Fellow parents...HELP PLEASE!

[OU-HSV]

My wife and I appreciate any help. My son just turned 2 years old a couple of weeks ago. We took his pacifier away from him. Ever since (excluding a couple of times) it has been pure hell trying to get my son to stay in bed for naptime or for night bedtime. He thinks it's a game. I'm usually the one home with him at night, so I'm really getting tired of dealing w/this issue. I'll lay him down in bed and no quicker than I shut his bedroom door does he run to the door and crack it open and start looking into our living room. And eventually he walks into the living room. I've tried "timeout", we've tried just playing along w/his game and every time he gets out of bed, we pick him up and put him right back into bed. He's not getting the point. The best thing that's worked to this point is after battling him for an hour to an hour and a half, I make him sit in one spot...I don't let him play with toys or books, I don't let him watch the t.v. and so on. So pretty much I place him in timeout until he just can't handle it anymore and he starts falling asleep right there. Then I take him to bed and he'll usually go to sleep at that point. However, my wife doesn't like the way I handle it. She called the nurse a few days ago and the nurse insists that we must continue picking him up and placing him right back to bed. I'm insisting that..that doesn't work for sh*t. Please give us tips or ideas that have worked for you all.
TIA

[slickdawg]

I followed Dean's method - throw them all away, and roughed it out for 3-4 days, then all was well. A guy at work will put his back in bed 40 times a night if necessary.

[yermom]

NyQuil

[JohnnyMack]

Benadryl.

[Fraggle145]

Wine ;)

[OUHOMER]

well, i guess beating him is out? Call the Nanny

[Vaevictis]

Handcuffs.

[1stTimeCaller]

teach him to log onto here. He wouldn't be the only :cry: on here.

[C&CDean]

Whoop. That. Azz.

Seriously, who the hell is the boss there?

And before you go talking any trashish, I'm babysitting my 20 month old grandson as we speak, typing this from the back porch on my laptop and Cingular aircard connection while the power is out at the house.

[Fraggle145]

well, i guess beating him is out? Call the Nanny

says who? ;)

:cry:

[OKC Sooner]

velcro sheets and velcro pajamas

YWIA

[OU-HSV]

Whoop. That. Azz.

Seriously, who the hell is the boss there?

And before you go talking any trashish, I'm babysitting my 20 month old grandson as we speak, typing this from the back porch on my laptop and Cingular aircard connection while the power is out at the house.
Spankings don't effect this kid. They've become pointless.

Slickdawg, that's crazy..40 times, well I'm sure I've done that a lot lately.

[Okla-homey]

Between the ages of one and four, we held our daughter and rocked her to sleep. She turned out okay.

just saying.

[Oldnslo]

I don't remember caring so much about when the pacifier went away.

Kid's 2. You have any memories from when you're 2? Maybe a softer line would be okay.

[Osce0la]

My son can usually go to bed/nap without one now. He's 19 months :D

[Okla-homey]

I would also like to point out, humans, unique among all the mammals, have this THING about their young going to sleep on their own.

Think about that.

Of course, we're also the only mammals who use toilet paper, but that's beside the point.;)

[OU-HSV]

Between the ages of one and four, we held our daughter and rocked her to sleep. She turned out okay.

just saying.
He's never sat still long enough to really be rocked to sleep, other than when he was newborn. But baby's/toddlers seem to change. Might be worth a shot. Thanks

[OU-HSV]

I don't remember caring so much about when the pacifier went away.

Kid's 2. You have any memories from when you're 2? Maybe a softer line would be okay.
We just might resort to the pacifier again

[RacerX]

Took him out the crib too soon.

[OU-HSV]

Took him out the crib too soon.
U seriously think so? He just seemed like he was getting too big for his crib and could climb out/fall out at anytime. We didn't want to risk it anymore. He's been in his big boy bed for a while now anyways.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

you might try cutting the tip off of the pacifier and give it to him..and little by little cut it back further until there is nothing left..my 2 year old was addicted to hers and we did this...was off of it and napping without it really quick

[SoonerJack]

we had one pacifier kid and one no pacifier kid. the no pacifier kid had a rough couple of weeks when we moved him out of the crib. He wanted to get in bed with us...which was a no-no. Eventually he got over it and would stay in bed.

