OklahomaRed
8/28/2007, 08:45 AM
Before you read, I did copy and paste from an e-mail from a friend. Not original, but thought you guys would enjoy it.
We have to admit the Horns have a practically insurmountable lead over rest of the Big 12 in Felony Arrest…..I understand the UT band is working on a stirring rendition of ‘Jailhouse Rock’ as an alternative to their less contemporary *fight song.
Sportswriters report the latest play the Horns now run from their new ‘no huddle ‘ offense (some silly rule about ‘probies’ being unable to associate with other *felons) is called “Jailbreak”… they snap the ball and everyone scatters…..40 yard dash times improved dramatically after Mack piped in the sounds of crashing glass, alarm bells, and shots being fired. An unnamed back said running with the ball is a breeze, pointing out ‘it’s a lot lighter than a TV’.
The UT Athletic Director, Delouse Dodd announced today that UT’s annual game in Dallas with OU, formerly promoted as the “Red River Shoot out”, has changed its name for obvious reason. The new corporate sponsor, Correction Corporation of America, has insisted that henceforth the brawl…uh….game, be known as the ‘Rehabilitation Bowl’ . At half time all current and *former Perps.... uh … *players, will make an appearance on the field with their probation officers…..space available. The combined bands will then play that sentimental classic, “We’ll be home for Christmas…..if only in our dreams”. It sure brings a tear to my eye even now.*
Aaron Humphries Possession
Cedric Benson Trespassing
Ramonce Taylor Possession
Edorian McCullouch Possession
Cedric Griffin Disorderly Conduct
Aaron Harris Possession
Sergo Kindel DWI
Myron Hardy Weapons
Kwame Cavil Possession
Tyrell Gatewood Possession
Tarell Brown Possession
Selvin Young Possession
Larry Dibbles Possession
Brock Edwards Assault
Robert Joseph Burgularly
Henry Melton DWI
We have to admit the Horns have a practically insurmountable lead over rest of the Big 12 in Felony Arrest…..I understand the UT band is working on a stirring rendition of ‘Jailhouse Rock’ as an alternative to their less contemporary *fight song.
Sportswriters report the latest play the Horns now run from their new ‘no huddle ‘ offense (some silly rule about ‘probies’ being unable to associate with other *felons) is called “Jailbreak”… they snap the ball and everyone scatters…..40 yard dash times improved dramatically after Mack piped in the sounds of crashing glass, alarm bells, and shots being fired. An unnamed back said running with the ball is a breeze, pointing out ‘it’s a lot lighter than a TV’.
The UT Athletic Director, Delouse Dodd announced today that UT’s annual game in Dallas with OU, formerly promoted as the “Red River Shoot out”, has changed its name for obvious reason. The new corporate sponsor, Correction Corporation of America, has insisted that henceforth the brawl…uh….game, be known as the ‘Rehabilitation Bowl’ . At half time all current and *former Perps.... uh … *players, will make an appearance on the field with their probation officers…..space available. The combined bands will then play that sentimental classic, “We’ll be home for Christmas…..if only in our dreams”. It sure brings a tear to my eye even now.*
Aaron Humphries Possession
Cedric Benson Trespassing
Ramonce Taylor Possession
Edorian McCullouch Possession
Cedric Griffin Disorderly Conduct
Aaron Harris Possession
Sergo Kindel DWI
Myron Hardy Weapons
Kwame Cavil Possession
Tyrell Gatewood Possession
Tarell Brown Possession
Selvin Young Possession
Larry Dibbles Possession
Brock Edwards Assault
Robert Joseph Burgularly
Henry Melton DWI