grocery store etiquette

[bellefay1]

did you know....

the self-checkout line is designed for people capable of basic motor skills and thinking. if you do not know how to push a screen, put a bar code over a piece of glass and place the item in a bag...mabye you should stick to the senior citizen, check writing, penny counting, coupon lane buddy.

[Hamhock]

dean is going to bane you

[tbl]

Reason #1 I always go to the cashier line if there is anybody in self checkout. The cashier, however inept, will get at least two people through for every one that goes through the self checkout. It's amazing to watch... and extremely frustrating if you've taken the gamble to get behind one of "them".

[jacru]

Then you young farts stay out of my old-fogie lane. :D

[bellefay1]

dean is going to bane you

i'm sorry...

i just spent 20 minutes in line behind driving miss daisy asking for a price check on a bundle of kale in the self-checkout line

[C&CDean]

did you know....

the self-checkout line is designed for people capable of basic motor skills and thinking. if you do not know how to push a screen, put a bar code over a piece of glass and place the item in a bag...mabye you should stick to the senior citizen, check writing, penny counting, coupon lane buddy.

Did you know...

That sentences always start with a capital letter? And that only single men or fags grocery shop? And that only someone with advanced experience as a grocery bag boy would have such in-depth knowledge of how a grocery store check-out system works?

Now STFU and carry my wife's bags out to the car.

[JohnnyMack]

The worst ever is watching this event when the local wind-pimps have forecast snow/ice/sleet/armageddon and all the yahoos scramble to the grocery store in an effort to stave off the certain death that 36 hours stuck in one's house is sure to bring forth.

[frankensooner]

Now Dean, for all we know, he might be a single feller buying beer and frozen pizzas. ;)

[C&CDean]

Now Dean, for all we know, he might be a single feller buying beer and frozen pizzas. ;)

Yeah, buying one $1.99 frozen pizza and a six-pack of Natty - with a credit card.

[sooneron]

It always ****es me off at Lowe's when I am doing the self checkout thing and I take one item (that is large) and place it back in the cart. The screen then gets angry and tells me to put my **** back in the bagging area. Duh, there is no room in the bagging area thanks to the 25lb bag of charcoal!!! Then, the stupid thing locks up.

[C&CDean]

It always ****es me off at Lowe's when I am doing the self checkout thing and I take one item (that is large) and place it back in the cart. The screen then gets angry and tells me to put my **** back in the bagging area. Duh, there is no room in the bagging area thanks to the 25lb bag of charcoal!!! Then, the stupid thing locks up.

Just quit your damn crying and get in the old fart's line with me.

[sooneron]

I still grocery shop as my hours are more flexible than the Mrs., btw. I used to grocery shop when I was single too. Ya see, I didn't NEED a woman to do basic **** FOR me that any retard can do.

[sooneron]

Just quit your damn crying and get in the old fart's line with me.
Is that the contractor account line? I'm so confused. All I want are some hickory chunks and charcoal. Maybe another pkg of blades.

[bellefay1]

The worst ever is watching this event when the local wind-pimps have forecast snow/ice/sleet/armageddon and all the yahoos scramble to the grocery store in an effort to stave off the certain death that 36 hours stuck in one's house is sure to bring forth.

it might be worth it to pool together some money and buy out all the milk and bread in a few grocery stores before another storm of the century...just to see the reaction on people's faces.

if a blizzard or whatever comes, who sits around and eats bread while drinking milk? a case of beer, mabye some meat products and a few bags of charcoal would get me much further then a loaf of white bread and some 2%.

[tbl]

Did you know...

That sentences always start with a capital letter? And that only single men or fags grocery shop? And that only someone with advanced experience as a grocery bag boy would have such in-depth knowledge of how a grocery store check-out system works?

Now STFU and carry my wife's bags out to the car.
As a man that doesn't do his own laundry, doesn't vacuum, clean, dust, polish, or anything else around the house, I have taken on the responsibility to go grocery shopping for the family. That's my contribution (besides bringing home the $$$). It gives me a little time away and a lot fo times I'll take my daughter so it gives us some alone time while giving my wife a break. Plus, I can pick out the foods I like. See I'm the better cook in the family, plus I like to eat healthy. When the wife isn't on board with cooking healthy (or "good" for that matter), you gotta do what you gotta do.

[C&CDean]

I still grocery shop as my hours are more flexible than the Mrs., btw. I used to grocery shop when I was single too. Ya see, I didn't NEED a woman to do basic **** FOR me that any retard can do.

