Family law ******-*******s/divorcees.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Ok...I've got a lot on my plate these days.
a. wife is probably gonna have a m/c anytime now
b. wife is looking for new job
c. I'm stuck in nav school away from wife

and now...for part d. We're going after sole custody of my step-daughter. I won't go into details as to why, but there's some serious stuff going on with between her, her father and step-mother. We've got her seeing a counselor and are getting the necessary paperwork filed. She lives with my wife and I (when I'm home on the weekends) full time and basically wants nothing to do with her father and step-mother at this point. We only get $150 per month from him for "clothing allowance," and he hasn't been paying her school fees like he was supposed to per the divorce decree, my wife and I have. Oh yah, he makes nearly $100K per year.

The problem is that he's gonna have the same bitch of a lawyer that took my wife to task during their divorce...and we're gonna have the same judge, one who basically lets rapists go free (those of you in Norman probably know who this is).

My questions are...what kind of hell on earth are we about to go through regarding the court system? Do any of you have free advice you can offer?

Frankly, I REALLY don't care if we don't get a drop of child support. I can take care of her with my $$ if I have to...then again, that's what I've been doing these past few months. To tell you the truth, every day, I think of her more as my daughter than my step-daughter...even though she's only 9 years younger.

At this point my fighting blood is up and my Sicilian vengeance streak is coming into play.:rolleyes:

[Hamhock]

At this point my fighting blood is up and my Sicilian vengeance streak is coming into play.:rolleyes:


horse head. bed.

you'll get whatever you want.

YWIA

[SoonerStormchaser]

Yah, I don't think the Air Force would appreciate that.

[critical_phil]

i guess you don't have Judge Foss.

and why is there no child support in place already?

my advice: if he wants a war, give him a war. make sure she is following the divorce decree to the letter, then file contempt on everything he's not.

[frankensooner]

Contempt is the way to go!

[SoonerStormchaser]

i guess you don't have Judge Foss.

and why is there no child support in place already?

my advice: if he wants a war, give him a war. make sure she is following the divorce decree to the letter, then file contempt on everything he's not.


Technically, she's not because her daughter is supposed to be with him one week, then with her the next. However, it is my step-daughter's decision to stay with us all the time. We have done NOTHING (in spite of what her ex thinks) to keep her from her father and step-mother. Trust me, cause I've experienced it, I'm not one to discourage family relationships except under the most dire of circumstances.

As far as the child support is concerned, it's joint custody...but he's listed as primary (because he kept the house during the divorce and kicked her into an apartment). The stupid judge, in her infinite wisdom, said that there would be no child support except a $150 per month "clothing allowance."

As far as giving him a war...I've got my "ammunition" ready and my "guns" loaded. He wants a war, he's about to get it. And he's going to lose big time. I'm really not one for hating people, but I've made an exception for him after seeing how he's treated (and continues to treat) my wife.


Ok...I gotta go do a SIM mission now, I'll check back in later. Thanks for your help guys.

[colleyvillesooner]

Ok...I gotta go do a SIM mission now, I'll check back in later. Thanks for your help guys.

Buzz the tower for me...

[TexasLidig8r]

I don't know about Hillbilly Law.. but in Texas, if the child is over 12 years old, a court can take her wishes into account when adjusting child custody. That doesn't mean a court must accept those wishes but can consider them.

You allege there is a "material change in the child's circumstances" regarding custody.. i.e., that the child wishes to be on a full time basis with mother, mother provides a stable home environment, is marred to a respected member of the armed forces, provides an environment which is in the child's best interest, and because of the "questionable activity" of father and step mom, it is in child's best interest to have the custody changed.

The court will, should, have a social studies worker assigned, go to both houses and will render an opinion as to what he/she believes is in the child's best interest.

At the same time, since child custody will be changing, that also constitutes a material change in circumstance necessitating the beginning of child support in an amount commiserate (sp.) with what his income level is. If ex-husband is making approximately 100K a year, ask for child support which approximates 24 percent of his net income.

Oh.. and get you the BEST family law attorney you can afford. In family law, as in criminal law, there are many hacks in that field.. get one who is smooth, polished and has a history in the family courts. It WILL make a difference.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Buzz the tower for me...
Negative Ghost Rider.....the pattern is full.

[Taxman71]

I know some stout family lawyers in the OKC area if you need. PM me if so.

