WTF?My friend is a molestor? [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

View Full Version : WTF?My friend is a molestor?

stoopified

4/13/2007, 12:33 AM

A friend andformer co-worker of mine,who I have known for 20 years plead guilty to child molestation charge and is now looking at10 years in prison.I am still coming to terms with this revelation.My friend who I will call Paul is someone I have known for 20 years,worked with,played football and softball withand we shared religious beliefs .I'm shocked and apalled beyond belief ,my head is still spinning.

Apparently there is no doubt as Paul confessed to invetigators,sharing all relevant facts,pleading guilty and not even trying to make a deal in exchange for the guilty plea.Those of us who known him amny years say he would be the last person you would suspect of such a heinous crime. I find myself in a state of ambivalence because as a Christian I want to reach out and help a fallen brother.On the other hand as a father of two young boys I can't help but be horrified by his self-admitted acts.

A man I have known and trusted for years and who helped me to find my way in the darkest depths of despair CANNOT be a molestor and yet he IS by his own admission.This causes me great pain and consternation as it among other things causes me to question my own judgement.All I can do is pray for all those who were hurt by his actions ,I don't know what else to do.

Soonerus

4/13/2007, 12:38 AM

The bottom line: always be careful...

Fraggle145

4/13/2007, 01:26 AM

This just goes to show everyone is capable of mistakes. As sad as it is. And everyone needs help. Whether you can forgive and give someone a second chance is up to you. The real question is how much does one mistep affect a lifetime of good deeds. IMO it is okay to be both horrified and to reach out. To be honest with him and tell him you are appalled rather than tossing him on the trash heap takes a lot of courage for you (to tell him, just to even approach him) and for him (to listen, knowing what he has done and realizing that he has hurt a lot of people [otherwise I dont think he would have plead guilty quite so easily]).

He probably doesnt have a friend in the world right now, maybe deservedly so... but how much has he been worth to you? is there something there worth salvaging? and do you think he can be salvaged? I think those are the questions that you have to answer for yourself. JMHO.

olevetonahill

4/13/2007, 02:02 AM

Got a ? for ya ?
Was he doing the Catholic thing or were these 14 /15 yr old girls ?
Makes a diff . In mho

Okla-homey

4/13/2007, 06:05 AM

Is he by chance that Navy guy arrested at Tinker AFB yesterday and charged on 20 counts of child molestation? That one made news up here in Tulsa.

RacerX

4/13/2007, 06:13 AM

http://www.csom.org/pubs/mythsfacts.html

achiro

4/13/2007, 07:25 AM

The real question is how much does one mistep affect a lifetime of good deeds.
Depends on what we are talking about. If some mother ****ers "misstep" was to take advantage of an innocent child in ANY sexual way for some sort of sick self gratification, I don't give a damn how "nice" he seemed, he deserves to burn in hell forever!

Your post confuses me, it almost seems as if you are trying to make him the victim. He is not the victim.

OU4LIFE

4/13/2007, 07:35 AM

this parallels an experience of my own from several years ago.

A guy I used to work with, played softball and basketball with, and hung out with him and his lovely wife all the time, turned out to be the Stillwater rapist from several years ago. They busted him cause he dropped his wallet at the scene of the last rape.

needless to say, we are ALL shocked that someone we were that close to turns out to be that guy.

it was pretty surreal.

jk the sooner fan

4/13/2007, 07:41 AM

crawfish

4/13/2007, 07:47 AM

if i had a nickel for every time i heard "i couldnt believe he would do something like that", i'd have a VERY big bag of nickels

people are capable of anything, and are normally very good at carrying on a normal life while their alter ego is out doing something to shock the whole neighborhood

I'M NOT!!! :mad:

;)

We were a bit shocked to be watching the news one night to see a guy from our class at church featured on the news for being arrested for trying to solicit a 10-year-old girl. The guy was quiet, but always nice enough. He got 15 years in prison; his poor wife and kids have never been the same.

Viking Kitten

4/13/2007, 07:57 AM

Stoopified, let me share with you something I learned from a similar experience. About 10 years ago, before I had kids of my own, my mom decided to help out a young single lady from her church who had two young daughters, ages 3 and 5. The woman had all kinds of problems, but decided she was going to go in the Army and change her life. Because her own family wouldn't help her with temporary custody of her daughters while she went to basic training, my mother agreed to take in her children. Another single man from their church started coming around to "help out with the girls" as well.

Just for ther record, I was single, in my 20s, had no kids, had no real emotional investment in the situation, but the guy coming around all the sudden raised a bunch of red flags for me which I brought to my family's attention, but he was the nice man from the church, so they decided to ignore me. "Hey. Whatever," I thought at the time. "Not my problem."