No, you grocery shop cause you're your Mrs's bitch. You ain't fooling me.

[sooneron]

No, you grocery shop cause you're your Mrs's bitch. You ain't fooling me.
I know where my bread is buttered or whatever you wanna call it.

[C&CDean]

When the wife isn't on board with cooking healthy (or "good" for that matter), you gotta do what you gotta do.

So, divorce is against your religion?

[bellefay1]

Did you know...

That sentences always start with a capital letter? And that only single men or fags grocery shop? And that only someone with advanced experience as a grocery bag boy would have such in-depth knowledge of how a grocery store check-out system works?

Now STFU and carry my wife's bags out to the car.

well i fall into the single man group. plenty of eye candy in the grocery store as well.

never worked in a grocery store growing up, but i am capable of using a self-checkout lane properly...so i've got that going for me.

[tbl]

Yeah, buying one $1.99 frozen pizza and a six-pack of Natty - with a credit card.
Please tell me you're not one of the people that still writes checks... or worse yet, one of check writers that waits until the entire bill is totaled before they even start writing (which makes up at least 93% of the check writing community).

I scan the card while they're still scanning all the groceries, then as soon as they're done, receipt prints and I'm out. No waiting on change. No taking 2 minutes to write a check. Just done. Plus I earn miles for every purchase I make, then pay everything off at the end of the month, 0 interest.

[C&CDean]

well i fall into the single man group. plenty of eye candy in the grocery store as well.

never worked in a grocery store growing up, but i am capable of using a self-checkout lane properly...so i've got that going for me.

Cool. There's always a job for guys who can check themselves out.

[tbl]

So, divorce is against your religion?
Unless she's sleeping with another man while cooking my bad meal, then yes. ;)

[tbl]

plenty of eye candy in the grocery store as well.

Very rare... VERY rare.

[sooneron]

I carry a roll.

[SicEmBaylor]

What burns my *** about the self-check out is that (besides that I'm fundamentally against them) people will use the damned thing with entire carts full of ****.

It seems to me that the self check out is suppose to be for "express" type purchasing.

[IronSooner]

It seems to me that the self check out is suppose to be for "express" type purchasing.

Chiefly because of the sort of people this thread began bashing.

[sooneron]

What burns my *** about the self-check out is that (besides that I'm fundamentally against them) people will use the damned thing with entire carts full of ****.

It seems to me that the self check out is suppose to be for "express" type purchasing.
I never figured you for a DIY type. I pictured you perusing Us Weekly/Redbook whilst in line or something. :D

[Hamhock]

What burns my *** about the self-check out is that (besides that I'm fundamentally against them) people will use the damned thing with entire carts full of ****.

It seems to me that the self check out is suppose to be for "express" type purchasing.


it's not stated as such any where near the machine. i use the self checkout EVERY time. even if i have 2 carts full.

[bellefay1]

Very rare... VERY rare.

hmmm, i'm sure it goes with where you live. i live in a younger part of metro-atlanta with a college close by. you have to avoid wed. b/c of old people day, but stopping by after work to get a 6 pack or some beef, there's never a shortage of young ladies.

[sooneron]

it's not stated as such any where near the machine. i use the self checkout EVERY time. even if i have 2 carts full.
That's weird. Why sack all of that **** yourself?

[tbl]

it's not stated as such any where near the machine. i use the self checkout EVERY time. even if i have 2 carts full.
The self checkouts with only two places for groceries are meant for express, while those with the big area to put multiple bags are for the big shoppers. A lot of them will set off the "please wait for attendant" alarm if you remove bags while still scanning items, that way it discourages people from doing a whole cart full.

[sooneron]

The self checkouts with only two places for groceries are meant for express, while those with the big area to put multiple bags are for the big shoppers. A lot of them will set off the "please wait for attendant" alarm if you remove bags while still scanning items, that way it discourages people from doing a whole cart full.
Yes, but that is flawed for ****ed off types like myself that are buying charcoal.

[bellefay1]

What burns my *** about the self-check out is that (besides that I'm fundamentally against them) people will use the damned thing with entire carts full of ****.

It seems to me that the self check out is suppose to be for "express" type purchasing.

add the fact that people will go into the line, not knowing how to use the machine, with a cart full of fruit and veggies where it gets real techincal and you have to push the "produce" button.

you'd think jack bauer is having to defuse a bomb or something when you see these people's faces while using the machine.

