How to deal with your wife's fat friend from work

[usmc-sooner]

My wife works with this short fat ugly little toad. My wife has befriended short fat ugly toad. Being a a fat little toad she has no social life and wants to hang out with us (way too much) I actually cringe when I see her pulling up or her name on the caller ID.
She has tried to get fit. She went to a gym and consulted a PT. I guess the PT was too expensive so she asked me to help her. She asked me to train her like a Marine, I almost fell over laughing. Anyways I tried to start her on a little cardio, she could not run 3 blocks (I'm talking a slow shuffle for 3 blocks, not even a jog) I went to her gym and she spends more time getting energy drinks than actually exercising.
In a way I feel sorry for her because she is lonely, but I need my alone time with my family, the wife agrees but doesn't want to hurt her feelings.
I'm to the point where I don't care about feelings.

[OKC-SLC]

PIITB.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Just tell my sister to get her fat *** home!:mad:

[critical_phil]

did you call her Private Pyle while you were PTing her?

[usmc-sooner]

did you call her Private Pyle while you were PTing her?

my 9 year old kid was calling her Pyle

[OUHOMER]

I say just push her on the exercise, i mean push her hard. Every time she comes over have the entire family go walk a very fast pace, She will get where she avoids you.

[usmc-sooner]

I forgot to mention that this lady ate an entire can of bean dip at one sitting at my house? Maybe I'm being anal but I'm thinking WTF!!!!

[OUinFLA]

Tell her she needs some incentive....like....
You can no longer visit us until you lose (insert gargantuan amount here) pounds.
Send a pic before you call again.

[OUinFLA]

I forgot to ask the obligatory..... Is she hawt?
question.
sorry about that.

[usmc-sooner]

btw

it was my bean dip she ate. It's not like she showed up with her own can or even her own bag of chips.

yeah I think I hate her.

[critical_phil]

my 9 year old kid was calling her Pyle


and make her do cadence too:

momma and poppa were sittin' in bed
poppa rolled over and this is what he said
gimmee some
PT
gimmee some
PT
good for you
good for me
want some
need some
aah haaah
oooo raaaah


or the one about hi-fi stereo and doing it in the butt. i don't remember how it goes.

[MamaMia]

Be nice and give her an hour a week for 4 weeks or so until she knows the workout routine. Have your wife limit her visits to your home. Under no circumstance would I allow her to visit unannounced.

[usmc-sooner]

a

or the one about hi-fi stereo and doing it in the butt. i don't remember how it goes.

you know how it goes :D

[Harry Beanbag]

Under no circumstance would I allow her to visit unannounced.


Unless she's bringing bean dip.

[usmc-sooner]

Unless she's bringing bean dip.

the bean dip thing was the source of a heated debate

[yermom]

dude, bean dip is cheap

just leave a can on the porch and maybe you don't have to see her

[tulsaoilerfan]

Tell her you want a 3some; maybe that will run her off. If not, guess you are in real trouble then.:D

[usmc-sooner]

Tell her you want a 3some; maybe that will run her off. If not, guess you are in real trouble then.:D

hell a threesome wouldn't cover her foot and calf

[OU Adonis]

dude, bean dip is cheap

just leave a can on the porch and maybe you don't have to see her

Put her(your) favorite bean dip in this and leave it on the front porch and maybe she will get the picture.

http://www.northcoastmarines.com/pics/pics_on_site/brake_fast.jpg

[soonerbrat]

i get it. i won't come over any more.

[critical_phil]

as a leader in the fight to end discrimination against my fellow members of the height-weight disproportionate community, you should never taunt people with bean dip.


/rant.

[Paperclip]

One of your Marine buddies needs to show up and be a wingman. Semper Fi and all that.

[Widescreen]

and make her do cadence too:

momma and poppa were sittin' in bed
poppa rolled over and this is what he said
gimmee some
PT
gimmee some
PT
good for you
good for me
want some
need some
aah haaah
oooo raaaah

That's really a sweet song. I think I'll teach it to my kids.

[KABOOKIE]

One of your Marine buddies needs to show up and be a wingman. Semper Fi and all that.


NFW! There's a code we Marines follow.