The pacifier kid we gradually weaned off of it around 2.5 years by allowing him to have it only during naps, not at night (or vice versa). Eventually he was pacifier free. Then my wife stashed them in her keepsake box.

[MamaMia]

Minimize the starch at dinner. I know its impossible to cut the sugar out completely but try to limit it to special occasions. Only allow natural sugars like what you have in fruits and keep that at bay after mid afternoon.

Give him energetic play activities during the day. Shorten his nap times. 30 to 45 minutes before bed time start the quiet time. No loud music or television; that goes for you too Daddy. ;) Dim and turn off the lights in the house that you don't need. Quiet Time Magnetic Play Books are great for quiet time and there are dozens of them available on line at about 8.00 to 12.00 each.

Most importantly, have a set time and a routine.
1)...warm vanilla milk
2)...brush teeth and wash face
3)...say the prayers, if you do that and
4)...read to them for 10 to 15 minutes.

Sleep will be welcomed. :)

[olevetonahill]

Minimize the starch at dinner. I know its impossible to cut the sugar out completely but try to limit it to special occasions. Only allow natural sugars like what you have in fruits and keep that at bay after mid afternoon.

Give him energetic play activities during the day. Shorten his nap times. 30 to 45 minutes before bed time start the quiet time. No loud music or television; that goes for you too Daddy. ;) Dim and turn off the lights in the house that you don't need. Quiet Time Magnetic Play Books are great for quiet time and there are dozens of them available on line at about 8.00 to 12.00 each.

Most importantly, have a set time and a routine.
1)...warm vanilla milk
2)...brush teeth and wash face
3)...say the prayers, if you do that and
4)...read to them for 10 to 15 minutes.

Sleep will be welcomed. :)

Mom hit it
Read to the little heathen . If that dont work then spank that azz . if that dont work repeat step 2 only harder . till it does work .
Just sayin

[Soonrboy]

have a set schedule and routine for bed...let him have the paci, but only at bedtime. It's a calming thing for him. He'll eventually won't need it...mine traded his paci for a cool pillow

[GrapevineSooner]

And whatever you do, don't give them their binky back.

They'll see that as some kind of a 'reward'.

[Flagstaffsooner]

NATTY!

[yermom]

Minimize the starch at dinner. I know its impossible to cut the sugar out completely but try to limit it to special occasions. Only allow natural sugars like what you have in fruits and keep that at bay after mid afternoon.

Give him energetic play activities during the day. Shorten his nap times. 30 to 45 minutes before bed time start the quiet time. No loud music or television; that goes for you too Daddy. ;) Dim and turn off the lights in the house that you don't need. Quiet Time Magnetic Play Books are great for quiet time and there are dozens of them available on line at about 8.00 to 12.00 each.

Most importantly, have a set time and a routine.
1)...warm vanilla milk
2)...brush teeth and wash face
3)...say the prayers, if you do that and
4)...read to them for 10 to 15 minutes.

Sleep will be welcomed. :)


i wish you were my mom :O

EDIT: ok, i don't really mean that, i love my mom and honorary mom. and i think they did pretty well :D

[GottaHavePride]

I was about to say - if spankings have no effect, you aren't doing it right.

[olevetonahill]

NATTY!
Aw a man after My heart !

[whatsername]

Most importantly, have a set time and a routine.
1)...warm vanilla milk
2)...brush teeth and wash face
3)...say the prayers, if you do that and
4)...read to them for 10 to 15 minutes.

Sleep will be welcomed. :)
Listen to Mama, she knows what she's talking about!

I never made my son nap and I never really gave him a set bedtime... he'd sleep when he needed sleep!

But, when he was three and I enrolled him in preschool, it was time for a set bedtime.

The above routine worked REALLY well. Do the same thing every night, at the exact same time.

[OU-HSV]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'll let my wife know what has worked for some of you and see what route she wants to go.