[SicEmBaylor]

I never figured you for a DIY type. I pictured you perusing Us Weekly/Redbook whilst in line or something. :D
I wouldn't be caught dead reading pedestrian trash.

Mostly, I stand there looking haughty and indignant that I'm forced to stand in line and buy my groceries without having a personal assistant to do it for me.

[SicEmBaylor]

it's not stated as such any where near the machine. i use the self checkout EVERY time. even if i have 2 carts full.

I think it's sort of implied. I also think you are what is wrong with America.

[tbl]

ZING!

[Hamhock]

That's weird. Why sack all of that **** yourself?


the kids love helping.

[Hamhock]

The self checkouts with only two places for groceries are meant for express, while those with the big area to put multiple bags are for the big shoppers. A lot of them will set off the "please wait for attendant" alarm if you remove bags while still scanning items, that way it discourages people from doing a whole cart full.


tell them to put up signs. otherwise, i'm taking my two carts any where i damn well please.

[SicEmBaylor]

the kids love helping.
That's weird. I never enjoyed helping my parents do anything.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

People who can't use the self checkout need to go to jail.

[Hamhock]

I think it's sort of implied. I also think you are what is wrong with America.


implied's ***

i am america.

:texan:

[bellefay1]

it's not stated as such any where near the machine. i use the self checkout EVERY time. even if i have 2 carts full.

at kroger, they have signs hanging before you get in line that say only take up to 15 items...

and the machines are next to the express lane with clerks.

do you go into a walter sobchak style rant if anyone says anything to you when you go into the self-checkout lane with two carts?

[Hamhock]

at kroger, they have signs hanging before you get in line that say only take up to 15 items...

and the machines are next to the express lane with clerks.

do you go into a walter sobchak style rant if anyone says anything to you when you go into the self-checkout lane with two carts?


i have a concealed carry permit.

[bellefay1]

i have a concealed carry permit.

are you "implying" you would shoot someone over something as trivial as asking you to take two carts of grocery out of the self-checkout line.

[Hamhock]

are you "implying" you would shoot someone over something as trivial as asking you to take two carts of grocery out of the self-checkout line.


not implying

i've done it at least 7 times.

[SicEmBaylor]

not implying

i've done it at least 7 times.

If you're ever in front of me at the grocery store you best get all out of my way and my grill before I pop a cap in you mutha fudgin' ***.

[jeremy885]

I think it's sort of implied. I also think you are what is wrong with America.


It's not implied. At the Krogers I use, they have an express self check out line and a regular one. I'd rather bag my own groceries and know where everything is located, than trust a unionized check out worker who won't double bag a six pack of bottled beer or other heavy items.

If you only have a few items, WTF are you doing at a grocery store? If it's because you don't want to pay convience store prices, then don't bitch because you don't get the convience store service (quick in and out).

[Oldnslo]

self-checkout lines are teh succ. If I wanted to work in a grocery store, I'd do it. But, you know what? I don't. So, check out my groceries and bag 'em, beyotch!

[SicEmBaylor]

self-checkout lines are teh succ. If I wanted to work in a grocery store, I'd do it. But, you know what? I don't. So, check out my groceries and bag 'em, beyotch!
I agree with you 100% in spirit.

[soonerboomer93]

self-checkout lines are teh succ. If I wanted to work in a grocery store, I'd do it. But, you know what? I don't. So, check out my groceries and bag 'em, beyotch!

I agree

and if i'm gonna self check out, then pay me or give me a freakin discount

[tbl]

at kroger, they have signs hanging before you get in line that say only take up to 15 items...

and the machines are next to the express lane with clerks.

do you go into a walter sobchak style rant if anyone says anything to you when you go into the self-checkout lane with two carts?
That's the store I had in mind when I originally posted that. They have two of them at my store that have multiple bag holders on a round roller "thing", that enables you to load up a bunch of groceries, while the others have two bins for express items.

[SoonerGirl06]

This thread is soooo entertaining I'm thinking about cancelling my cable subscription.


:pop:

[picasso]

I can never find the bar code on the box of XXL condoms.

it's embarrassing.

[tbl]

No crap. I thought about that as I typed my multiple messages within said thread. Each time I was typing, I realized how blah life has become.

