whats the most embarassing thing you've ever done?

that should explain it though

 

Heh!


I once wore a dress to work turned around backwards.

When someone mentioned that it was prettier in the back than in the front, I looked down and realized it was on backwards!

So, I run to the bathroom and turn it around. It was late in the day so it was all wrinkled in front where I'd been sitting on it all day! And, all day long I had been pulling at the sleeves and I even commented once that the sleeves seemed like they were sewn on backwards! lol

When I told my husband, he said, "I bet they couldn't tell if you were coming or going." lol

 

The soap in the bathroom at my old job smelled really good. It was the cool foaming kind.

I walked out smelling my hands.

In front of two hotties walking by.

All they saw was some jackass walk out of the men's room smelling his hands. Not a good day.

 

When I was a teenager, my girlfriend was going on a trip to New York. An airport employee commented on how heavy her bag was. Being the smartbutt I am, I felt obligated to make a joke out of it. I started to say she had a microwave in the bag, and in a sudden burst of thought I figured that would be illegal so the word "bomb" popped out instead. Stupid stupid stupid.

 

Before Cell phones were common, I got a page while I was at Logan's Roadhouse. I was holding my 2 year old while phoning the number at the payphone. All of the sudden an alarm goes off and people start freaking out. I find it difficult to turn around because my son has his hand on the alarm handle on the wall.

 

There is some funny stuff in this old thread. I bet some things have happened that can be added to this.

 

Sorry SAS I'll buy ya a drink at Christmas to help heal your mind!

 

We still don't have an answer for this.

Name a denomination and I'll name a stripper that's a member. :texan:

 

This weekend I went to take my German Shepherd swimming with another young Shepherd at my dad's pool. There were 5 or 6 people there socializing at the pool and I had to walk "Brodee" down a flight of concrete stairs to get to the water. Anyway, "Brodee" weighs a hundred pounds and when he saw that other dog he started pulling real hard. I didn't want to let go of the leash because I didn't want a dog fight, but let me tell ya, Brodee had the upper hand because he has four legs and he's low to the ground. Pulled my fat a.ss right on over, down the stairs. Landed at the bottom, rolled around, got up without a scratch. A guy yelled "are you drunk?"

 

One night a few weeks ago, I got hammered and fell off my friend's front porch, cutting open my right big toe, brusing my right knee on the sidewalk, and twisting my left ankle in the process. I was lucky only two of my friends saw it, but I was so drunk that I was laughing the whole time, so I guess it wasn't that embarrassing.

And one time I was playing pool at Coach's in Norman and I accidentally hit a woman at the bar in her *** with the end of my cue. That was embarrassing as hell. I actually blushed.

 

Me and the wife visited the in-laws a year or two after we were married. On the first night there the superbowl was on (patriots-rams) so me and the fil watched it. He got his bottle of tequila down and we had a few shots. Well, everyone went to bed except me. I stayed up watching tv... and drunk the rest of his tequila. By the time I got up to go to bed I was pretty plastered.

Now I don't remember the rest of this, the wife had to fill me in on the details. I got up in the middle of the night knocking over the lamp and breaking a wicker rocker. And then I preceded to pull down my pants and take a big crap on their nice new carpet. To make things worse I tried to stand up with my pants around my knees and fell backwards out of the window. Of course this woke her two parents up, and everyone had to carry my comatose *** back into the bedroom.

I don't touch the hard stuff anymore.

 

I don't care who you are thats funny right there!

 

I’ve got lots of most embarrassing stories.

I was a center on my junior high football team, but I could never remember the snap count in between the huddle and getting to the line and ready to snap the ball. I remember one time that we were penalized for offsides/motion about 10 times in a row because I couldn’t remember the snap count. The coach never got mad at me. He, apparently, was one of those about building sportsmanship and character coaches. He didn’t replace me. The quarterback got used to giving me the snap count before I was ready to snap it. Of course, the opposing defense also got it, which sort of defeated the whole purpose.

About 15 years ago I was supposed to give a speech at the QEII Centre in London. Except when I was ready to give my speech I couldn’t get my AV button to work. I don’t know why but it would only go in reverse instead of forward. I got so confused that I forgot what I was supposed to say. I got a good laugh from the couple of thousand conference delegates when I said I’d wing it. And then, I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to wing without my slide presentation.

