A Date

[SicEmBaylor]

So my roommate is dragging me on an improptu "beer date" with some girl in half an hour.

I don't really want to go but I'm going to be "bold" tonight.
Wish me luck!

[GottaHavePride]

Don't talk about what's her face. Don't order a Zima. And don't act like a pretentious republican. ;)

[proud gonzo]

and don't wear that hat. ;)



no really, i'm serious dude. don't do it.

[Mongo]

stuff a sock to make it look like you have a penis. :D

[BoogercountySooner]

stuff a sock to make it look like you have a penis. :D

He could suffocate!:D

[olevetonahill]

No way in hell its gonna be a real girl . does he twin blow ups ?

[Ike]

this won't end well.

[tbl]

For him? No

For us? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

[olevetonahill]

this won't end well.
with sicem ? hell no . he will start crying an piszin an moaning about ex , the new blow up doll will finally knock the hell out of him .

[Mongo]

i hold hope for the lad. I bet he nails her, yet goes home empty. Gets a call from the ex, and then questions the 1 night stand.

[Ike]

i hold hope for the lad. I bet he nails her, yet goes home empty. Gets a call from the ex, and then questions the 1 night stand.

possible...but I have a hunch he wouldn't even have the balls to go through with it if his friends paid for him to have a $1000 hooker. I've given up hope for him.

[BajaOklahoma]

We need to know if the girl is a Baylor girl or a Waco girl. That makes a huge difference in what is going to happen.

[Mongo]

We need to know if the girl is a Baylor girl or a Waco girl. That makes a huge difference in what is going to happen.

Not really. SicEm has shown us that a poon from BU, and 2 poons at your doorstep have no bearing on where his torpedo lands.

Desperation does magical, yet strange things, to the males' anatomy.

[olevetonahill]

I agree with Ike
the boy is about as worthless as tits on a boar hog .

[Ike]

Not really. SicEm has shown us that a poon from BU, and 2 poons at your doorstep have no bearing on where his torpedo lands.

Desperation does magical, yet strange things, to the males' anatomy.
But what does desperation do to SicEm's anatomy?


scratch that...I have a feeling that the answer may disgust me.

[olevetonahill]

Good thinkin, Ike

[soonersweetie]

well, he hasn't posted any update on the date, so we can hold hope that it's going well. At least it's a good sign that it might not have ended yet.

[Mongo]

But what does desperation do to SicEm's anatomy?


scratch that...I have a feeling that the answer may disgust me.

I'll answer.

Total desperation+internet shame, may in fact =1st usuable, yet worthy hardenation(erection is such a scientific word).

Desperation has its effects on many a populous. Aggies=sex with animals. Whorns=sex with the same sex. ESPN=group sex with Notre Dame and SUC.

[Ike]

well, he hasn't posted any update on the date, so we can hold hope that it's going well. At least it's a good sign that it might not have ended yet.

don't get your hopes up. A friend dragged him to it, which means that she has probably already made him cry and his friend is trying to get him to drink it out of him.


Smart of his friend to make sure that SicEm had supervision on this one. But really, it just means that someone will be there to pick up the pieces at the end.

[OCUDad]

You "glass half empty" types do SicEm an injustice. Think positive. Maybe the chick will turn out to be a lesbian and thus interested in SicEm.

[olevetonahill]

So Mongo your saying hes desperate enough to **** a Zima bottle ?

[OCUDad]

The neck of a Zima bottle is WAY too wide.

[proud gonzo]

anybody remember the scene from sideways where Paul Giamatti gets drunk at dinner with Virginia Madsen (and the other two) and just ends up drunk-dialing his ex and looking like a pathetic loser?

yeah...

[Ike]

anybody remember the scene from sideways where Paul Giamatti gets drunk at dinner with Virginia Madsen (and the other two) and just ends up drunk-dialing his ex and looking like a pathetic loser?

yeah...

It could also end like the "Nikki" scene in Swingers. SicEm will be all smoove at the bar and wind up walking away with digits....only to fill up her answering machine before the sun rises.

[Mongo]

It could also end like the "Nikki" scene in Swingers. SicEm will be all smoove at the bar and wind up walking away with digits....only to fill up her answering machine before the sun rises.

It wouldnt get to that point. He'd be overly excited and use and ruin the napkin when he got home

[soonerboomer93]

update needed

[jk the sooner fan]

hopefully they didnt have a flat tire or dead battery before they went out.....they're probably still out there trying to fix it.....

[Rogue]

Is a "beer date" like a coffee date at night?

Good luck SicEm.

[Skysooner]

We need to know if the girl is a Baylor girl or a Waco girl. That makes a huge difference in what is going to happen.

I don't know about Waco girls, but Baylor girls are generally known as freaks. It must be that Baptist camp thing working on them. Falls Creek was a great place to get laid back in the day.

[RADsooner]

Falls Creek was a great place to get laid back in the day.

uummmmm yeah..............falls creek :D


still afraid im goin to hell ya know. :P

[LoyalFan]

Sic,

Remember! This time, NO groveling!
And offering her an under-the-table pedicure and a nose hair trim is out too!

(Well, it never worked for me.)

LF

[SicEmBaylor]

Well....
We got there and she was waiting with another friend. We got a table and made small talk. She was nice and attractive, but I figured she was well out of my league. Anyway, they only stayed for about 20 minutes and then took off to Scruffy's I think.

