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View Full Version : I'm going to be late for work because....


soonerbrat
6/25/2007, 01:24 PM
"I have a tack in my toe."

"There's an animal in my attic and I have to flush it out."

"I accidentally poisoned myself."



These are real excuses made by a coworker of mine. He is late several times a week. Today he didn't come in until noon because he accidentally poisoned himself...with what, I don't know.

What's your best excuse?
NormanPride
6/25/2007, 01:25 PM
My cat turned off my alarm.
OUDoc
6/25/2007, 01:26 PM
Apparently your boss is an idiot, so anything should work for you.
soonerbrat
6/25/2007, 01:26 PM
Apparently your boss is an idiot, so anything should work for you.


well...that's beside the point.
Beef
6/25/2007, 01:27 PM
I called from the ER once to let my boss know that I wouldn't be back from lunch bc I was having a heart attack.
soonerbrat
6/25/2007, 01:28 PM
I called from the ER once to let my boss know that I wouldn't be back from lunch bc I was having a heart attack.


um yeah, that one is a little more legit than an animal in the attic
GrapevineSooner
6/25/2007, 01:34 PM
I called from the ER once to let my boss know that I wouldn't be back from lunch bc I was having a heart attack.

My wife called the ER on Thursday to let her boss know she wouldn't be there Friday.

Then she called on Friday and said she wouldn't be back for another week because she was having her gall bladder removed.
frankensooner
6/25/2007, 01:47 PM
A week off for a gall bladder? Two days is plenty.
TopDaugIn2000
6/25/2007, 01:48 PM
I have anal glaucoma
JohnnyMack
6/25/2007, 01:48 PM
A week off for a gall bladder? Two days is plenty.

:les:Rub some dirt on it and get back in there!!!
frankensooner
6/25/2007, 01:56 PM
Seriously, when I had mine out, I made the wife stop on the way home and get me a sandwich. I have had tooth extractions that were more of an ordeal.
dolemitesooner
6/25/2007, 02:00 PM
"I got mugged this weekedn in bricktown and some ******* shot me in the arm, I should be ok in about 3 days the doc said"


then go to work with bandages
soonerbrat
6/25/2007, 02:26 PM
he sent an email saying he wasn't just late. He mildly poisoned himself and didn't get to sleep til 3am. also "don't use glass plus without gloves"

I checked..the MSDS has NO warnings about glass plus.
NormanPride
6/25/2007, 02:37 PM
If he used it and another cleaner at the same time he could have produced chlorine gas.
Soonrboy
6/25/2007, 02:40 PM
I once had the beginnings of a stomach virus and had to head back home before I got to work to exchange slacks.
SCOUT
6/25/2007, 02:45 PM
I had an employee call in sick with an interesting ailment. He said he couldn't go to work on a Thursday and Friday because he had a case of gangrene. He was going to try to see a doctor over the weekend and said he should be fine by Monday.
TopDaugIn2000
6/25/2007, 02:46 PM
I knew NOT to mix ammonia and bleach, but I wasn't aware of how much ammonia was in dog p!ss until I poured bleach on a white bathmat that the dog had peed on just before I washed it. Damn near passed out, had to go outside for a while.
sooner_born_1960
6/25/2007, 02:48 PM
If he used it and another cleaner at the same time he could have produced chlorine gas.
Yeah, and everyone knows that gloves are an effective counter measure to chlorine gas.
soonerbrat
6/25/2007, 03:05 PM
I guess I meant..what's your best fake excuse..
Viking Kitten
6/25/2007, 03:10 PM
I guess I meant..what's your best fake excuse..

Racoon attack.
Frozen Sooner
6/25/2007, 03:19 PM
Best excuse I've ever heard for being late back from lunch?

"Some dude just cut my throat."

No lie. Actually happened to someone who worked for me.
Petro-Sooner
6/25/2007, 03:23 PM
A group of us went to Carlsbad to the cave this past semester. One of the guys told his professor that his dad died and was going to the funeral. Apprently this prof was hard core about missing class.
Scott D
6/25/2007, 03:28 PM
I called and said I was going to be late for work because Mike Rich siphoned the gas out of my fuel tank....the bastard.
TopDaugIn2000
6/25/2007, 03:34 PM
"I took out a semi truck on my way home today, so I probably won't be in next week"
Chuck Bao
6/25/2007, 03:47 PM
My doctor says that I have a vitamin D deficiency, so I'm going to the beach today to soak up some sunshine.
frankensooner
6/25/2007, 03:51 PM
Here is a good one:

My Dog ate my car keys and I have to wait for him to pass them before I can make it in.
Frozen Sooner
6/25/2007, 03:52 PM
Anal astygmatism.

I just can't see my *** goin' to work.
goingoneight
6/26/2007, 12:33 AM
I called from the ER once to let my boss know that I wouldn't be back from lunch bc I was having a heart attack.

and he believed that ****??? :eek:

:les: YOU'RE FIRED!!!

:D
goingoneight
6/26/2007, 12:35 AM
"I got mugged this weekedn in bricktown and some ******* shot me in the arm, I should be ok in about 3 days the doc said"


then go to work with bandages

Well, he might be more inclined to believe you if you said you were shot in TULSA.
def_lazer_fc
6/26/2007, 02:39 AM
dude drinks too much and is hungover every morning.
boomersooner28
6/26/2007, 07:47 AM
"I got struck by lightning" or

"my unicorn ran away, and I have to find it"
OUDoc
6/26/2007, 07:54 AM
I had an employee call in sick with an interesting ailment. He said he couldn't go to work on a Thursday and Friday because he had a case of gangrene. He was going to try to see a doctor over the weekend and said he should be fine by Monday.
Musta been a 48-hour gangrene.
pb4ou
6/26/2007, 08:05 AM
I've got gangrene, fool !!!

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/3913/mrtvy6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
RacerX
6/26/2007, 08:23 AM
Should've taken his glasses off before he used the glass plus to clean them.
RacerX
6/26/2007, 08:24 AM
Musta been a 48-hour gangrene.
It's been going around.