My Grandfather is Gone..

[VeeJay]

I was driving back from Atlanta this morning and around 9:30 my dad called to tell me my grandfather (his father-in-law of 53 years) in Mississippi passed away in his sleep. My “step grandmother” – my real grandmother died from leukemia when I was 3 – called to tell them the news. My grandfather would have been 94 had he lived until July 9, and my grandmother is 86, and has taken care of him for the last few years while he’s slowly deteriorated.

So it’s been a carnival over at their house the last few years, but it’s also been a painful experience all the way around. My mom, as a step-daughter, has taken backseat to her stepmother, while her own family has manipulated his finances in his declining years. They have refused to have home health agencies come into their home, mainly because my grandfather won’t have black folks in his house, taking care of him. My mom and dad, living about 15 miles away, have done all they could, trying to make them as comfortable as possible.

I feel a sense of letdown because I haven’t been to visit him in two years. Although, I have made phone calls and mailed them pictures of what was going on with us in Florida.

Mrs. VJ and my 7 year old are coming to visit me tomorrow for two weeks, and now this surfaces. So we are going to drive Tues. morning to MS, from NC – and back on Thursday – for the funeral.

This will be a classic Southern funeral – and I probably will not ever get to go to another one, with genteel old ladies and my great aunts I barely know introducing me to cousins from Texas I may or may not have seen 30 years ago.

I have a lot of good memories.

[royalfan5]

my condolences.

[OKC-SLC]

my condolences, as well.

[VeeJay]

We have known this was coming for a while - because of the slow deterioration in his condition. Six months ago, he was making my grandmother take him out every day for a steak dinner. The last couple of months he hasn't even had the will to get out of bed. I think he knew he was close to death. His mind was OK some times but his body wasn't. When one or the other shut down it's a matter of time.

He didn't have to go in to a hospital to die and it was not a surprise to my family. In that regard, God has Blessed us. I am hopeful that my grandmother can now get some rest.

She told my dad she wanted me to be a pall bearer at the funeral. It will be an honor but it will be difficult also.

[olevetonahill]

prayers to you and the Family

[olevetonahill]

We have known this was coming for a while - because of the slow deterioration in his condition. Six months ago, he was making my grandmother take him out every day for a steak dinner. The last couple of months he hasn't even had the will to get out of bed. I think he knew he was close to death. His mind was OK some times but his body wasn't. When one or the other shut down it's a matter of time.

He didn't have to go in to a hospital to die and it was not a surprise to my family. In that regard, God has Blessed us. I am hopeful that my grandmother can now get some rest.

She told my dad she wanted me to be a pall bearer at the funeral. It will be an honor but it will be difficult also.
At My Moms Funeral I Insisted that My self, My 2 sons and her other Grandsons be Pall bearers
Yea it was tuff , But It was worth it
Be strong Bro

[OUinFLA]

Saddness in my heart.
Grandads are a blessing to have enjoyed.

[SleestakSooner]

Very sorry for your loss VeeJay

[yermom]

sucks man, been there recently

it helps talking about the good times with family though

[VeeJay]

That's my last one.

As I mentioned, my real grandmother died when I was 3. I lost my other two grandparents (from my dad's side) in 1996 and 1997.

I was closer, growing up, to this one than any of my other grandparents.

There are things about each grandparent you are attracted to. This one always showed up at my baseball games, my HS and college graduation, and usually peppered me with money, and fishing gear and savings bonds at Christmas. In his last years. he shared his coin collections with me. I have some neat stuff from that. He also took me deep sea fishing a few times in Biloxi. MS. His brother owned a boat dealership in Pascagoula, MS - and it was a riot going there. My great uncle was like a white Fred Sanford. Typical "coast people." I am proud to be an offshoot of some of those genes.

The good times....

[SoonerGirl06]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[goingoneight]

I read this and told my Grandpa I loved him before he left earlier. He said "see you later..." :D He never did that sentimental stuff. God bless you, I know the feeling, I have lost two grandparents thus far in my life. The others are 87 and 88, going on 63 years of marriage. Grandma has demensia... it's tough to go through this, I think you can see I'm hearing you loud and clear.

[olevetonahill]

Saddness in my heart.
Grandads are a blessing to have enjoyed.
I only knew My Moms Parents
Dads Died when he 6 months old (His Dad anyway )
His Mom passed when I was maybe 2
But Dayum I remember Good times with granpa an granma :D
Grandma gave me cookies and home canned applesauce , Grandpa took me fishin :D
In his last years He had an Old single shot 22 ( no bullets) had a scope.
Hed fiddle with it all the time . When I came to see them , I had to site it in for him . He Said I was the Only one that could do it right !
GOD BLESS GRANPAS !:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D ;)

[Tailwind]

You're lucky to have had him for so long.....so many good memories to share. Be strong for your granny. I'm truly sorry for your loss. :(

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Sorry for you, VeeJay, it's always tough when a family member passes.

[soonerboomer93]

Sorry about your loss VeeJay

[BajaOklahoma]

Thoughts and prayers for you and the family.

I'm glad you have the memories of your grandfather and other grandparents. One set of grandparents moved to CA when I was a baby. We used to visit them every summer, but really weren't close. My other grandmother died when I was 7 - she was a diabetic in denial and didn't take care of herself. I have wonderful memories of her. Her husband, my grandfather, remarried shortly after and we rarely saw him again.

[StoopTroup]

Remember to tell your Kids about him...

Mine were pretty young when the last GreatGrandparent passed away...

I know they only knew him when he was bed ridden.

I try to tell them about when he taught me to ride a horse and bale hay and drive a tractor....

I think of mine often these days...

Being a Pallbearer will help with closure....

I was told that I would be the one to give the Eulogy for my GrandFather the night before we held services. I was nervous but with my Family by my side and my GrandFather watching over us all....I got through it.

God Bless you and your Family VeeJay...

ST

[Jimminy Crimson]

Prayers to your family...

Sorry to hear. It sounds like he lived a full life and left peacefully.

Many condolences.

[Jerk]

Sorry to hear that, man.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

So sorry for your loss.

[jk the sooner fan]

so sorry to hear about your loss - prayers for you and your family

[sooneron]

Condolences and hold on to those good memories.

[TUSooner]

Sorry for your loss; to your credit, you seem to be handling it admirably. Carry on, Sir, with our prayers and kindest wishes.

[MamaMia]

I'm sorry to hear the news about your Grandpa. Mine went on to Heaven when I was 15 years old. He worked for the Railroad and wore those overalls. I would spend part of every summer with him, my cousin and my Granny in Cleburne Texas. He would come home and tell me that if I was a good guesser, I could have the penny candy that was hidden in one of his many pockets. I just knew that I had 'the gift' because I was always able to pick the right pocket. It wasn't until my cousin told me a couple of years ago that I realized he had hidden a candy in every pocket.

Grandpas can be a real blessing. Its tough when they leave, but you will meet him again, and you will never have to say goodbye. :)

[crawfish]

Sorry to hear that. I have one grandparent left - my maternal grandfather. He'll be 93 this year. It'll be tough when he's gone. :(

[usmc-sooner]

Sorry to hear that VJ