[yermom]

I don't know about Hillbilly Law.. but in Texas, if the child is over 12 years old, a court can take her wishes into account when adjusting child custody. That doesn't mean a court must accept those wishes but can consider them.

You allege there is a "material change in the child's circumstances" regarding custody.. i.e., that the child wishes to be on a full time basis with mother, mother provides a stable home environment, is marred to a respected member of the armed forces, provides an environment which is in the child's best interest, and because of the "questionable activity" of father and step mom, it is in child's best interest to have the custody changed.

The court will, should, have a social studies worker assigned, go to both houses and will render an opinion as to what he/she believes is in the child's best interest.

At the same time, since child custody will be changing, that also constitutes a material change in circumstance necessitating the beginning of child support in an amount commiserate (sp.) with what his income level is. If ex-husband is making approximately 100K a year, ask for child support which approximates 24 percent of his net income.

Oh.. and get you the BEST family law attorney you can afford. In family law, as in criminal law, there are many hacks in that field.. get one who is smooth, polished and has a history in the family courts. It WILL make a difference.

ouch.

[Scott D]

ouch.

now you know why divorce is so profitable.

[yermom]

now i know why the leading cause of death for pregnant women is the baby daddy

[Tear Down This Wall]

Stormchaser,

I've got a old law school classmate who's a JAG over at Lackland. PM me and I'll give you his contact info, if you like.

[Okla-homey]

Stormchaser,

I've got a old law school classmate who's a JAG over at Lackland. PM me and I'll give you his contact info, if you like.

JAG's can't represent GI's in civil lawsuits. They can give free advice, which is usually worth what you pay for it.

If you are serious about wanting sole physical custody of this little girl, hire a good family lawyer who practices in the county where the final decree was issued.

[SoonerStormchaser]

I don't know about Hillbilly Law.. but in Texas, if the child is over 12 years old, a court can take her wishes into account when adjusting child custody. That doesn't mean a court must accept those wishes but can consider them.

You allege there is a "material change in the child's circumstances" regarding custody.. i.e., that the child wishes to be on a full time basis with mother, mother provides a stable home environment, is marred to a respected member of the armed forces, provides an environment which is in the child's best interest, and because of the "questionable activity" of father and step mom, it is in child's best interest to have the custody changed.

The court will, should, have a social studies worker assigned, go to both houses and will render an opinion as to what he/she believes is in the child's best interest.

At the same time, since child custody will be changing, that also constitutes a material change in circumstance necessitating the beginning of child support in an amount commiserate (sp.) with what his income level is. If ex-husband is making approximately 100K a year, ask for child support which approximates 24 percent of his net income.

Oh.. and get you the BEST family law attorney you can afford. In family law, as in criminal law, there are many hacks in that field.. get one who is smooth, polished and has a history in the family courts. It WILL make a difference.


Thanks Lid (seriously), this negspeks on me!

As far as the rest goes...lawyer is obtained, papers are being drawn. The "you got served" moment should happen within a few weeks. And negative on the JAG, I only consult them for wills and other military matters.

Oh, and I passed my SIM...unlike last Monday when I got my *** spanked badly by a Lt. Col.

[Okla-homey]

Thanks Lid (seriously), this negspeks on me!

As far as the rest goes...lawyer is obtained, papers are being drawn. The "you got served" moment should happen within a few weeks. And negative on the JAG, I only consult them for wills and other military matters.

Oh, and I passed my SIM...unlike last Monday when I got my *** spanked badly by a Lt. Col.

BTW, here's a handy dandy. Just put in her income and his income. How much time the kid spends with each, etc. and it will tell you what he should owe each month. Don't worry, you can use it without leaving a digital trail. Lots of folks use it just to see what baby daddy would pay in the evnt of a split.

It calculates C.S. according to Oklahoma law which is pretty cut and dried. IOW, there's no room for negotiation of child support and its according to a table. I did a couple divorces for folks in a clinical course I took in law skool and this is exactly what we used.
http://www.familiesintransition.com/

just click on the thingy in the upper right.

[sooner n houston]

As someone who has been through it, to the tune of $60K and two years of hell, I wish you all the best. I would also remind you to keep the childs best intrest in your heart and mind. I did, thats why I didn't give up and finally won. May God bless you and your family through this!