About 10 years ago I was a host of another investment conference in Singapore. My job was to take care of the keynote speaker, a famous economist, who was given a suite in the adjacent hotel to the convention hall. When it came time for him to give his keynote address, I was supposed to go get him. Except, I forgot his room number. The hotel receptionist wouldn’t give it to me. I ran around several floors shouting the guy’s name out and it got really ugly until one of his staff came out of the room to ask why the delay.

 

My wife and I went to see a late night showing of Fellowship of the Ring. As we were getting out of the car, we saw a young lady step off the curb and kinda stumble. My wife and I chuckled about it like folks are prone to do. A group of teenage boys on the sidewalk in front of the theater got a pretty decent laugh out of it. The girl had high heeled boots on, and I assumed that was what caused her the trouble.

My wife and I started from our car across the parking lot to the theater. We reached the same general area where the girl had stumbled. It was January, so it was cold, but there was no snow or ice. The next thing I knew, my feet had completely slid out from under me, leaving me completely helpless. The same thing had happened to my wife. In the split second that we were airborne, my mind desperately went through several scenarios where I might be able to recover or brace myself. Unfortunately, none of them were feasible, and gravity got the best of us.

It turns out that there was a thin, invisible layer of black ice in the lot after all.

The teenage boys who had seen the girl earlier couldn't handle this new development. They raised quite a ruckus laughing and such. My wife and I quickly ascertained that we were okay, and I quickly saw the humor of the situation, and approached said group of boys to share in the joke. They didn't understand my intention, though, and quickly scattered. I didn't get mad about them laughing at me until I was already in the theater.

 

In high school I discovered I could dunk it if I sprayed about half a can of stick-em on my hands. The hottest girl in school was looking through the window of the gym before practice. I decided it was the perfect time to impress her with my leaping ability which would inevitably lead to her begging me for sex. On the dunk, I tried to add a little flair by pulling on the rim, but the result was my feet going out from under me. I landed on the gym floor in a completely horizontal position. I also bounced my head off the floor, which foreseeably resulted in some severe grogginess. All I wanted to do was get back into the locker room but didn't move too fast because I was running kind of sideways. She did not end up begging me for sex.

 

i heard are sports rivals in the next town where havin a haunted house to raise money. And one of there studs raised up out of a coffin during show. We went over there to knock him out when he raised up. They had changed and it was there high school principle that got punched. Missed two games on that one.

 

thats awesome

 

I must have been 13 or so, and I was visiting my Aunt, Uncle, and their two daughters in South Carolina. It was the older cousin's 21st b-day so we went out to a nice seafood place for dinner, the type with a lot of decorations and **** all over the walls. Nice paintings, rope, portholes, the whole nine yards.

Anyway, I was a very trusting kid. My parents had never made me do stupid things (that I can remember) and they always taught me the right path to travel. So my dad and I are talking, while the rest of the table engaged in small-talk. My father had notices a small tub of butter in the middle of the table, and pushed it towards me, saying "How do you use this?" I, being a smart lad, gave him an 'are you joking?' look and started for the plastic tear-off part on one of the corners. "No, silly. That's not how you do it."

So my father, in his infinite wisdom, takes the butter tub, turns it upside down and places it in front of me. I was perplexed. "Ninjas use their heads. They hit the butter with their heads and it goes onto their bread."

I had no bread. I was not a ninja. Ninjas, needless to say, DO NOT DO THIS (AFAIK). But I trusted my father, and with a swift motion any ninja would be proud of, I placed a perfect head-butt on the bottom of the butter tub. Pulling my head up to receive praise from my father, I faced an entire restaurant in stunned silence. My cousin, whose 21st birthday we were celebrating, had butter all over her. My Aunt. The wall. The paintings. The decorations. Covered in butter. How there was this much butter in the tub I have no idea, but nevertheless, it was everywhere but in the container.

For what seemed like forever we sat in shocked silence while my dad pretended not to be dying of laughter. As many a sheltered youth does in this situation, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, the entire room erupted in laughter, and my sentence was stayed. I don't think my face has ever been that red since.