[OU-HSV]

Handcuffs.
I said my son....not my wife! ;)

[Okla-homey]

One other thing, we were concerned that our daughter would be taking her pacifier to first grade with her, but she put it down herself, cold turkey, when she was about 3 1/2.

[OU-HSV]

One other thing, we were concerned that our daughter would be taking her pacifier to first grade with her, but she put it down herself, cold turkey, when she was about 3 1/2.
That's awesome. I'm just kind of hesitant to give his pacifier back to him after a couple of weeks off of it now. Geeze, I'm so mixed up

[Okla-homey]

That's awesome. I'm just kind of hesitant to give his pacifier back to him after a couple of weeks off of it now. Geeze, I'm so mixed up

Parenting isn't easy, but usually I would counsel that you should just use your instincts. It's tough for anyone who doesn't live in your home to tell you what you should do. That said, we took a pretty laissez-faire approach to these early childhood issues and let our child settle these issues herself. Just don't get too worked-up over this stuff.

Later, there'll be plenty of stuff worth getting worked-up over.

Good luck and God bless.

P.S. Best parenting advice I ever got: "They won't always remember what you told them, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel."

[85Sooner]

get him to pick 1 book that he wants and read it to him while he lays in bed. He will get comfy and it doesn't take too long.

[OKC-SLC]

Of course, we're also the only mammals who use toilet paper, but that's beside the point.;)
speak for yourself.

[OU-HSV]

Parenting isn't easy, but usually I would counsel that you should just use your instincts. It's tough for anyone who doesn't live in your home to tell you what you should do. That said, we took a pretty laissez-faire approach to these early childhood issues and let our child settle these issues herself. Just don't get too worked-up over this stuff.

Later, there'll be plenty of stuff worth getting worked-up over.

Good luck and God bless.

P.S. Best parenting advice I ever got: "They won't always remember what you told them, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel."
Oh, we'll use our instincts for sure..but I was curious what input you all would have. Thanks for your help homey.

[OU-HSV]

get him to pick 1 book that he wants and read it to him while he lays in bed. He will get comfy and it doesn't take too long.
You know what...we have never read to him while he is in bed, we always read his books to him in the living room. I just might try this tonight, thanks.

[OU-HSV]

speak for yourself.
:pop:

[sanantoniosooner]

Mom gave the best advice.

I'm iffy on Homey's advice(rare thing). Parenting by instinct is good if you've got good instincts and an understanding of child development.

Often parents are governed by their heart and not their instincts. Watch some of the nanny shows sometime.

And I am totally down with spanking, but I know what you mean when you say it doesn't work that well with a particular child. I can already tell that spanking will build up a serious rebellion in my youngest just by the way he responds to it. I have better success handling things differently with him, with the threat and occasional spanking just to prove it's not a bluff. :D

[HskrGrl]

My now 6 year old was horrible about going to bed after we took him out of his crib. We put a baby gate up in his doorway. We also took as many toys out of his room as we could. The others we put up on shelves and in the toybox (which we taped shut). At least this way when he continued to get out of bed he couldn't play with anything and he couldn't keep coming out into the living room over and over again, which is what drove my husband and I insane. A couple times he ended up falling asleep on the floor in front of the gate. Eventunally he just stayed in bed realizing that it was pointless to get up. We tried the whole spanking thing but it didn't work either. Neither did picking him up and putting him right back in bed without saying a word to him.

And if all else fails there is always this...

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f3/jessisfarks/girlducttape.jpg

[stoops the eternal pimp]

one reason our daughter had problems taking naps was that she never in her bedroom except for naps during the day. in fact she seemed as if the bedroom was just a place of punishment and that naps were punishment.

so mrs step and i began to spend time with her in her room during the day. if we read to her, we took her to her room to read. or if she wanted to play we would play some in the room. that seemed to help some as well, as naps werent "punishment" anymore.

[C&CDean]

Homey's advice may work with a female child. And only special female children. I'm thinking some of Mrs. Homey's gin found it's way into the kid's dinner drink.

