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picasso
4/24/2007, 09:09 AM
I'm through with it........

DEEP PAIN PIZZA: MAN'S WILLY COMMITS SUICIDE IN RESTAURANT'
Mon Apr 23 2007 20:01:12 ET

A man's penis took it's own life with a knife in front of horrified diners at a busy restaurant.

Police were called to Zizzi, in The Strand, London, at 9pm on Sunday after reports of a man in possession of a knife and an angry wee willy wonka.

Sales rep Colin Nigel McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the SUN:

"This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about and yelling 'I hate Spam!'

"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his very tiny willy and minerals out.

"Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it."

A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said a man aged between 30-40 was fine and his tallywhacker was the only person injured and that his injuries were self-inflicted. There was also a note found in the kitchen apparently left by the disgruntled penis.

She said he was taken to a south London hospital where his condition was today described as stable. The Willy Wonkaer is being held without bail and under suicide watch.

Developing...
__________________
There is no place for me in this world. I don't belong out there, and I don't belong in here. So I'm going out into the Wilderness. Probably, to die.

JohnnyMack
4/24/2007, 09:36 AM
Words fail me.

Tulsa_Fireman
4/24/2007, 09:53 AM
That's gotta be hard on a guy. I mean, it takes a stiff upper lip to deal with such throbbing visual trauma. I would assume the only option would be to remain rigid in one's faith, because one can't be angry to the point of being purple headed just because someone sprung upon a table and pulled such a boner.

Stay strong, London.

You're in our prayers.

Howzit
4/24/2007, 09:56 AM
Is this a crime? The fact that he could go to the pen is inronical. Or something.

frankensooner
4/24/2007, 09:59 AM
That just goes to show you, the penis isn't always mightier than the sword.

C&CDean
4/24/2007, 10:00 AM
Why are there two threads about some dude hacking his dick off?

Howzit
4/24/2007, 10:01 AM
You can't have too many threads about self-weenisectomydom.