Okla-homey
5/16/2007, 06:00 AM
May 16, 1982...We Tied the Knot
http://aycu28.webshots.com/image/15267/2005076325015437380_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2005076325015437380)
Sunday, May 16, 1982. Summerall Chapel, The Citadel in Charleston, SC.
Precisely twenty-five years ago today, a couple of starry-eyed 22 y/o's stood at the front of a church and promised God, our parents, the assembled audience and each other that we were sticking to each other come hell or high water.
Mrs Homey had to be reminded of that a few times when her first domicile away from salt water and the beauty that is Charleston, SC was Enid, America. Believe me, as the great Clarke Griswold said in Christmas Vacation, she couldn't have been more surprised [by Enid] if she had woke-up with her head stapled to the carpet. She got used to the moving across country after doing it every three years or so, but I digress
So far, so good. BTW, it ain't all been moonlight and magnolias. Some of it has been plain old hard work...but like some smart person once said, anything worth having is worth hard work, or something.
Now, here are some little rules that we have found to be particularly instructive and useful in keeping us together. The list isn't exclusive and your mileage may vary, however, I wouldn't imagine it would vary by much because this stuff is pretty universally applicable.
1. Never both be mad at once.
2. Do not yell at each other unless the house or a child is on fire.
3. Yield to the wishes of the other person as an exercise in self-discipline if you can't think of a better reason.
4. If you have a choice between making yourself or your spouse look good, go with giving your spouse the credit.
5. Never bring up past mistakes. Its petty, never helps, and your silence will be much appreciated.
6. Save only Jesus Christ, neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. As a corrollary to #6, because it is so important, remember to put your spouse before the children. The children want yours to be a happy marriage and that is ultimately in their best interests. If you put the kid's "wants" second, the marriage is more likely to be happy and the kids will benefit more in the long run.
8. Remember to compliment each other. Do so ever single day of your lives. If you pay attention, you will notice something every day worth simple praise.
9. If you said or did something hurtful, acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness and if you happen to be the aggrieved party, accept the apology and move on.
10. Remember, like the tango, it takes two to fire-up an argument. Invariably, the one who is wrong will be doing most of the talking.
11. Jealousy destroys marriages. Give each other some breathing space. You both need outside interests and regular time alone or you're liable to get sick of each other and perhaps even stab your spouse in the neck with a ball point pen. Note: This does not authorize illicit and dangerous seckshual liaisons with other persons. These are never authorized because a) they are morally wrong and b) when your spouse finds out, your spouse is liable to stab you in the neck with a ball point pen.
12. Do not expect that "butterflies in the stomach," white hot passion stuff to last forever. It won't. However, that does not mean you've fallen out of love. It just means the marriage is naturally evolving into something deeper, richer and more fulfilling.
http://aycu26.webshots.com/image/15825/2005038630477470148_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2005038630477470148)
Us and Rev. Robert "Bob" Frederick after the wedding. He performed the marriage ceremony for us and all of three of her siblings. He does a pretty good job because all of us are still married to our original spouses.
http://aycu28.webshots.com/image/15267/2005076325015437380_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2005076325015437380)
Sunday, May 16, 1982. Summerall Chapel, The Citadel in Charleston, SC.
Precisely twenty-five years ago today, a couple of starry-eyed 22 y/o's stood at the front of a church and promised God, our parents, the assembled audience and each other that we were sticking to each other come hell or high water.
Mrs Homey had to be reminded of that a few times when her first domicile away from salt water and the beauty that is Charleston, SC was Enid, America. Believe me, as the great Clarke Griswold said in Christmas Vacation, she couldn't have been more surprised [by Enid] if she had woke-up with her head stapled to the carpet. She got used to the moving across country after doing it every three years or so, but I digress
So far, so good. BTW, it ain't all been moonlight and magnolias. Some of it has been plain old hard work...but like some smart person once said, anything worth having is worth hard work, or something.
Now, here are some little rules that we have found to be particularly instructive and useful in keeping us together. The list isn't exclusive and your mileage may vary, however, I wouldn't imagine it would vary by much because this stuff is pretty universally applicable.
1. Never both be mad at once.
2. Do not yell at each other unless the house or a child is on fire.
3. Yield to the wishes of the other person as an exercise in self-discipline if you can't think of a better reason.
4. If you have a choice between making yourself or your spouse look good, go with giving your spouse the credit.
5. Never bring up past mistakes. Its petty, never helps, and your silence will be much appreciated.
6. Save only Jesus Christ, neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. As a corrollary to #6, because it is so important, remember to put your spouse before the children. The children want yours to be a happy marriage and that is ultimately in their best interests. If you put the kid's "wants" second, the marriage is more likely to be happy and the kids will benefit more in the long run.
8. Remember to compliment each other. Do so ever single day of your lives. If you pay attention, you will notice something every day worth simple praise.
9. If you said or did something hurtful, acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness and if you happen to be the aggrieved party, accept the apology and move on.
10. Remember, like the tango, it takes two to fire-up an argument. Invariably, the one who is wrong will be doing most of the talking.
11. Jealousy destroys marriages. Give each other some breathing space. You both need outside interests and regular time alone or you're liable to get sick of each other and perhaps even stab your spouse in the neck with a ball point pen. Note: This does not authorize illicit and dangerous seckshual liaisons with other persons. These are never authorized because a) they are morally wrong and b) when your spouse finds out, your spouse is liable to stab you in the neck with a ball point pen.
12. Do not expect that "butterflies in the stomach," white hot passion stuff to last forever. It won't. However, that does not mean you've fallen out of love. It just means the marriage is naturally evolving into something deeper, richer and more fulfilling.
http://aycu26.webshots.com/image/15825/2005038630477470148_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2005038630477470148)
Us and Rev. Robert "Bob" Frederick after the wedding. He performed the marriage ceremony for us and all of three of her siblings. He does a pretty good job because all of us are still married to our original spouses.