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View Full Version : Who's tougher, BEAR GRYLLS or LES STROUD?



RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/12/2007, 12:21 PM
While filming for their next episode, Les Stroud of "Survivorman" and Bear Grylls of "Man vs. Wild" cross paths in the wilderness of Alaska. Here's what follows:

Bear: It's very important to stay as warm and rubbing animal feces on yourself is a good way to do this. *Hears Footsteps*

Les: Well hey, look who it is. Sh*tface himself, Bear Grylls...

Bear: Oh...Hello Les, get separated from you boy scout troop again. Did Discovery Channel actually give you a 2nd season?

Les: Yes they did. They had no choice. Your roll is to be like the show WildBoyz, I have to be the show that teaches you to survive.

Bear: What, are you jealous that I'm stealing the spotlight?

Les: Yeah, I'm real jealous. I wish I had sh*t on my face and I wish that I used my own **** soaked shirt to keep cool, or drink water from elephant sh*t. COME ON GRYLLS, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING!?

Bear: I TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO SURVIVE!!

Les: Is that so. So normal people jump out of planes when the go camping in the middle of the Costa Rican jungle. Is that it? Normal people have camera crews following them as the go "deep into the jungle". Normal people choose to eat raw fish or jump into icy water on a glacier when they have a perfectly good fire? Face it, you're a joke. Your just a pretty face that goes hiking and films it!

Bear: You are jealous. Ratings are up on my show and besides, you couldn't cut it doing the extreme things I do. I climbed Everest at age 23, I was in the British SAS until I broke my back, and I crossed the frozen North Atlantic in an inflatable boat just to name a few! You on the other hand are just a musician who likes camping!

Les: My music is boss just like my show is relevant. It's very easy to have to use a broken dirk bike to help you survive in the desert or suffer from rabbit starvation.

Bear: Oh, I forgot you were such a bad ***. I'm out of here. Go play your harmonica and **** off.

Les: No, please stay. I'm about to do the segment where I teach my viewers how to deal with assbags in the wild.

Bear: Nice joke. You sounded convinced that people actually watch your show! Call me from your stupid satellite phone when you go prime time!...Jackass!

*The two go the separate ways and Bear whispers something to the camera*

Bear: Now I will show you how ****ting on a fire log and ****ing on a *********'s shirt can drive the ********* away!









Written by:
Kevin P.
Louisiana State

About Me
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."







CollegeHumor 2007 Connected Ventures, LLC

Turd_Ferguson
8/12/2007, 12:40 PM
I'd follow Les before Bear.

rufnek05
8/12/2007, 12:43 PM
I'd follow Les before Bear.

word

jk the sooner fan
8/12/2007, 01:37 PM
Les never climbed to the top of Mt Everest......

Scott D
8/12/2007, 03:53 PM
Les also gets stuck in Canadian Wilderness while Bear and crew sneak in a night at the Holiday Inn Express. ;)

rufnek05
8/12/2007, 05:47 PM
Les also gets stuck in Canadian Wilderness while Bear and crew sneak in a night at the Holiday Inn Express. ;)

i heard someone else talking about that. what a pansy. liket hat joke said, les does stuff the average person could do.

Harry Beanbag
8/12/2007, 05:49 PM
Bear is tougher, Les is smarter. I can't get enough of either show though.

usmc-sooner
8/12/2007, 06:04 PM
Bear's stuff is also fake (some of it) the episode of him trying to lasso a wild horse and riding was retarded, btw it was tame horses filmed on a ranch.

although I do like both shows.
I think survival is much more a mental game. I wouldn't be too freaked out unless they put me in
1) the Arctic or extreme cold (it's very hard to survive in these conditions)
2) swamps-hate them they are the succ
3) the ocean (I'm a helluva swimmer and I can make my cammie bottoms into a life jacket, but I'd just feel like floating bait, not to mention all the sun and no drinkable water)

jk the sooner fan
8/12/2007, 06:12 PM
the guy on special forces: manhunt, is tougher than both

i'd agree with harry's opinion, .......i think both shows are great in their own respects

but i wouldnt ever call bear grylls a pansy......ever, read the guys bio

usmc-sooner
8/12/2007, 06:24 PM
the guy on special forces: manhunt, is tougher than both

i'd agree with harry's opinion, .......i think both shows are great in their own respects

but i wouldnt ever call bear grylls a pansy......ever, read the guys bio

I seriously doubt either is a pansy. I'm sure both of them have to exaggerate a little just to make it entertaining enough for TV.

CUinNC
8/12/2007, 07:25 PM
It'd be alright with me to go yonderin' anywhere with either of them, and be sure to pack a bottle of some Jack Daniels, to sit around & drink it neat, with some branch water, and listen to their stories...bet either one of them got's plenty...

Hell, we could drink & sit around trying to figure out how to obliterate
Nancy Grace:D

mynameisjoe
8/12/2007, 07:47 PM
British SAS> musician and "survival enthusiast"

But Les does get points for being Canadian ;)

StoopTroup
8/12/2007, 10:07 PM
I like both guys.

Was watching Survivorman yesterday.

He was walking out of the Kalahari Desert. :eek:

He almost quit when the temp was 145 degrees one day and he couldn't get cooled down. He was wrapping a soaked bandana around his carotid artery to try and cool his blood down. Luckily the next day was a freak day with cloud cover. I'm thinking most folks wouldn't survive out there if they were in his position.

Edge goes to Les.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41246000/jpg/_41246867_kalahari_spl_203.jpg
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/13/2007, 12:26 AM
I saw it, too. Les actually cries uncle on the 5th day (of 7 scheduled). Not that I blame him, but it's the first time I've seen either one of those guys admit to bailing out of the survival dilemma.

MR2-Sooner86
8/13/2007, 12:43 AM
Ah they'll all be old news when Rambo 4 comes out ;)