Anyway, the guy was a wonderful friend to my mom. Accompanied her on a church mission trip to Mexico. Helped her remodel her kitchen. She gave him a job in her tax firm and he was great with her clients. Everybody loved him.

So. Single mom-of-two doesn't realize the Army was actually going to make her work. She gets herself boted out by refusing to leave the sick bay because she has cramps or whatever it was she told them. But one thing she did learn from the experience is that farming one's kids out to near strangers is a hell of a lot easier than taking care of them yourself, so they still were spending a lot of time with my mother. What we didn't know is that they were also spending a lot of time, including overnight visits, with the nice man from the church.

Well. I'm sure you can guess the rest. At the same time he was being this wonderful, sympathetic, helpful friend to my mom, he was threatening to murder two toddlers if they told anyone what he was doing to them. This went on for about two years before yet another girl he was molesting from the church finally told somebody.

My point is that people who prey on children are sociopaths. The "nice sympathetic friend" thing is an act. It's the way they get close to people so they can take advantage of them to satifsfy their sick, twisted needs. It ain't real. But some of them are very, very good at it.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Let the friendship go and just be glad he didn't get to your kids. That's all you can really do.

I will also say that in our case, the guy was lucky he never made bail and is in prison to this day. Czar and I wanted to tear him limb from limb the day we found out.

Okla-homey

4/13/2007, 08:30 AM

Years ago, during my first operational assignment, my first B-52 A/C was a guy named Rodney Templeton. He was a major, a flight commander, and pretty impressive to a young lt. fresh outta flight school. He was from OKC so we kinda had a connection, me being a fellow Okie and all

He and his wife were pretty church-y and always offered to babysit kids for the young couples in the squadron so the young couples could have some quality time together w/o kiddoes.

You guessed it. Fortunately, we never took him up on the standing offer to babysit our daughter.

Anyhoo, years after we left that squadron, the bastage was arrested at WPAFB were he was doing a staff tour at Air Force Materiel Command.
Convicted by general court martial. Being an officer, he went to Leavenworth.

Back in about 1995, I was sent to the Army Command & Gen'l Staff College for an in-residence year. At Ft Leavenworth, they used to use military convicts for all kinda stuff -- grass cuttin' and leaf rakin' and such.

Guess who the then Major Homey saw leaning on the end of a rake that fall? You guessed it. Rodney J. Templeton, former AF officer from OKC. I don't believe in kicking a man when he's down so I said nothing, but I made sure our eyes met and he recognized the fact that I recognized him.

Here's the thing. I believe he's out of prison now. If you ever encounter a Rodney J. Templeton (perhaps in or around OKC) just know he was convicted of multiple counts of raping small children. He looks "normal," is articulate, educated and is perfectly able to blend into society. That ain't libel, That's a fact.

stoopified

4/13/2007, 09:00 AM

I would like to thankeveryone for sharing their advice/experiences with this darkest of subjects.It saddens me to know that this is not an uncommn situation. RACERX the link you provided was eye-opening indeed.As a former police officer I thought I had a handle on crimes of this nature but half of the myths discussed in the article are ones I still believed.

It IS deeply troubling to know this type of crime is SO prevalent in this great country.In the abstract it is easy to view Paul as a MONSTER but he isn't as his positive acts in the 20 years I have known him would attest.I know that he caused such horrific pain to the 14 yearold girl involved and her family and friends as well as his own.Inmy own heart I can't help thinking if I were GOD people like this would be struck down immediately,violently abd painfully.Since GOD Himself has not done so I,as a Christian can only conclude that is not the PLAN.I will offer my frienship and counsel and see where GOD leads.

4/13/2007, 09:36 AM

Man, this is a tough thread. If anyone harmed either of my kids, I would certainly not be Christian about it. It is difficult to even think about.

NormanPride

4/13/2007, 10:03 AM

These rank among the worst crimes a human can commit.

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 10:25 AM

If you ask them, they'll tell you they can't help it. They were born that way.

Taxman71

4/13/2007, 10:40 AM

This site can be very helpful, but certainly is not all-inclusive:

Sex Offender Search (http://docapp8.doc.state.ok.us/servlet/page?_pageid=426&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&id=regid)

Fraggle145

4/13/2007, 11:04 AM

Depends on what we are talking about. If some mother ****ers "misstep" was to take advantage of an innocent child in ANY sexual way for some sort of sick self gratification, I don't give a damn how "nice" he seemed, he deserves to burn in hell forever!

