PDA

View Full Version : OU = Tiger Woods



SoonerBOI
9/20/2007, 04:34 PM
Funny article regarding a college program celebrity equivalent. I was looking for the poked and did not find their equivalent. I would say the cupcakes (OSU) would be ELLEN DEGENERES.

Question: What's the difference between how we rank college football teams and how the general public picks its favorite celebrities?

Answer: Not much.

It never ceases to amaze me how much credence we put in college football's weekly polls. We take the whole system so seriously, as if the heavens hand-delivered the top 25 on a stone tablet, or an Einsteinian formula figured out the whole thing on a supercomputer.

In reality, the process of ranking teams is so similar to how we pick our favorite stars that it hurts. All the same criteria apply -- looks, personality, talent, and body of work -- and all the same biases come into play. For example, why do some women prefer George Clooney over Brad Pitt? Why do some men prefer Angelina Jolie over Jennifer Aniston? And how the hell does Jimmy Fallon keep getting movie deals? It's subjectivity at its finest.

So I'm proposing we ditch the digits and bridge the gap between our favorite sport and our favorite icons. Instead of assigning rankings, let's assign names. It'll be much easier on everyone involved, and we might even realize how unscientific college football's scientific method actually is...

The Paris Hilton: Teams with plenty of glitz and glamour but extremely shaky talent

Notre Dame

The Shia LaBeoufs: Teams on the upswing despite no recognizable faces

Rutgers, South Florida, Troy

The Tom Cruises: Teams that have the talent but seem destined to sprout multiple, potentially crazy personalities

Penn State, UCLA, Clemson

The Tiger Woodses: Teams that have become mortal locks to win every week

USC, LSU, Florida, Oklahoma

The Renée Zellwegers: Teams only look good in the right situations

Wisconsin, Ohio State, Virginia Tech, Nebraska

The Jim Carreys: One-dimensional teams that refuse to admit they are one-dimensional

Hawaii, Missouri, Louisville, Oregon

The Ruben Studdards: Teams that seem most likely to pull a disappearing act

South Carolina, Texas A&M, Boston College, Florida State

The Rodney Dangerfields: Teams that will bark about not getting the respect they deserve

Georgia, Texas

The Natalie Portmans: Underrated teams with real talent, impressive bodies of work, and stability

West Virginia, Cal

Mark_of_Tulsa
9/20/2007, 04:45 PM
Andy Dick - OSU

goingoneight
9/20/2007, 11:56 PM
Hey... Tiger Woods kicks teh arse!!!111!1 I can deal with that association.

rubyspirit
10/6/2007, 08:39 PM
So true!