[SoonerStormchaser]

thanks SnH...trust me, this really IS about her best interest. The fact I get to totally screw him over is just the icing on the cake (and the fact he's a civil engineer for the AWACS squadron I'm trying to get into) :rolleyes:

[C&CDean]

Dean's advice? Think really, really hard before going into this battle. I'ma tell you why. You ain't her daddy. Never will be. Doesn't matter right now if her real dad is a POS. He'll always be her dad. Blood runs thicker. Trust me, I know these things.

The other thing I can tell you is that before you know it the kid will be 18 and able to make her own choices. All you can do now is love her and be there for her. Getting into a knock down drag out with her daddy ain't gonna get you anywhere.

And another thing I'll tell you. Kids will play you like a pawn. Well in today's world it'd be a cheap Mario Bros. imitation or some other stupid computer game. They'll play both ends against the middle, and change their mind like they change their underwear. Don't ever take a single thing a kid tells you straight to your heart. If you do, your heart is gonna get ripped to pieces over the next decade or so.

Final word? Kids pretty much suck. Until they're old/mature enough to come humbly back and say "dad, I sure as hell wish I'da listened to you...."

[SoonerStormchaser]

That's true Dean...and excellent points. We're being careful about getting played...which is why we didn't pursue this earlier.

[StuIsTheMan]

I could ask some of my flyboy buddies in the 390th FS to accidentaly jettison a full tank on the lawyers house...:pop: ...their on my speed dial...:pop:

http://www.airforceworld.com/fighter/gfx/f15/f15c_4.jpg


I know it's not a MO jet but it's all I could find on this computer...

[critical_phil]

That's true Dean...and excellent points.


granddaddy's right on.

[Soonerus]

tough deal, but there is only one judge in Cleveland County that would concern me, a special....

[critical_phil]

Rus, i have no idea what that means.

[Soonerus]

It was meant to be cryptic...

[critical_phil]

well, i'll guess i'll go out and buy some Lucky ****ing Charms and hope there's a secret decoder ring inside for the prize.

[Soonerus]

Were you asking a question in this thread ???

[critical_phil]

Were you asking a question in this thread ???


well, i did ask a question in this thread.


will that save me a trip to the store?

[Soonerus]

No, because it was rhetorical at best...

[critical_phil]

have you ever tried lawyering your way out of a paper bag?



there. there's a question.

seriously.

[critical_phil]

it even has one of these "?" at the end.

[Soonerus]

have you ever tried lawyering your way out of a paper bag?



there. there's a question.

seriously.

a couple of times....

[soonerboomer93]

if anyone could find a loophole in the paperbag, it would be rus

[critical_phil]

i'll take the bag minus the points.

[Soonerus]

i'll take the bag minus the points.

No comment...other than jealousy usually rears its head in head circumstances...

[SicEmBaylor]

Yah, I don't think the Air Force would appreciate that.
Why? They're not cavalry.

[critical_phil]

No comment...other than jealousy usually rears its head in head circumstances...


your, right.....Rusty........


i'm going to the store. brb.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Why? They're not cavalry.

No, but they really frown on Sicilian muscling tactics.

[MamaMia]

SoonerStormchaser, you are not alone. Unfortunately I'm hearing of this type of thing happening more and more these days. I will pray that this all gets resolved in a way that is best for your daughter. I know just how heart breaking these matters can be for families. Is it not possible to just sit down with a counselor and work this out?

When my former daughter in law re-married 2 years ago, she tried keeping my eldest granddaughter and I apart. We're very close. She is my sons only child. This went on for months until my son finally stepped in. His x-wife was even trying to encourage their 8 year old daughter to call her new mother in law "Nana". I'm Nana. :(

For months, she was always altering our visitation place, forcing us to shut the clinic down and get a hotel in the city to spend time with her so that we could take her to other places during our visit, like hair appointments, kiddie concerts and birthday parties. She didn't want us to continue making happy memories with her in our home like we had always done before. Several times, she also changed the dates on us at the very last minute, only later to cancel the visit altogether. For three years she took her to her new husbands family reunion instead of allowing us to take her to ours. Both are held on the first weekend of June. I have never been anything but polite to her but trying to deal with her got so stressful that for the first time since their divorce 8 years ago, my husband and I made the decision to only go through my son in making arrangements to see our grandchild. At first he refused to step in until I told him that we would always love his daughter but will concentrate on sharing our time with the other 4 grandchildren and see her when she turned 18. I don't think he believed us until he began to see me refusing to return his x-wifes phone calls and put my energy instead, into showering my other grandkids, as always, with more love and attention than I had time and money for.

