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Jeopardude
5/24/2007, 11:29 AM
Hello, Random Person who just walked into my business. You ask me if my business is hiring. I tell you no, we’re not. And I’m speaking the truth. You walk out quickly and go to the next building. Good luck.

Let me let you in on a secret. I might have taken your name in case I hire someone in the near future, but you didn’t present yourself as the ideal employee. Here’s what you did to distance yourself from the employment finish line.

1. You dress like a bum. Really, if my first impression of you is seeing your belly or ironic t-shirt or jeans with holes in them, I'm pretty certain you're not serious about having a job. Also, sweatpants are not a great look. And that goes for Slipknot backpacks too.

2. You look like a bum. Hair is not too hard to brush. I'm not against body piercings per se, but if they're infected, I don't want to see you day in and day out. Acne's a bane of the teenager, but picking at your zits until they're bloody is sick and wrong. Shaving is something you might try to do before presenting yourself.

3. You smell. Really, I've had several decent looking people come up for a job and hit me with a cloud of the BO. Or patchouli. Or a nose burning cologne explosion. Or a Walgreen's on sale eye-burning perfume bath.

4. You have no idea what my business is. Part of why people come to my business is the helpful knowledge that the staff shares. You came in unprepared.

5. You didn't smile. Come on. I did.

6. You yelled "Y'ALL HIRING?" I don't hire nitwits. :D

May you learn from this, Random Person, get a job and spend your money at my place.

Frozen Sooner
5/24/2007, 11:55 AM
Don't forget 7. The oppressive minimum wage is keeping me from hiring more people.

StoopTroup
5/24/2007, 12:16 PM
Dear Sir...

I came by today to see if you were hiring. You said you weren't.

My Daughter has been looking for employment since fininshing her Masters Degree at Oklahoma University.

If you are hiring in the future...please contact us as we would like to leave you her resume.

Thanks for your consideration.

Amy's Dad

Oh here's Amy's Pic....

http://pixeleye.smugmug.com/photos/85089575-S.jpg

Tear Down This Wall
5/24/2007, 12:22 PM
We'll hire Amy down here in Dallas. But, tell her to cover up her belly and wear pants between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.

Our current receptionist chick takes her shoes off everyday, so if Amy absolutely must have something bare throughout the day, it's can only be the feet.

sooner_born_1960
5/24/2007, 12:24 PM
Dear Amy's Dad,
I would hire Amy in a heartbeat, but my wife would kill me.

soonerbrat
5/24/2007, 12:26 PM
Dear Amy's dad,

Why do you have a picture of your daughter dressed all slutty?

sooner_born_1960
5/24/2007, 12:28 PM
Dear Amy's Dad,

On second thought, does Amy mind working irregular hours?

Sooner in Tampa
5/24/2007, 12:32 PM
Dear Amy's Dad,

We may hire her, but we require more than one photo.

:pop:

Osce0la
5/24/2007, 03:26 PM
Dear Amy's dad,

If you love your daughter, DO NOT let Czar hire her...She will end up dead in his closet...

Widescreen
5/24/2007, 03:34 PM
Dear Amy's dad,

Amy can do amazing things with her tongue. FYI.