And if a kid needs it, spanking most assuredly does work. But it's gotta be a for real spanking, not one of the 21st Century liberal-wristed wimpathon dealios. When I spanked my boys (and it was very rare that it happened simply because they knew the threat was more real than real) there was no doubt somebody got their little popo ripped. Bad enough that they were very sure they didn't ever want it ripped again.

All the kids have grown up alright.

[Hamhock]

are you spanking the kid with your hand?

i'd try a big wooden spoon. my youngest is two and still in a crib.

[Okla-homey]

all's I'm saying is getting all spun-up over this early childhood stuff can do long-term injury to the child's psyche.

Now, once they get older and are capable of deliberate defiance...
whoop that a$$!

[crawfish]

we had one pacifier kid and one no pacifier kid. the no pacifier kid had a rough couple of weeks when we moved him out of the crib. He wanted to get in bed with us...which was a no-no. Eventually he got over it and would stay in bed.

The pacifier kid we gradually weaned off of it around 2.5 years by allowing him to have it only during naps, not at night (or vice versa). Eventually he was pacifier free. Then my wife stashed them in her keepsake box.

This worked for us.

[Hamhock]

all's I'm saying is getting all spun-up over this early childhood stuff can do long-term injury to the child's psyche.

Now, once they get older and are capable of deliberate defiance...
whoop that a$$!


as the parent of a 2 year old I can assure you, they "are capable of deliberate defiance".

[1stTimeCaller]

can you drop kids off at a trainer like you can a lab or a pointer?

[OU-HSV]

can you drop kids off at a trainer like you can a lab or a pointer?
heh, yeah I guess that's where that "supernanny" comes in handy

[sanantoniosooner]

Well, the nanny shows do several things IMO.

1-You see what DOESN'T work with a lot of these parents. That's good info even if a lot of it is intuitive.

2-They offer suggestions to UNDO the screw up you've already done.

3-My kids, up to this point, have been very good kids. But watching how other kids behave and discussing it helps us cover certain topics without having to go through the conflict that brings up the topic in the first place.

4-It emphasizes the "united front" that the parents need to have in dealing with issues. Sometimes the spouse doesn't see it your way, and they can see how important it is not to undermine you.

[TMcGee86]

Does the door have a lock on it? If so, you could always reverse the handle and lock the door.

And if that doesnt work you could always electrify the door knob.


We got lucky I guess as our little girl never had any trouble once she was old enough for a bigger bed. She passes out and that's all she wrote.

It's when she was a baby that was the nightmare. She never slept through the night until after 13mos.

I became a very hard sleeper after about 6 mos. ;)

[Okla-homey]

as the parent of a 2 year old I can assure you, they "are capable of deliberate defiance".

So if your two-year old steals a peice of candy at thr Wally world, should we indict it for a crime? ;)

Age of responsibility people.:D

[sanantoniosooner]

So if your two-year old steals a peice of candy at thr Wally world, should we indict it for a crime? ;)

Age of responsibility people.:D
What the law does and what I do as a parent aren't even remotely related.

[Hamhock]

So if your two-year old steals a peice of candy at thr Wally world, should we indict it for a crime? ;)

Age of responsibility people.:D


no, you shouldn't, but that doesn't mean the 2 year old didn't know it was doing wrong and shouldn't be punished.

[Okla-homey]

no, you shouldn't, but that doesn't mean the 2 year old didn't know it was doing wrong and shouldn't be punished.

Personally, I don't think a two y/o can "know" anything. But that's just me.

[OU-HSV]

Does the door have a lock on it? If so, you could always reverse the handle and lock the door.

And if that doesnt work you could always electrify the door knob.


We got lucky I guess as our little girl never had any trouble once she was old enough for a bigger bed. She passes out and that's all she wrote.

It's when she was a baby that was the nightmare. She never slept through the night until after 13mos.

I became a very hard sleeper after about 6 mos. ;)
No lock on the door and no eltricuting my son either :D
Maybe I'll put a gate at his doorway though. Of course he may try to scale the gate!
My wife got him to go to sleep pretty easily last night. He only got out of bed about 3 times and then passed out the last time she put him back in bed. So maybe things are getting better. Tonight will be a good test since I'll be the one putting him to bed.