Your post confuses me, it almost seems as if you are trying to make him the victim. He is not the victim.

No he isnt, I was afraid that my language was too soft in that post. What I was trying to say was that he needs to decide for himself if he can live with this guy's **** up and if he wants to help him be a normal person like the rest of us. Basically, is he a salvageable human being or not...

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 11:06 AM

No he isnt, I was afraid that my language was too soft in that post. What I was trying to say was that he needs to decide for himself if he can live with this guy's **** up and if he wants to help him be a normal person like the rest of us. Basically, is he a salvageable human being or not...

Dude, they're born that way...hard-wired.

Fraggle145

4/13/2007, 11:08 AM

Dude, they're born that way...hard-wired.

I didnt say how you had to fix em' :eek:

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 11:14 AM

All sexual deviants claim to be "born that way."

Ike

4/13/2007, 11:21 AM

If you ask them, they'll tell you they can't help it. They were born that way.

See, I think that while they may be born (or rather hardwired to) thinking those things, that there is probably some degree of self control that can be taught to these people. No doubt that they will probably always be some kind of danger, but I think that if they want to be productive members of society that they can be. The thing is getting them to want it.

And because many of these types of people are sociopaths as well, telling whether or not they really want to control themselves and be a normal person gets complicated.

OU4LIFE

4/13/2007, 11:44 AM

I think his real name is 'Chester'.

royalfan5

4/13/2007, 11:52 AM

This thread reminds of the time last year when my Grandparents showed me a letter from the Pastor who married my parents, baptized me, and buried my Dad who was doing time for molestation. It was wildly disorienting to read the letter he sent them that talked about how good of a friend my Dad was to him. Apparently he is now is a private prison in some town in Oklahoma that starts with an S.

Mjcpr

4/13/2007, 11:54 AM

royalfan5

4/13/2007, 11:55 AM

Stringtown?
could be, I didn't quite catch what my Grandpa said. I thought it started with a Spear though.

royalfan5

4/13/2007, 11:56 AM

Stringtown?

And who's in jail for molestation, the pastor or your dad? :confused:
I think the phrase buried my Dad, indicates that it ain't him.

OU4LIFE

4/13/2007, 12:07 PM

I think the phrase buried my Dad, indicates that it ain't him.

don't be gettin all technical on Squeek now...she can't help it.

RacerX

4/13/2007, 12:28 PM

Sex offenders are typically at JHCC or JLCC.

Click on that link I provided.

Mjcpr

4/13/2007, 12:31 PM

I think the phrase buried my Dad, indicates that it ain't him.

...and buried my Dad who was doing time for molestation.

Sorry....it wasn't all that clear to me.

RacerX

4/13/2007, 12:39 PM

royalfan5

4/13/2007, 12:43 PM

Sayre, maybe.
that's it.

royalfan5

4/13/2007, 12:44 PM

...and buried my Dad who was doing time for molestation.

Sorry....it wasn't all that clear to me.
sorry, my grammar sucks, but you don't think that I would have been aware of my Dad being a child molester before seeing a letter from a Pastor to my Grandpa?

Mjcpr

4/13/2007, 12:48 PM

I have no idea, I'm sure a lot of family members of molestors are left in the dark about it.

But nevermind, I was just confused by your statement. I've got it now, thanks.

Hamhock

4/13/2007, 12:52 PM

All sexual deviants claim to be "born that way."

you don't think they are?

Mjcpr

4/13/2007, 12:53 PM

:pop:

Scott D

4/13/2007, 12:54 PM

quit hanging out in the same social circles as 1TC. ;)

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 12:59 PM

you don't think they are?

I don't think one way or the other. I just think deviants are ****ed up.

RacerX

4/13/2007, 01:00 PM

you don't think they are?

Some are. Some aren't.

stoopified

4/13/2007, 01:04 PM

you don't think they are?every time I hear that it makes me want to scream.GOD does not make ANYONE a molestor,rapist,murderer,or homosexua,etc..IF GOD clearly states that something is WRONG,why would HE then create them to be that which HE opposes?You have free will to choose.

Hamhock

4/13/2007, 01:10 PM

so, we're created perfect and the ability to never sin?

RacerX

4/13/2007, 01:13 PM

out.

yermom

4/13/2007, 01:16 PM

so if they choose that it's God's plan?

i mean God makes retards too, that's a pretty cruel plan...

personally, i think this kinda thing comes from ****ed up **** happening to people when they are kids, maybe even when they are too young to remember

although, if we are talking about a 14 year old girl, that's a bit different. i mean in another culture or time that might not even be a crime, heck there are maybe even a couple states that it isn't. assuming it was consentual, of course

RacerX

4/13/2007, 01:19 PM

most/all states don't have age of consent that low.

Hamhock

4/13/2007, 01:21 PM

Pa said Mary could get married at 14.

yermom

4/13/2007, 01:24 PM

i've seen a few lists looking around just now, this one still lists South Carolina at 14

http://www.coolnurse.com/consent.htm

i saw others that had more states that low, but i have no idea if any of them(or that one) are reputable

either way, that isn't some cross-wired thing, necessarily, it's a societal norm that is being ignored. they are plenty of girls that are pretty well developed at 14, i remember checking out 12 year olds (when i was like 9) that looked like they could have been 16 or 18

girls that age have functional plumbing, whether God or evolution did that, who knows, but the rules around it are man made

RacerX

4/13/2007, 01:32 PM

You are officially creeping me out.

Hamhock

4/13/2007, 01:32 PM

i have a quick reference card i keep in my wallet that still lists South Carolina at 14

i saw others that had more states that low, but i have no idea if any of them(or that one) are reputable

either way, that isn't some cross-wired thing, necessarily, it's a societal norm that is being ignored. they are plenty of girls that are pretty well developed at 14, i remember checking out 12 year olds (when i was like 9) that looked like they could have been 16 or 18

girls that age have functional plumbing

fixed ;)

bri

4/13/2007, 01:33 PM

Got a ? for ya ?
Was he doing the Catholic thing or were these 14 /15 yr old girls ?
Makes a diff . In mho

Remember, kids: Hetero child molestation is better than gay child molestation.

yermom

4/13/2007, 01:43 PM

You are officially creeping me out.

i'm just stating facts here

i'm not saying something is right, or should be legal

it's just that molesting a child is a bit different than statutory rape, especially if you are talking about writing someone off forever for being ****ed in the head

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 02:15 PM

Remember, kids: Hetero child molestation is better than gay child molestation.

Well, yeah. DOH.

bri

4/13/2007, 02:39 PM

Only on the Oval can you find out that there's good molestation and bad molestation...:rolleyes:

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 02:44 PM

Only on the Oval can you find out that there's good molestation and bad molestation...:rolleyes:

Says the Chairman of the "When does Emma Watson start her period?" fan club.

bri

4/13/2007, 02:45 PM

Um, yeah, not really. But whatever makes you feel clever, man.

C&CDean

4/13/2007, 02:52 PM

When does Dan Radcliffe start his period?

Vaevictis

4/13/2007, 02:59 PM

I have no idea, I'm sure a lot of family members of molestors are left in the dark about it.

Yeah, but usually, it ain't the kids that are left in the dark about it.

A lot of pedophiles prefer to prey on their own kids because apparently in a lot of jurisdictions, repeatedly raping your own kids has a lesser punishment than repeatedly raping someone elses. It's called the "incest exception."

Hamhock

4/13/2007, 03:22 PM

Says the Chairman of the "When does Emma Watson start her period?" fan club.

When does Dan Radcliffe start his period?

just so you know, SAS, i didn't know who either of these people are, but i used Google instead of asking the SO.

:texan:

sanantoniosooner

4/13/2007, 03:25 PM

just so you know, SAS, i didn't know who either of these people are, but i used Google instead of asking the SO.

:texan:
I'm proud of you dude.:)

jeremy885

4/13/2007, 03:28 PM

Says the Chairman of the "When does Emma Watson start her period?" fan club.

I thought it was "When do the Full House Twins become legal" fan club?

yermom

4/13/2007, 03:31 PM

that was years ago

and they are skanky now :D

jeremy885

4/13/2007, 03:42 PM

This site can be very helpful, but certainly is not all-inclusive:

Sex Offender Search (http://docapp8.doc.state.ok.us/servlet/page?_pageid=426&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&id=regid)

I went to HS with this guy :eek:

http://docapp8.doc.state.ok.us/servlet/page?_pageid=229&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&offender_id=3342&city=Cache#begin&imageindex=2

Czar Soonerov

4/13/2007, 03:43 PM

Thanks Google! (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&gbv=2&q=clhid+molestation&btnG=Search)

tulsaoilerfan

4/13/2007, 09:53 PM

yermom

4/13/2007, 10:27 PM

he seemed like such a nice boy

SteelClip49

4/14/2007, 01:53 AM

CATHOLIC THING???????????

Do not bring one's denomination in this. I am Catholic and do not appreciate you labeling something like this with Catholic in it.

Frozen Sooner

4/14/2007, 01:57 AM

This is about to take a really ugly turn.