Lunch thief at work

[Penguin]

For 2 days in a row, somebody has stolen my lunch. Over the years, my lunch is stolen about twice a year or so, but now it has become an epidemic.

I really want to send out a companywide e-mail about this. I doubt management would like me to say what I want to say, i.e. "I'm going to start putting razor blades in my food and I will laugh my *** off when you are taken to the emergency room!"

How should I word this e-mail to politely ask people to stop taking food that is not theirs and to also imply a threat?

[Howzit]

Don't say anything. Lace it with ex-lax and watch who is running to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

[SoonerBorn68]

lots of cayenne pepper.

Or Exlax.

YWIA

[1stTimeCaller]

load up your lunch with a few habaneros

[1stTimeCaller]

Hairy has a story kinda like this one doesn't he?

[Howzit]

Hairy has a story kinda like this one doesn't he?

Yes, someone laced their lunch with ex-lax and he was running to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Turd.

Sandwich.

[StuIsTheMan]

It's the I.T. guy...they all have those little beedie eyes and sneak'n around and stuff...Just go on some porn site on his computer that will teach him.

[sooner_born_1960]

If you'd stop bringing such delicious entres, I wouldn't... er, they wouldn't steal it so often.

[Penguin]

I know how to sabotage the food. I just want to give a fair warning to the sandwich burglar.

[dolemitesooner]

I think its yermom stealing your ****

[I_SMELL_FEAR]

dont actually do anything to the food, but send out an email saying "To whomever stole my lunch. Call me at xxx and I will tell you what to tell the hospital you ate, to save time."

[Turd_Ferguson]

I wouldn't say anything, just start making a lunch with boogers and pee in it. Store the good lunch in a personal cooler at your desk. NOW who get's the last laugh?

[Suerreal]

Here are some reader suggestions for this problem in a recent Dear Abby column (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20070508/lf_ucda/snackthievesarebustedbycreativecoworkers;_ylt=AkGW q6OCfbgtjO0m1XYMoecE1vAI):

[jk the sooner fan]

maybe its more about you and not so much about the food? ;)

[MamaMia]

I would just make two lunches.

[sooner_born_1960]

I would just make two lunches.
Yes.
Make them both tonight. Leave one out all night. Put the other in the refridgerator. When you get to work, put the one you left out all night in the refridgerator at work. Put the good one in your desk.

[silverwheels]

Get your office to hire Terry Tate. He'll find the culprit and pretty soon they'll be eating pain cake.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Blend up about five Oxyconten with the mayonaise. You'll spot'em before the day's over.

[StoopTroup]

http://img.shopping.com/cctool/PrdImg/images/pr/177X150/00/01/c4/5c/15/29645845.JPG + http://www.kraftcanada.com/NR/rdonlyres/54EE6C8B-09A3-4EDF-ABE3-72CE7D6C3697/0/pro_ar_miracle_whip_squeeze.jpg

Add some pickles for taste if you want....:D

[sitzpinkler]

Just write "Stool Sample" on your lunchbag.

Problem solved.

[RacerX]

Here it is (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25874)