[OU-HSV]

Well, the nanny shows do several things IMO.

1-You see what DOESN'T work with a lot of these parents. That's good info even if a lot of it is intuitive.

2-They offer suggestions to UNDO the screw up you've already done.

3-My kids, up to this point, have been very good kids. But watching how other kids behave and discussing it helps us cover certain topics without having to go through the conflict that brings up the topic in the first place.

4-It emphasizes the "united front" that the parents need to have in dealing with issues. Sometimes the spouse doesn't see it your way, and they can see how important it is not to undermine you.
Agreed, I think the Nanny shows are good for parents all the way around. I've watched it and felt really good/blessed about the way my son acts. And on that same note I felt really bad for what some of those parents are having to deal with. But IMO a lot of those parents are causing their own problems by not disciplining their kids enough, or in the right way. So it's good they've contacted the show and are on the right path.

[Viking Kitten]

Let me chime in with a little piece of unsolicited advice for those with new babies on the board. What you can learn from this thread is that it is best to avoid "binkie" issues all together.

When I was doing all the new parental reading, I discovered that a baby's need for "non-nutritive sucking" really begins to diminish at six months. Up until six months, we offered both of our kids a pacifier freely anytime they cried. At six months, they are a little more mobile and can grasp the pacifier themselves if it is placed within reach. After a couple of weeks they kind of forget about it, and you just stop offering it. After a month or so it just becomes a non-issue with zero "I WANT MY BINKIE!!!" drama.

So there you have my PSA for the day. You're welcome.

[Mjcpr]

Tell us more about this "non-nutritive sucking" please.

[Tear Down This Wall]

Here's my take...

We've got a 14 month old boy. He's getting harder to put to bed. But, we have as much resolve for him to go to bed as he does for wanted to stay awake.

First, he plays along and pretends to be rocked to sleep. Once my wife or I put him down in his crib, he rolls over, stands up, and whines at us. We turn on the musical turtle again, leave, and shut the door.

He never cries for more than five minutes. He's fighting sleep anyway. Us being in the room just gives him more motivation to fight sleep. We want sleep to win.

Second, on the subject of spanking, there's a time and a place...and a method. Now, my mom and dad were partially raised on farms and were the first in their generations to live in cities. They spanked us for damn near anything we did.

I'm not saying that's right or wrong. Neither me nor any of my siblings ended up in jail or as Democrats, so something my parents did was right. However, I'm not for over-spanking.

Example: I'm not going to spank my kid for not sleeping unless he does something stupid, like hit or kick (when he's old enough). One of my dad's favorite lines was "Quit crying or I'll give you something to really cry about!" I'm not a big fan of that.

However, currently our boy climbs on the fireplace. For well over a month now we've taken him down and told him no. This weekend, my wife began to flick his hand when telling him no. I'm not a big fan of that either.

What I am a big fan of is a paddle or a wooden spoon (my mom's weapon of choice back in the day). Up to this point, I've thought J.J. was too young to understand spanking. But, at 14 months, he's becoming more aware of the world around him.

We love him and don't want him monkeying around on the fireplace. Even though we have it padded, he could still fall off of it and hurt himself. So, we've come to the conclusion that he'll get the wooden spoon this week if he continues his fireplace climbing expeditions.

Hopefully, it will work as well as the leaving him to cry himself to sleep bit.

I love being a parent.

[Viking Kitten]

Tell us more about this "non-nutritive sucking" please.

Start a smut thread Pat. It ain't happening in this one. :D

[sanantoniosooner]

rocking kids to sleep is a bad habit to start. A lot of them get where they refuse to sleep without rocking them. Once in a while, that's one thing.

[Pricetag]

Wooden spoons are great discipline tools, especially the flat, spatula-type ones. They can deliver a ton of sting, but lack the mass to cause any real hurt.

[OCUDad]

Start a smut thread Pat. Has he ever done anything else?

