a candidate for about half dozen college and two or three pro head coaching jobs. What, you're not a coach? You are now. I've seen it on all the sites posted by some guy who swears he's got insider connections.
We need a youtube video of you doing something ridiculous enough to attract the internet dregs but not so disgusting that nobody will want to be associated with you after they see it. Preferably some kind of nudity should be involved, but not you if you're a dude. And make sure everybody's legal, dammit! I don't rep pedders, you perv!
When's the next red carpet event? Who cares that you're not invited. We'll get you into some kind of tux that makes you look ghey...errr, fashion forward...and then you do exactly as I tell you. Find a starlet and start walking really close right beside her. Don't get so close and don't grope or grab...we don't need assault charges brought against you (at least, not yet...that's phase 2 of your celebrity career). But close enough that I can sell pictures that make it look like you two were "seen together" during a night out. Congrats, your first hollywood romance.
After all this, it's time to show your range. MTV will give a reality show to any a-hole that's willing to get kicked in the nuts, literally eat ****, or go bi on camera. I hope you're willing to do one or all of those things because you're booked on the next Real Road Next Tequila Challenge Boomer of Love.
Now that you're a shameless scandal ridden celebrity with a failed coaching career (you didn't really think you'd actually get hired, did you?), it's time to show your tender side to the public because they're probably getting sick of your crap. Dr. Phil and Oprah are going to accuse you of doing some seedy...OK, sick...things in your life, just keep saying "I don't know why I did that...the drugs and fame just change you" for the first five minutes then in the second segment let the tears flow and say "I was lost, but I'm trying to be a better person. I've changed, I'm clean and I've started a charity for one legged blind puppies that were stranded by Katrina"
So, this is where we transition into phase two where you'll lay low, maybe put out a cookbook or write a book or whatever recovering celebrities do. Then it's relapse time. But we can talk about that later.
Last edited by Ash; 5/1/2008 at 09:24 PM.
Quit talking to my client!!!
**** OFF DIP ****!!!
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