[tbl]

I did notice today at the store that the KY was locked up behind the glass with the pregnancy tests. I can understand preggo tests, b/c they're kind of expensive, plus there's really no embarrassment to asking to buy one. However, to go hunt down a Kroger employee, then take them to the locked glass case, and ask for the jumbo tub of Astroglide just seems like it would be uncomfortable, especially for women.

"Uh excuse me, I need to get some KY"
"Oh... case of the dry snatch, huh?"
"Eff you, Kroger guy"

[SoonerGirl06]

I did notice today at the store that the KY was locked up behind the glass with the pregnancy tests. I can understand preggo tests, b/c they're kind of expensive, plus there's really no embarrassment to asking to buy one. However, to go hunt down a Kroger employee, then take them to the locked glass case, and ask for the jumbo tub of Astroglide just seems like it would be uncomfortable, especially for women.

"Uh excuse me, I need to get some KY"
"Oh... case of the dry snatch, huh?"
"Eff you, Kroger guy"


Now this is REALLY getting interesting.... Can't wait to see how the guys respond to this one.

Yep.... TWC is definitely gonna lose me as a customer... :D


:pop:

[1stTimeCaller]

as long as they don't keep the butter flavored Crisco locked behind the glass.

[tbl]

I don't think I'd have much of a problem asking, but I might b/c I'm the type of guy that typically makes small talk with people that are helping me. Small talk on asking for the Silk-E Smooth KY would just be bad for everybody involved.

[SicEmBaylor]

I was at the ghetto HEB one night in line to check out and this guy is in front of me with a pregnancy test. He's obviously a Baylor student and the guy is sweating profusely through his clothes. He's white as a ghost and his hands are shaking. He's obviously drawing a lot of attention to himself and everyone seems to notice him.

So he gets up there and he's checking out and the clerk says, "it'll be okay man just relax..." Then he says thanks...well on his way out everyone starts yelling "good luck!" and applauding (not sure why).

He looked appalled.

[H8HOGS]

And that only single men or fags grocery shop?

Or men who would rather do it and buy what is needed instead of their wife spending twice as much everytime she goes on a bunch of crap that isn't needed or ever used.

[soonerboomer93]

oh, that's gonna get a real positive response from Dean

[noleamite]

I am normaly a self checkout guru and get irritated when someone can't scan a freakin item and bag it. But the Self Checkout God's frowned on me and now I have a little more patience.

I sat in line at Wal-Mart for 10 damn minutes trying to scan some freaking Edy's Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Everyone behind me was looking at me like I was the village idiot. I refused to let this freaking ice cream beat me though. I scanned at every freaking angle know to mankind ...still nothing. Right hand swipe..left hand swipe...nothing. Even used the old cashier trick of cleaning of the frost off the bar code still nothing.

Finally gave up and hit the self-check out Easy Button (cashier assist) Never in my adult life have I felt so defeated. People gave me evil looks and jeered at me and shifted to the old fart lines. All I could do is hold my head down in guilt!

Screw you checkout God's :(

[soonersweetie]

Reading this thread was hilarious!!

I do all the grocery shopping in my family. Mainly because I have WAY more patience than the hubby and he would prefer being tortured by something in one of Jack Bauer's silver briefcases than me sending him to the store.

I spend way less than my hubby if I do the shopping. I plan the week's meals and cook mostly from scratch. It takes extra effort and sometimes I get tired of it, but I also know that it's better for us and the kids get a real meal instead of some heated up cardboard at a fast food restaurant. Plus then we have leftovers for lunch the next day and save money by not eating out for lunch everyday.

I do find it pathetic that the majority of the population can't manage to use the self check out lane (and these people have driver's licenses!!) That is just wrong.

[Frozen Sooner]

I can never find the bar code on the box of XXL condoms.

it's embarrassing.

I guess because you don't buy 'em very often.

When the box is facing you, front right corner on the bottom of the box.

[noleamite]

Zing

[H8HOGS]

I guess because you don't buy 'em very often.

When the box is facing you, front right corner on the bottom of the box.

When masturbating a condom is not required..:twinkies:

[SicEmBaylor]

When masturbating a condom is not required..:twinkies:

Really? :confused:

[tommieharris91]

at kroger, they have signs hanging before you get in line that say only take up to 15 items...

and the machines are next to the express lane with clerks.

do you go into a walter sobchak style rant if anyone says anything to you when you go into the self-checkout lane with two carts?

Just make sure you drink out of the 1/2 and 1/2 carton, then take the time to write a check for it.

[tommieharris91]

Really? :confused:
:pop:

[picasso]

I guess because you don't buy 'em very often.