[Hamhock]

Personally, I don't think a two y/o can "know" anything. But that's just me.


exactly how long has it been since you've had a two y/o in the house?

i think you've forgotten parts of it. kinda like women eventually forget the pains of labor, they only remember the good stuff..

[Okla-homey]

exactly how long has it been since you've had a two y/o in the house?

i think you've forgotten parts of it. kinda like women eventually forget the pains of labor, they only remember the good stuff..

nephews and nieces of that age are here often, for days at a time at holidays. They're just human larvae. they know not what they do.

[sanantoniosooner]

That said, we took a pretty laissez-faire approach to these early childhood issues and let our child settle these issues herself.
definately some nsfw

deleated by me

video of mom still breastfeeding child at 8 years old on youtube.

[Hamhock]

definately some nsfw

deleated by me

video of mom still breastfeeding child at 8 years old on youtube.


wow...probably home school freaks...

[sanantoniosooner]

wow...probably home school freaks...
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Extraordinary

If you look on this page you will find it quickly.

It is slightly NSFW but in a more PBS type of way.

[soonerbrat]

i guess I was lucky..when my kids got tired they said "i'm ready to go to bed" and went as early as they could talk...before they could talk, i could tell when they were sleepy and they'd just go to bed when I put them to bed - especially my daughter. she usually sacked out about 7pm or earlier until she was about 8..now she's 14 and I've never had fights with her about going to bed.

[Viking Kitten]

i guess I was lucky..when my kids got tired they said "i'm ready to go to bed" and went as early as they could talk...before they could talk, i could tell when they were sleepy and they'd just go to bed when I put them to bed - especially my daughter. she usually sacked out about 7pm or earlier until she was about 8..now she's 14 and I've never had fights with her about going to bed.

Dang. That is lucky. Our son has been fighting bedtime literally since the day he was born. To this day (he's almost 8 now) he's a night owl, doesn't matter what time you get him up in the morning. He'd go to bed at 2 a.m. if we let him. He gets that from his momma though. :O

[OU-HSV]

i guess I was lucky..when my kids got tired they said "i'm ready to go to bed" and went as early as they could talk...before they could talk, i could tell when they were sleepy and they'd just go to bed when I put them to bed - especially my daughter. she usually sacked out about 7pm or earlier until she was about 8..now she's 14 and I've never had fights with her about going to bed.
Oh, our son was the same way. As soon as we said "bed time" he used to run to his room, lay in bed and would fall right to sleep. It's just once he hit age 2 a couple weeks ago, he's changed those ways.

[TMcGee86]

Let me chime in with a little piece of unsolicited advice for those with new babies on the board. What you can learn from this thread is that it is best to avoid "binkie" issues all together.

When I was doing all the new parental reading, I discovered that a baby's need for "non-nutritive sucking" really begins to diminish at six months. Up until six months, we offered both of our kids a pacifier freely anytime they cried. At six months, they are a little more mobile and can grasp the pacifier themselves if it is placed within reach. After a couple of weeks they kind of forget about it, and you just stop offering it. After a month or so it just becomes a non-issue with zero "I WANT MY BINKIE!!!" drama.

So there you have my PSA for the day. You're welcome.

Basically exactly what we did as well. And we never had a pacifier withdrawal either. So good advice, imho.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Dang. That is lucky. Our son has been fighting bedtime literally since the day he was born. To this day (he's almost 8 now) he's a night owl, doesn't matter what time you get him up in the morning. He'd go to bed at 2 a.m. if we let him. He gets that from his momma though. :OMaybe if you'd quit taking him to the bars in the wee hours of the night, he'd get a good night's rest.

Oh wait, you meant your son, not Czar.

[OklahomaRed]

Put him to bed. Turn out all the lights. Put on a wolfman mask. When he gets up and peeks through the door jump out a yelling and screaming and throwing snot everywhere. Grab him up and growl, "If you get out of bed one more time I'm going to eat you!" Wait 12 more years and set up his shrink sessions with a quack pyschiatrist. That's what I would do! :D