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sanantoniosooner
4/9/2007, 01:07 PM
http://www.maxitmag.com/game-on/game-articles/man-crushes-testical-with-wii-controller.html

A Leeds accident and emergency unit reported that a man was admitted to hospital in the early hours of april the 1st with severe injuries to his testical after playing with his Nintendo Wii console in the nude. Doctors reported that he had apparently jerked his Wii so hard he accidently crushed a testicle by jamming the controller against a loose testical. Doctors advised him not play with his Wii again until the swelling went down.

jk the sooner fan
4/9/2007, 01:10 PM
jerked his Wii so hard he accidently crushed a testicle


and that right there is the problem

OUDoc
4/9/2007, 01:12 PM
...by jamming the controller against a loose testicle.
Keep those things tightened, people. I can't stress that enough.

Mjcpr
4/9/2007, 01:17 PM
Keep those things tightened, people. I can't stress that enough.

That reminds me, it's just about time for my annual nut tightening.

You got any openings I can squeeze into. *cough*




God, that's a horrible post. :D

sooner_born_1960
4/9/2007, 01:19 PM
Keep those things tightened, people. I can't stress that enough.
That's about all I use my torque wrench for these days.

OUDoc
4/9/2007, 01:20 PM
You got any openings I can squeeze into. *cough*

What? Like a pencil sharpener or something?

OKC Sooner
4/9/2007, 01:41 PM
That's about all I use my torque wrench for these days.
Lisa: Maybe it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Lisa: Yeah. That's it, it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: You sure?
Lisa: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Lisa: [sighs] If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
Vinny Gambini: Well, in that case, how can you be sure THAT's accurate?
Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate!
[She rips a page out of a magazine and hands it to him]
Lisa: Here's the certificate of validation.
Vinny Gambini: Dead on balls accurate?
Lisa: It's an industry term.
Vinny Gambini: [tosses paper away] I guess the ****ing thing is broken.

OKC Sooner
4/9/2007, 01:44 PM
That's about all I use my torque wrench for these days.
Lisa: Maybe it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Lisa: Yeah. That's it, it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: You sure?
Lisa: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Lisa: [sighs] If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
Vinny Gambini: Well, in that case, how can you be sure THAT's accurate?
Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the nut, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate!
[She rips a page out of a magazine and hands it to him]
Lisa: Here's the certificate of validation.
Vinny Gambini: Dead on balls accurate?
Lisa: It's an industry term.
Vinny Gambini: [tosses paper away] I guess the ****ing thing is broken.

Widescreen
4/9/2007, 02:02 PM
Doctors advised him not play with his Wii again until the swelling went down.
Plus it can make you go blind.

NormanPride
4/9/2007, 02:05 PM
Lisa: Maybe it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Lisa: Yeah. That's it, it's broken.
Vinny Gambini: You sure?
Lisa: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
etc...

That story was much better the second time through. Kind of like the Ryan's Steakhouse story.

proud gonzo
4/9/2007, 02:45 PM
http://www.kottke.org/plus/misc/images/wii-shirt.gif

achiro
4/9/2007, 03:15 PM
Good to know I'm not the only one that plays video games nekkid.

C&CDean
4/9/2007, 03:40 PM
Okay. I'll be the first. What the **** is a "Wii?" I've got 5 kids and have never heard of it.

sanantoniosooner
4/9/2007, 03:42 PM
Okay. I'll be the first. What the **** is a "Wii?" I've got 5 kids and have never heard of it.
It would be a freak'n crime for you to click the link and see wouldn't it:D

BigRedJed
4/9/2007, 03:49 PM
Here, Dean. This explains it. KSFW (kinda safe for work).

Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljZOHnZNaBc)
Google Video (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2964751562925463883)

C&CDean
4/9/2007, 03:53 PM
youtube and video links are blocked at work.

In 20 words or less, WTF is a Wii?

sanantoniosooner
4/9/2007, 03:54 PM
youtube and video links are blocked at work.

In 20 words or less, WTF is a Wii?
It's a piece of hardware that allows you to simulate snake chasing without actually leaving your living room.

C&CDean
4/9/2007, 03:58 PM
It's a piece of hardware that allows you to simulate snake chasing without actually leaving your living room.

I clicked the link. What I saw was a little remote control. For lifeless drones who like to play with little remote controlly thingies I guess. Same kind of lifeless drones who watch craphole TV all night, right? Right.

BigRedJed
4/9/2007, 04:00 PM
youtube and video links are blocked at work.

In 20 words or less, WTF is a Wii?
Happy little new Nintendo video game console.
Ballcrusher.

sanantoniosooner
4/9/2007, 04:01 PM
Video game console.

You don't actually have to play one to get the drift. I understand it without playing.

NormanPride
4/9/2007, 04:01 PM
It's a videogame system that uses that little remote to play the games. It's motion sensitive, so if you want to swing a tennis racquet, you'd swing the controller. Some people have been so vigorous with their mimicking of natural motions that they've thrown the damn thing into their TVs. Look up wiihaveaproblem.com

Osce0la
4/9/2007, 04:03 PM
Norman Pride beat me to it...