When the box is facing you, front right corner on the bottom of the box.
yeah. on Trojans and other Nancy Boy rubbers. I use Magnum Force, ribbed. they come in the plain brown paper wrapper so as to not scare old ladies and high school girls when checking out.

[jacru]

When masturbating a condom is not required..:twinkies:
Hey! you never know where that hand might have been. ;)

[SicEmBaylor]

Hey! you never know where that hand might have been. ;)
Heh, I hate to attempt to derail this thread again but...

When I met President Clinton in D.C. he came around shaking hands and talking and after he had moved on a friend of mine turned to me and said, "we better go wash our hands now because we don't know where its been."

Well, this was after the Starr Report so I said, "We know EXACTLY where his hands have been which is why we have to go wash them..."

[tommieharris91]

I did not inhale...

:confused: :eek:

[jacru]

He didn't inhale. He SUCKED!

[MamaMia]

I still write checks. I right a personal check for the things I need for the house and a corporate check for the things I need for the business. I have carbons which I happen to like for my record keeping system. I'm a fast check writer though. I fill out all but the amount and my signature when I make my shopping list. :)

In the beginning I was a little slow at the self check out, but after a few times I got the hang of it. At first, every trip to the market was a new challenge. I'm up produce now and even know a couple of numbers for things the aren't on the computer screen, like blood oranges and Anaheim peppers.

I like the self check out because I can bag my own groceries the way I want. I have categories. For example, I do not like checkers putting my chicken or anything else next to my fresh fruit and veggies. I like my bread, eggs, meats and cleaning supplies bagged separately. I want my canned goods to be together. That way I don't have to gather them up before I wash the lids; same goes for the milk and juice cartons. And anyway, who wants some checker who's been handling dirty money and God only knows what else touching all over your stuff?

[H8HOGS]

I still write checks. I right a personal check for the things I need for the house and a corporate check for the things I need for the business. I have carbons which I happen to like for my record keeping system. I'm a fast check writer though. I fill out all but the amount and my signature when I make my shopping list.
\
On the same trip through the line? The P'i$$es me off more than anything. You get the families that shop in a group and pay multiple times in the same check out.
There should be a rule one trip through equals one payment. You want to divide the bill go back through the line again.

[Hamhock]

\
On the same trip through the line? The P'i$$es me off more than anything. You get the families that shop in a group and pay multiple times in the same check out.
There should be a rule one trip through equals one payment. You want to divide the bill go back through the line again.


that's me!! i use cash only and i have separate envelopes for each category.

not only do i drag 2 carts and 3 kids to the self checkout, but i also turn it into at least 3 separate transactions.

suck it single guy just wanting a six pack and some chips!!!!

:texan:

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I was at the ghetto HEB one night in line to check out and this guy is in front of me with a pregnancy test. He's obviously a Baylor student and the guy is sweating profusely through his clothes. He's white as a ghost and his hands are shaking. He's obviously drawing a lot of attention to himself and everyone seems to notice him.

So he gets up there and he's checking out and the clerk says, "it'll be okay man just relax..." Then he says thanks...well on his way out everyone starts yelling "good luck!" and applauding (not sure why).

He looked appalled.Do you live in the movies?

[C&CDean]

Or men who would rather do it and buy what is needed instead of their wife spending twice as much everytime she goes on a bunch of crap that isn't needed or ever used.

Sounds to me like you need to educate your wife. Or trade her *** in on a more frugal model.

The only time in my life I've tried one of those self-service things (and the last time I've been in a grocery store) was this past football season when the wife and I were buying sodas at Albertson's for the tailgate. There's probably a thread about it somewhere. I don't remember much about it - cause I'm pretty good at blocking out homosexual life experience, but I'm pretty sure it was not - in any way - a positive, enriching, or semi-religious experience.

[tbl]

I spend way less than my hubby if I do the shopping.
This applies to me. The times my wife does go she can get it done much quicker than I can. Mainly b/c I'm looking through the nutrition facts on everything to find stuff that fits with my health routine. That and I always miss stuff and have to go back and find it, though I'm getting better at that.

[SoonerJack]

Did you know...

That sentences always start with a capital letter? And that only single men or fags grocery shop?

You mean to tell me, Dean, that you let your wife pick out the STEAKS? I'm sorry, but that's just not going to happen in my house.

I love grocery shopping...because I LUUUV to eat. :twinkies: