Personal Ad

[SicEmBaylor]

So, Baylor has this online classified/ebay type thing. I'm thinking of posting a personal ad for myself to the ladies of Baylor. It couldn't hurt, and I figure if I'm as blunt and upfront as possible then any "takers" will be seriously worth checking out.

Has anyone seen that Seinfeld where George decides that everything he has been doing with women has been wrong so he tries the opposite and walks up to this random woman in the restaurant and tells her he's a balding unemployed middle-aged man who lives at home? Well, that's the approach I'm going to take I think.

"I'm a short skinny balding 24 year old. I live off my parents income, and I still have not graduated from school. I have virtually no sense of humor, but I've got a great personality and I treat women with respect!"

I'm seriously considering doing this.
:hot: :texan:

[olevetonahill]

You Go Girl :pop:

[SicEmBaylor]

I just need the female touch again!
I'm dying over here!

[StoopTroup]

This sounds better then some of your previous attempts...

Keep us posted.

We'd like 1-10 ratings on each Woman who answers your Ad.

We also want to know about any men who answer the ad too. ;)

[SicEmBaylor]

This sounds better then some of your previous attempts...

Keep us posted.

We'd like 1-10 ratings on each Woman who answers your Ad.

We also want to know about any men who answer the ad too. ;)
We don't have gay people at Baylor. It's against the rules.

[Jimminy Crimson]

I live off my parents income, and I still have not graduated from school.

This should be implied... you go to Baylor! :texan:

;)

[def_lazer_fc]

We don't have gay people at Baylor. It's against the rules.
they're there, they're just hiding. and if anyone can bring em out of hiding it'd be you. fruit.:D

[LoyalFan]

Somehow, John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men" comes to mind.

Lenny: Tell me about the rabbits, George.
(SicEm: Tell me about the puddies, LoyalFan.)
Lenny: I'm gonna hug 'em and squeeze 'em and love 'em!
(SicEm: I'm gonna to drool on them and abuse myself while considering what I might someday, however unlikely, do with them.)
George, re Lenny; "Bang!"
LoyalFan, re SicEm; "Bang!"

[StoopTroup]

:rolleyes:

BTW...

The girls get prettier at closing time...

What are you doing here in the Oval at 3 am?

Shouldn't you be cruisin' Denny's parking lot? ;)

[SicEmBaylor]

Anyone have any suggestions on what I could say to spice up the ad a little bit?
I mean, women are turned on by humor so how can I make this kind of funny in a self-deprecating sort of way?

[SicEmBaylor]

:rolleyes:

BTW...

The girls get prettier at closing time...

What are you doing here in the Oval at 3 am?

Shouldn't you be cruisin' Denny's parking lot? ;)
The nearest Denny's is in Muskogee...have you seen the Denny's parking lot in Muskogee at 3am? OUT! ;)

[Jimminy Crimson]

I guess since it's a school sponsored thing, you're not allowed to say that you like Zima and a chick who doesn't mind cigar smoke being blown in her face...

[SicEmBaylor]

I guess since it's a school sponsored thing, you're not allowed to say that you like Zima and a chick who doesn't mind cigar smoke being blown in her face...
The cigar thing wouldn't be a problem, but the Zima would get the thread deleted.

God, what I wouldn't give for a woman who didn't mind cigar smoke blown in her face.

[Jimminy Crimson]

God, what I wouldn't give for a woman who didn't mind cigar smoke blown in her face.

You should take a trip up to Dallas and go to a cigar bar, I'm sure you'd find a chick who doesn't mind the cigar smoke and enjoys smoking 'em too.

Just a thought...

[SicEmBaylor]

You should take a trip up to Dallas and go to a cigar bar, I'm sure you'd find a chick who doesn't mind the cigar smoke and enjoys smoking 'em too.

Just a thought...

Isn't there one in Bricktown? I think it's called the Cigar and Martini lounge or something like that.

[StoopTroup]

Sicem...when I say Denny's...it's implied that I mean a place where drunk women go to eat after the clubs close...

No wonder your having so many troubles...

If you had taken my advice...you'd be on your way to Muskogee and they would all be gone by the time you got there...

Eggberts, Johnny's Egg...whatever...Hurry it's only 3:15 now! :D

[SicEmBaylor]

Sicem...when I say Denny's...it's implied that I mean a place where drunk women go to eat after the clubs close...

No wonder your having so many troubles...

If you had taken my advice...you'd be on your way to Muskogee and they would all be gone by the time you got there...

Eggberts, Johnny's Egg...whatever...Hurry it's only 3:15 now! :D
Eh, they'd have me for breakfast over there. I want a nice girl (at least publicly!)

[Jimminy Crimson]

Isn't there one in Bricktown? I think it's called the Cigar and Martini lounge or something like that.

Maker's Cigar Lounge... Nice place.

[SicEmBaylor]

Maker's Cigar Lounge... Nice place.
Yeah, I need to check that place out sometime.

[LoyalFan]

Hang out at a mosque.

LF

[StoopTroup]

Eh, they'd have me for breakfast over there. I want a nice girl (at least publicly!)
A nice girl who'll let you blow smoke in her face...

OK.

I think your maybe in need of a seasoned veteran right now...

:pop:

[SicEmBaylor]

You know, I'm considering making this into a Facebook group instead. That may have a wider pool of applicants. Is it kosher to start a "Get yourself laid" facebook group?

[SicEmBaylor]

Actually, the Facebook group idea isn't too bad. I could get SicEmEx to come in and offer a testimonial about what a great b/f I can be and such.

[StoopTroup]

http://www.bobs.com/Bobtales/images/BreakfastSampler.jpg

[SicEmBaylor]

http://www.bobs.com/Bobtales/images/BreakfastSampler.jpg
I don't get it. =(

[StoopTroup]

It's a Grand Slam Breakfast.

Most folks who know how to get past 3rd base...know how to order Breakfast for a drunk Woman. :D

[StoopTroup]

If she looks like this...

She's good to go...;)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/1xtra/tx/weekinpictures/media/nm1.jpg

BTW...is that a Zima?

[SicEmBaylor]

It's a Grand Slam Breakfast.

Most folks who know how to get past 3rd base...know how to order Breakfast for a drunk Woman. :D
I used to make SicEmEx breakfast in bed after spending a night together. :-\
See, I'm a great guy. This **** needs to be cataloged and put on display so women can know the treat they'd be in for!

I think I'm definitely going with a facebook group instead of a personal ad.

[SicEmBaylor]

If she looks like this...

She's good to go...;)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/1xtra/tx/weekinpictures/media/nm1.jpg

BTW...is that a Zima?

No, I think it's a Smirnoff Ice.

[StoopTroup]

Now your talking...

Make a note to say how you make a "Great Breakfast in Bed".

You might even elaborate on your specialties...

Leave SicemEx out of this all together.

[Jimminy Crimson]

There was a 'Casual Thursday Hook-up' group on OU's site many moons ago...

No comment on said poster's membership. :cool:

[SicEmBaylor]

So, a Facebook group it is. I'm going to have to talk to some of my female/friends first and see if I can get them to help me with this (finding friends of friends who might be interested and the like).

[StoopTroup]

Post a pic even of the Bed and the Breakfast they are sure to get once she has serviced the cook. :D

http://www.eatertainment.com/images/eatertainment/LifestyleMisc/HolidayBfast.jpg

[StoopTroup]

Do not post anything that looks like this...

http://www.oravec.com/images/Ed%20Oravec/web_Breakfast%20in%20Bed.jpg

[SicEmBaylor]

Post a pic even of the Bed and the Breakfast they are sure to get once she has serviced the cook. :D

http://www.eatertainment.com/images/eatertainment/LifestyleMisc/HolidayBfast.jpg
Well, my breakfast in bed consisted of just Capn' Crunch but I'd make whatever the hell she wanted if she actually stayed the night!

I'm looking for more than a casual one night stand though. I'm looking to start something meaningful.

[SicEmBaylor]

Do not post anything that looks like this...

http://releaseglobal.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/Himat%20B-day%20in%20bed002.jpg
Are you on facebook by any chance?

[StoopTroup]

Or this....lol

http://wheredaveis.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/330946059_c30fa9e07d.jpg

[SicEmBaylor]

Yeah, that last pic is much much much closer to being accurate.

[StoopTroup]

Seriously...

We are pulling for you to pull out of this slump...

[Jimminy Crimson]

I would be asleep, but I'm heading to Vegas tomorrow...

Too.
Excited.
To.
Sleep.

:cool:

[StoopTroup]

I would be asleep, but I'm heading to Vegas tomorrow...

Too.
Excited.
To.
Sleep.

:cool:
Awesome...

Enjoy....

Bring it all back home...

Vegas has had it to good for too long...

You deserve to clean them out...:D

[Jimminy Crimson]

Awesome...

Enjoy....

Bring it all back home...

Vegas has had it to good for too long...

You deserve to clean them out...:D

Everyone gets a sponsors gift if I bring the bank home with me!

[dolemitesooner]

Nice guy,may be gay, likes to take other guys girls to branson will cry if you stand me up, real pussover. I will buy you things until you leave, No sex involvoed I can get off if you hold my hand. hOPW TO MEET YOU SINGLE LADIES -SICEM

[Chuck Bao]

Non-religious conservative seeking like-minded politically active females. If states' rights get your blood pumpin'...If sterilization of the unclean and uneducated masses gets you wet...If you often daydream of meeting a famous conserative radio talk show host (and get lost on the way to Houston)...If you are bold enough to get involved in a campaign finance investigation...I AM YOUR MAN.

[BU BEAR]

At age 24...

I think your personal was probably reelin' them in until you got to the part where you said you would respect them. No way they would want that.

[Petro-Sooner]

No joke. I've learned women dont like that.

[Ike]

Nice conservative guy seeks woman of same views. Ideal woman must be: proficient with common tools, able to change flat tires, connect cable, wire surround sound and basically just be handy around the house.

[OUinFLA]

Nice conservative guy seeks woman of same views. Ideal woman must be: proficient with common tools, able to change flat tires, connect cable, wire surround sound and basically just be handy around the house.


If I were a woman, I could respond to that.

[Scott D]

wow, can someone resize that annoying pic?

[Mixer!]

Anyone have any suggestions on what I could say to spice up the ad a little bit?
I mean, women are turned on by humor so how can I make this kind of funny in a self-deprecating sort of way?
Do you like piña coladas?
Or getting caught in the rain?
Are you not into yoga?
Do you have half a brain?
Do you like making love at midnight, on the dunes by the cape?
Then I'm the balding Baylor guy you've looked for,
write to me and escape.

[Petro-Sooner]

Thats awesome!!!

[TopDaugIn2000]

Nice conservative guy seeks woman of same views. Ideal woman must be: proficient with common tools, able to change flat tires, connect cable, wire surround sound and basically just be handy around the house.

you rang?

and you forgot "able to operate a table saw"

http://img160.imageshack.us/img160/6356/41f5re2jt4.jpg

[Petro-Sooner]

Wanna date with Sicem???

[Mjcpr]

TD wears kneepads!!

[TopDaugIn2000]

TD wears kneepads!!

when laying cork and tile flooring, yes

and no, I don't need to date (raise) ANOTHER helpless momma's boy. achmed was enough.

[Mjcpr]

when laying corky on tile flooring, yes

Okay, I can see how that might be necessary I guess.

[yermom]

when laying cork and tile flooring, yes

and no, I don't need to date (raise) ANOTHER helpless momma's boy. achmed was enough.

oh c'mon

it's like charity work

you can probably claim it on your taxes

[Petro-Sooner]

Not even for Capt'n Crunch served in bed?

[TexasLidig8r]

NO NO NO NO.... sigh...

Sic.. every flippin' guy at Baylor is a nice, flippin' guy.. Jack Armstrong, All American boy.. the boy next door, "oh look Fluffy, it's that nice boy from up the street who goes to church twice a week. I bet he takes really good care of his mother too."

Think.... outside the box Sic... i.e.,

Irresponsible rogue seeking glib, insincere "relationship."... I am superficial and shallow, am NOT looking for meaningful relationships and enjoy the more, prurient interests in life. Interests include the Venus Butterfly and my editing of the new Kama Sutra.

There.. that oughtta do it.

[Scott D]

when laying cork and tile flooring, yes

and no, I don't need to date (raise) ANOTHER helpless momma's boy. achmed was enough.

just introduce him to achmed. and be sure to tell him that sicem is just a very shy girl.

[OKLA21FAN]

sic em
this sign says it all :pop:
http://www.denverpostbloghouse.com/lewis/wp-content/photos/secrets2.jpg

[BU BEAR]

Lid, I think your sig is enough to the point to represent in a clear, concise manner what most men are really looking for.

[Scott D]

Lid, I think your sig is enough to point to represent in a clear, concise manner what most men are really looking for.

except it's debatable as to lid being a man

[SicEmBaylor]

I am in continual awe of Lid. Once again, he has shown himself to be one of the most wise posters around these parts.

[TexasLidig8r]

I am in continual awe of Lid. Once again, he has shown himself to be one of the most wise posters around these parts.

You are an unusually insightful, intelligent poster with an astute ability to recognize sage, well-grounded advice. :D

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Hands. Out of pants. Now.

[SicEmBaylor]

HAND CHECK!

[Frozen Sooner]

NO NO NO NO.... sigh...

Sic.. every flippin' guy at Baylor is a nice, flippin' guy.. Jack Armstrong, All American boy.. the boy next door, "oh look Fluffy, it's that nice boy from up the street who goes to church twice a week. I bet he takes really good care of his mother too."

Think.... outside the box Sic... i.e.,

Irresponsible rogue seeking glib, insincere "relationship."... I am superficial and shallow, am NOT looking for meaningful relationships and enjoy the more, prurient interests in life. Interests include the Venus Butterfly and my editing of the new Kama Sutra.

There.. that oughtta do it.

Word.

And for the love of GOD do not talk about how great you were to your ex. Don't even mention the ex. No new girl wants to know about how much you pine for some other woman.

[Petro-Sooner]

Yes, dont ever bring up the ex.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Irresponsible rogue seeking glib, insincere "relationship."... I am superficial and shallow, am NOT looking for meaningful relationships and enjoy the more, prurient interests in life. Interests include the Venus Butterfly and my editing of the new Kama Sutra.



how YOU doin???

*pant pant*

[TexasLidig8r]

how YOU doin???

*pant pant*

SEE SIC! It works!

Now you just have to make sure you have your trusty Jack Sparrow compass the next time you take a road trip!

[SicEmBaylor]

SEE SIC! It works!

Now you just have to make sure you have your trusty Jack Sparrow compass the next time you take a road trip!
I'll grab the compass, you grab the secks chair, and we'll swap notes in a few months.

[SicEmBaylor]

One last question,
Would the woman who sees this facebook group be amused and give me a shot or think that starting a facebook group for this is pretty pathetic?

[Petro-Sooner]

Without a doubt.

[SicEmBaylor]

Without a doubt.
Which one?

[Petro-Sooner]

I've never been on facebook so I couldnt tell ya.

[Scott D]

One last question,
Would the woman who sees this facebook group be amused and give me a shot or think that starting a facebook group for this is pretty pathetic?

which would she find more pathetic...your facebook group, or meeting you?

[SicEmBaylor]

which would she find more pathetic...your facebook group, or meeting you?
Definitely the group actually. I'm much different in person.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Yeah...I'm sure.

[Frozen Sooner]

SEE SIC! It works!

Now you just have to make sure you have your trusty Jack Sparrow compass the next time you take a road trip!

Heh. Your signature wouldn't be a song reference, would it?

I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac
Drive me around in her Caddilac
If she's not down on her knees
She'll be flat on her back
I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac

[SicEmBaylor]

Heh. Your signature wouldn't be a song reference, would it?

I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac
Drive me around in her Caddilac
If she's not down on her knees
She'll be flat on her back
I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac

I want one with a flat spot on her head so I can rest my beer.

[Frozen Sooner]

I want one with a flat spot on her head so I can rest my beer.

Truly.

"I bring home another woman she just gives me a smile
Takes off her clothes and then we **** in a pile"

[olevetonahill]

Just place yer ad sheesh
"Will Beg for secks "
youll be married in no time

[SicEmBaylor]

Facebook group has been created. So far, I'm the only member.
I couldn't bring myself to pull off teh whole ******* persona, so this is what I wrote.



I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me that I need to get out there and start seeing someone. Apparently, my luck with the fairer sex has not been so hot lately and I've had a very very long dry spell in the dating department.

I have created this group in the hopes of spreading my net over a larger portion of the "sea" that apparently has "plenty of fish" none of which I can catch. I'm going to solicit the help of friends and anyone else I can get to join this group to either find a date for me or perhaps someone will join the group and give me a shot themselves!

So, if any of you have a quiet nice friend who never can seem to get a date then send her my way! If you've got a clingy ex that you want to pawn onto someone else then send her to me! If you're tired of being held back at clubs and bars by that friend of yours who doesn't seem to attract any male attention then send her my way! Surely someone knows SOMEONE out there that I could end up being compatible with!

It's apparent that my current approach to women simply hasn't worked. I was inspired by that Seinfeld episode where George decides the same thing and instead tries being completely honest with women telling one stranger something like, "I'm a short fat bald man who is unemployed and lives with his parents." Well, in that spirit I'm going to be completely honest. I'm a short skinny 24 year old guy whose hair is thinning and still has not graduated from Baylor. I can sometimes be a little dull since I don't like the whole dance club scene. You'll never see me at a late-night rave. I am, however, a nice guy who just wants to find a special lady whether it be one date or more.

So please...everyone....let no perpetually single girl out there continue to be alone when you could hook them up with me! Baylor is a large school with a 2-1 female to male ratio, there's gotta be someone out there for a guy like me!

[Viking Kitten]

Desperation is a stinky cologne, my friend.

[SicEmBaylor]

Desperation is a stinky cologne, my friend.
Loneliness sucks more!
Do you have a sister?

[OUinFLA]

Pathetic has reached a new low

[OCUDad]

I've got vcash says it ain't hit bottom yet.

[SicEmBaylor]

I have high hopes out there that ONE girl will see my profile and think, "you know he sounds like a pretty interesting guy. I'm going to give him a shot!"

Just ONE date is all I need to get her coming back for more!

[Scott D]

I'd be impressed if ONE girl saw your profile and was able to keep from laughing hysterically.

[Frozen Sooner]

I have high hopes out there that ONE girl will see my profile and think, "you know he sounds like a pretty interesting guy. I'm going to give him a shot!"

Just ONE date is all I need to get her coming back for more!

Byyyyy Sic'em!

[yermom]

Byyyyy Sic'em!

SicEm=Costanza, it all makes sense now

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/3/7/a/37aa646b1b740eb223d007c7fe9a7fc3.gif

[olevetonahill]

Hey Sic
I know a gal from Frisco bay
She wont **** ya , but her Brother may

[SicEmBaylor]

My group has its first members! So far they're all guys, but the site is growing!

[Scott D]

My group has its first members! So far they're all guys, but the site is growing!

no, that is reality trying to tell you something.

[OUinFLA]

They're probably just stealing your ideas.

[OU Adonis]

A couple of quick tips.

1) Don't say you have had a dry spell in dating. That makes it sound like you haven't had a date in awhile. Even if true thats information that they don't need to know. You can say that you haven't met the right girl and want to try a different approach. Which is equally true but less desperate sounding.

2) Never sound like a too nice of a guy, thats the kiss of death. You become a "Friend"

YWIA

[StoopTroup]

Hey Sic
I know a gal from Frisco bay
She wont **** ya , but her Brother may

That's kind of a catchy tune....

I got a girl she lives cross town,
She's the one that really gets down.
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl she lives on the block,
She kinda funky with her pink and black socks.
She likes to boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie woogie baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl, she lives on the hill.
She won't do it but her sister will,
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.
Blow your top blow your top blow your top.

[Petro-Sooner]

A couple of quick tips.

1) Don't say you have had a dry spell in dating. That makes it sound like you haven't had a date in awhile. Even if true thats information that they don't need to know. You can say that you haven't met the right girl and want to try a different approach. Which is equally true but less desperate sounding.

2) Never sound like a too nice of a guy, thats the kiss of death. You become a "Friend"

YWIA

Listen to the man Sic'em. He speaks the truth.

[TexasLidig8r]

"sigh".. I have failed. :(

[Scott D]

you just figure that one out now Sparky?

[StoopTroup]

Hi...

I'm 24 and looking for a Woman who won't run away from me when she sees me at 100 yards.

I'm tired of being treated like a caveman in a Geico Commercial.

I have feelings to you know...

Sincerely

The Smoking Bear