He finally told his x-wife that he would refrain from taking legal steps for more visitation if she would assign us some grand parental visitation on an annual basis. We all sat down and worked it out for the time being. Our next meeting will be the week after spring break. Wish us luck.

[jk the sooner fan]

putting a kid of any age thru a lengthy court battle is never healthy

i'd listen to deans advice (since its not about a restaurant)

[Hamhock]

Its a shame that the parents cant just sit down with a counselor and work this out. :(


i'm not sure either CP or Rus would agree to it, but I appreciate your compassion.

[Scott D]

Dean's advice? Think really, really hard before going into this battle. I'ma tell you why. You ain't her daddy. Never will be. Doesn't matter right now if her real dad is a POS. He'll always be her dad. Blood runs thicker. Trust me, I know these things.

The other thing I can tell you is that before you know it the kid will be 18 and able to make her own choices. All you can do now is love her and be there for her. Getting into a knock down drag out with her daddy ain't gonna get you anywhere.

And another thing I'll tell you. Kids will play you like a pawn. Well in today's world it'd be a cheap Mario Bros. imitation or some other stupid computer game. They'll play both ends against the middle, and change their mind like they change their underwear. Don't ever take a single thing a kid tells you straight to your heart. If you do, your heart is gonna get ripped to pieces over the next decade or so.

Final word? Kids pretty much suck. Until they're old/mature enough to come humbly back and say "dad, I sure as hell wish I'da listened to you...."

Hmm lemme think about this. I'm walking the kid down the aisle, and the waste of sperm that contributed his sperm to create her won't be within 3 states of it. I think it means I won.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Ok, the papers were apparently signed by the Mrs. and filed this morning...so here we go.


MamaMia, I'm so sorry it's turned into that for you. That royally sucks.

My wife and I basically hate her ex with a passion. Abusive and controlling as hell and won't ever admit it. I saw this when I first met him (while he and my wife were still married to each other). About the only thing he ever did was to give my wife three wonderful children. I do everything I can (and so does my wife) to never talk badly about him in front of my step-daughter...after all, you can't fix stupid.

[C&CDean]

Hmm lemme think about this. I'm walking the kid down the aisle, and the waste of sperm that contributed his sperm to create her won't be within 3 states of it. I think it means I won.

When did you hook up with her momma? How old was she? Did her daddy even want her? All important questions.

And I didn't actually finish my thought completely. When the kids become parents themselves, and mature appropriately, then they will know who REALLY was the daddy. The problem is that those 20+ years it takes for that to happen are enough to kill the average step dad.

The biological parent can be a needle using prostitute or a psychopathic murderer......and as long as that parent tells the kid he wants them.....the kid's loyalty will be with the bio parent. Until, of course the child grows up and realizes exactly what it takes to be a parent. Then they will know....

[SoonerStormchaser]

Eggzactly

[Tear Down This Wall]

The biological parent can be a needle using prostitute or a psychopathic murderer......

:eek: :D True, so true.

[Okla-homey]

FWIW, I haven't spoken to my natural father in 25 years. My step-father however, I speak with frequently, and he was a guest in my home last month. My wife considers my step-father her f-i-l and my kid considers him her gf.

[Scott D]

When did you hook up with her momma? How old was she? Did her daddy even want her? All important questions.

And I didn't actually finish my thought completely. When the kids become parents themselves, and mature appropriately, then they will know who REALLY was the daddy. The problem is that those 20+ years it takes for that to happen are enough to kill the average step dad.

The biological parent can be a needle using prostitute or a psychopathic murderer......and as long as that parent tells the kid he wants them.....the kid's loyalty will be with the bio parent. Until, of course the child grows up and realizes exactly what it takes to be a parent. Then they will know....

a long time ago, 10/11 years old, kid wanted nothing to do with that sack of **** by the time I was in the picture. She still however had to go for a week each summer, well at least for the first two years I was up here. After that the ki-bosh was put on his visitation because of being a deadbeat.

[SicEmBaylor]

My wife considers my step-father her f-i-l and my kid considers him her gf.

Wait, what?

[SoonerStormchaser]

Someone needs to research his acronyms.