Bronco Mendenhall...

... fast-forwards through the Super Bowl commercials on his DVR since he was out on his bicycle during the game.

 

Sets the tone for the unstoppable crying for other 13 coaches who coach their teams to play against OU.

 

Let's his wife have the remote on weekends while he's home, during football season.

 

...is staring at an unopened bottle of scotch wondering if it will calm his nerves.

 

wears grass skirts when recruiting from island to island.

 

...laughed his a$$ off when he read in the Oklahoman that some BYU alum in Tulsa is so gullible he thinks that Jim McMahon actually followed the honor code while at BYU!

for the other gullible byu fans checking in...
http://articles.latimes.com/1986-01-25/sports/sp-32744_1_jim-mcmahon
http://sportsbybrooks.com/byu-expelled-non-mormon-mcmahon-spiked-hof-20774

 

... heard Van Wilder is playing middle linebacker for OU.

 

...think's lane kiffin is an outstanding coach and looks up to him.

 

doesn't mind kissing after receiving a good salad tossing.....sorry ya'll.

 

....has worn out another DVD player watching Boise St play us in the Fiesta Bowl.

 

No worries, last time BYU played Boise State (2004), Boise State won in Boise 28-27. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=242680068

The year before Boise State won in Provo 50-12.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=233040252

 

...has cowgirls 4ever as #1 on his iPod shuffle.

 

Got laughed at by a local dealership sales staff while trying to get that $4500 trade in on his bicycle for a Prius.

 

...farts in the bathtub and laughs his a$$ off.

 

is a man!!!

 

...killed prescribed Michael Jackson Propofol.

 

Likes uses two verbs in his sentences

 

is looking for his happy place

 

....get's donkey punched if he doesn't give blumpkins in the morning.

 

is going to get the last laugh.

(OK, he isn't, but a BYU fan can dream, can't he?)