SiT's thread about his anniversary got me thinking about this. I believe one of the main problems our society has now is the lack of a stable home. When I got married, I made a life commitment and I still feel that way nearly 17 years later. Why do you think divorce has become so commonplace?
Most people are immature selfish a**holes?
That's my idea, anyway.
because people don't want to work on their problems.
Thats what the internet is for--slandering others anonymously.
People just get tired of each others' **** more easily these days and don't have the patience to work things out. Or they get married without thinking it through and surprise! Your spouse isn't someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you never thought of that in the first place.
at this point in the process, I can only assume it was a typo and they meant to say "cram"...
because wimmin's are uppity.
and the internet.
“someone's controlling the vibes!"--apache dropout
Because people don't wear enough hats.
Good point! People like more instant gratification now than ever. If people still had to churn their own butter instead of pay a few cents for a stick, perhaps people would be a little more patient.Originally Posted by rufnek05
But when it's so easy to, when you start getting
it's so much easier to just sign the papers and try again a few dozen times.
I think it's competing values: most of us still believe in getting married, but popular culture (hollywood) pushes individuality and the idea that "you can have it all". It leaves many young couples with the impression that if things get tough the best thing to do is to get out.
I can guarantee, EVERY marriage has tough times. I've been married 18 years and more than a few times wondered if I'd be married the next morning...but we've stuck it out and have a better relationship now than ever.
I honestly believe that it takes two people who WANT to be married and stay married.
My wife and I are with Widescreen, we made a committment to each other. There have been some down times...and I mean DOWN times...BUT both of decided that we still loved each other and that our problems could be worked out.
Compromise is the key...sometimes is it better to be wrong and quiet than to stand the high ground about rightousness.
Because some people feel they should be married because it is expected of them.
For the good old American lifestyle: For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... mostly for the money.
Marriage is always a work in-progress, never take anything fore granted...after 30 years i'm still learning.
Here here...that is another key.
"Marriage is peaks and Valleys"....Alan Alda in "Four Seasons"
people are tards.
"I'm a mother****ing party all by myself."
They probabaly married the wrong person. For me marriage goes beyond love.
I concur.
Lets face it, getting married immediately puts constraints on the direction your life will take. Some people have a very difficult time reconciling this with the notion that they can do whatever they want to with their life. Bringing another person into your life inherently means yielding some control of your life to that other person. Many times, that can be a good thing as 2 heads are often better than one. However, I think a lot of people take the "I can do whatever I want to whenever I want to do it" notion a little too far, and then are unable to think about the way that their choices impact their partners.
We've become a very selfish culture, which doesn't lend itself well to the idea of permanent partnerships...Media/pop culture is partly to blame, but lets face it, the underlying causes stretch much deeper than that. Capitalism inherently breeds some degree of selfishness through the "anything to get ahead" mentality that it takes to get ahead in this system. Kids nowadays believe that they too can become a fat cat, primarily because capitalism can only stay alive if each successive generation believes this at some point, but don't realize that a) it's not so easy, and b)its even harder to do so and keep your morality in tact. (n.b.: Don't think I hate capitalism because of that statement, I kind of like it...but as with anything, you have to take the good with the bad). We've become a society where often times, money is more important than relationships (friendships, marriages, etc). When that is the case, is it really surprising that divorce happens as often as it does here?
Apollo Beach Sooner
well, if you can just leave your husband and get a fat check in the process, why not
No clue, really. It's hard for me to fathom because when I made the lifelong commitment to my wife, I meant it.
Know what I think it is? I think getting married is too easy.
There is a lot of truth to the selfishness factor being so prevalent in our society, and I think that's the easy answer for divorces that happen quickly, or within a few years.
But I'm not so sure I agree with relationships that span decades. People change. Relationships change. Sometimes two people that are married decades later aren't the same two people that got married. Sometimes it can be worked out, sometimes it can't. If a couple has grown and find their paths diverging, does it makes sense to try and hold things together, even if neither is happy, and spend more decades in a bad situation?
Sometimes **** happens.
OMG!!! Howzit being serious!!! I nevar saw this comming!!!
"We don't talk about hating anybody. I don't believe you need to," Stoops said. "The Bible says not to hate anyone. You sure can dislike them a whole lot. That's probably OK."
www.myspace.com/trishstentz
My grandpa used to hack off my mom by saying it was women's fault. But I think in some ways that's right. Women aren't property anymore, they're generally equals. And they know this.
I seriously doubt there's a higher incidents of cheating, or unhappiness, in marriages now versus 100 years ago. But the decision making is altered since the consequences of divorce are different.
So two things at the heart of it all - more individualism now, and less stigma. Women don't have to put up with cheating husbands, and without fear of ostracism, can take off. Or vice versa. Like everyone's said, there's a growing sense of "I have to do what's best for me" out there, and people aren't as willing to let go of that, hence they more easily jettison marriages with which they aren't satisfied.
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