If you bring the equipment.... You hump it!

[oilmud]

I forgot to mention that this lady ate an entire can of bean dip at one sitting at my house? Maybe I'm being anal but I'm thinking WTF!!!!


Maybe her GI tract needed cleansing.

[olevetonahill]

Just **** the fat bitch and quit cryin :eek:

[VeeJay]

PIITB.

Put It In The Butt?? :eek:

[olevetonahill]

Put It In The Butt?? :eek:
DUH :pop:

[critical_phil]

Put It In The Butt?? :eek:


DAMN YOU 1TC!!!1!1!!!!


he told me it was Pee-Ing In The Butt.


i've been doing it wrong......

[goingoneight]

Throw a stick and see if she leaves.

[LoyalFan]

Ask her if you may roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Always werx fer me!
Mmmmmm...bean dip!

LF

[critical_phil]

That's really a sweet song. I think I'll teach it to my kids.


you can also substitute Poon Tang for PT.


make sure you teach them each way.


ywia.

[OU Adonis]

Sup Ann

[critical_phil]

All Night, beeyotch

[Mongo]

Keep quiet on this issue. Let things mound up. Let her have free reign of the house. Let her come over when ever she wants. This is when you go to work.

Go to the mall or where ever Lane Bryant's is. Sign your wife's friend up for their monthly magazine. Have the magazine under her name, but sent to your address.

Let a couple of issues arrive. Next time your wife's friend ****es you off, tell her that you are fed up. It has gotten so bad, that people are sending her mail to your residence.

She will be like, "WTF are you talking about? No they dont."

You plop down those moo-moo catalogs with her name and your addy. I would pay money to see her face.

[sooner_born_1960]

WTF does short,fat have to do with this? If she was hawt, would you mind her hanging out with you guys? She ate some bean dip. BFD.

[Mongo]

She ate some bean dip. BFD.

to his defense, everytime he lays down on his couch, he smells the farts she injected into the couch cushion

[OKC-SLC]

Keep quiet on this issue. Let things mound up. Let her have free reign of the house. Let her come over when ever she wants. This is when you go to work.

Go to the mall or where ever Lane Bryant's is. Sign your wife's friend up for their monthly magazine. Have the magazine under her name, but sent to your address.

Let a couple of issues arrive. Next time your wife's friend ****es you off, tell her that you are fed up. It has gotten so bad, that people are sending her mail to your residence.

She will be like, "WTF are you talking about? No they dont."

You plop down those moo-moo catalogs with her name and your addy. I would pay money to see her face.
winnar.

[OU4LIFE]

i get it. i won't come over any more.

no, you misunderstood...he wants a threesome with your calf.

[Mjcpr]

She could be one of Dean's missing heifers.

[Petro-Sooner]

A whole can of bean dip?? Good grief. Its not suppose to be a meal.

[usmc-sooner]

WTF does short,fat have to do with this? If she was hawt, would you mind her hanging out with you guys? She ate some bean dip. BFD.

If she was hawt at least she'd be pleasing to the eyes while she was getting on my nerves. The sight of her sticking her short fat fingers on the chips and dipping them in bean dip and sticking in her mouth was disgusting.
I guess you'd have to get to know her she's always talking about her diets and new work outs or routines. Like I said she wanted me to run with her, I thought she'd at least be able to get 5 blocks. It was like watching Jabba the Hut having an asthma attack.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

I forgot to mention that this lady ate an entire can of bean dip at one sitting at my house? Maybe I'm being anal but I'm thinking WTF!!!!

I did that like about 25 years ago and drunk...

[Partial Qualifier]

just leave a can on the porch and maybe you don't have to see her

:D

but then she'd set up camp and eventually have kittens underneath usmc's porch.

[Chuck Bao]

Bean dip, ummmm! This thread is giving me the munchies something terrible. I could eat a whole...wait...nevermind.

[SoonerJack]

:D

but then she'd set up camp and eventually have kittens underneath usmc's porch.

COFFEE SPEW!!!!:D

Nice work, PQ....kittens.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

:D

but then she'd set up camp and eventually have kittens underneath usmc's porch.why would a toad have kittens?