My other roommate then showed up and the three of us got a table. Roommate 1 isn't single but he's the President of his frat and according to him a "master of hook ups." He pledged, "SicEm, I will get you laid this semester guranteed."

I was looking for a girl at this place to buy a beer and strike up a convo with but everyone already seemed to be with someone. I did see one girl walk in who was definitely within the "SicEm range of possibilities" but I lost her in the crowd and didn't see her again.

Next Thursday though we're going to this new bar/club in Waco that has become insanely popular. Evidently, from everything we've heard, if you can't get laid going to this place then there's absolutely no hope. It was described as "shooting fish in a barrel."

So that's next Thursday.

The end result is that I went to bed alone.

[LoyalFan]

THIS JUST IN!!! (Future Headline Department)

" Waco juvie becomes first person to miss a fish in a barrel!..Evar!!!
Attributes failure to, uh, "faulty weapon."

LF

[tommieharris91]

Well....
We got there and she was waiting with another friend. We got a table and made small talk. She was nice and attractive, but I figured she was well out of my league.

I stopped reading here.

[King Crimson]

this semester? good lord.

[GottaHavePride]

Yeah. Here's the key:

NO girl is "out of your league". The most attractive girls are the ones that never get asked out because guys are giant pussies that are too scared to ask them out. In fact, sometimes it's easier to ask out an insanely attractive chick because no one else ever does and she starts to wonder if something's wrong with her. I've seen it happen.

[SicEmBaylor]

this semester? good lord.
http://static.flickr.com/79/224393836_879926f4b6.jpg

[jk the sooner fan]

Yeah. Here's the key:

NO girl is "out of your league". The most attractive girls are the ones that never get asked out because guys are giant pussies that are too scared to ask them out. In fact, sometimes it's easier to ask out an insanely attractive chick because no one else ever does and she starts to wonder if something's wrong with her. I've seen it happen.

i'd have to agree with GHP, this happens in the movies ALL the time

no seriously........problem one, if you've got the "master of hook ups" promising to get you laid within this semester.....well, thats just problem one

there are two types of girls in my opinion.......the shallow ones, and the deeper ones....both kinds have the pretty/drop dead gorgeous variety

if you're looking for a party girl just to bust a nutt, you can do it i'm sure...but i really dont think thats your style

get out, just start talking to women, what have you got to lose? make them feel like you're interested in what they have to say (even though you really arent)

[SicEmBaylor]

i'd have to agree with GHP, this happens in the movies ALL the time

no seriously........problem one, if you've got the "master of hook ups" promising to get you laid within this semester.....well, thats just problem one

there are two types of girls in my opinion.......the shallow ones, and the deeper ones....both kinds have the pretty/drop dead gorgeous variety

if you're looking for a party girl just to bust a nutt, you can do it i'm sure...but i really dont think thats your style

get out, just start talking to women, what have you got to lose? make them feel like you're interested in what they have to say (even though you really arent)

You're right that the bust a nutt in one night type thing isn't my style. I'd like to go for the type of girl that I can actually get something going with. I have my type and I guess that could probably be described as the "cute little sister" type look. I know looking for a relationship type situation isn't the point of going bar hopping, but if I'm going to do this then I think I ought to at least do it right.

[crawfish]

I married far out of my league. If you want to play in the big leagues, you gotta take a swing at the tough pitches. :)

I did get laughed at and humiliated more than once when playing up. At least I've got some stories to tell...

[proud gonzo]

You're right that the bust a nutt in one night type thing isn't my style. I'd like to go for the type of girl that I can actually get something going with. I have my type and I guess that could probably be described as the "cute little sister" type look. I know looking for a relationship type situation isn't the point of going bar hopping, but if I'm going to do this then I think I ought to at least do it right.ok, your previous obsession doesn't really fit that "cute little sister" description, so obviously it's silly to limit your searching to only those type girls.

likewise, the whole "league" concept is retarded. A drop-dead gorgeous chick might look "out of your league" but if she'll sleep with anything that moves, that would include you...unless you think "she's out of my league" and bore her to death..

and that bold part at the end there--i don't even know what you're talking about.

[Octavian]

little sister type look?

[SicEmBaylor]

Yeah, you know the normal run of the mill girl next door look I guess is another way of putting it.

I don't really like drop dead gorgeous; I like "cute."

This place I'm suppose to go to on Thursday has been described as a "bump and grind" dance club.:confused:

[jk the sooner fan]

looks dont always equate to "freak in bed"

[GottaHavePride]

i'd have to agree with GHP, this happens in the movies ALL the time

Heh. I'm talking real life. I'm not saying it happens all the time, but it does happen. It's like crawfish said - if you never swing you won't even get to first base, let alone the game-winning grand slam homer. ;)

[jk the sooner fan]

dude, i was agreeing with you

i just added some humor to it

[SicEmBaylor]

I gotta find out of if Melo will come over here before Thursday and show me how to "bump and grind" dance. ;)

[Flagstaffsooner]

We must start the "Get Sicem's weenir wet by May project". This may be greater than the Manhatten Project.

[SicEmBaylor]

We must start the "Get Sicem's weenir wet by May project". This may be greater than the Manhatten Project.

It could great possibly involve just as many geeks.

[Octavian]

you're still thinking too much.


Just go out and have fun...and project some confidence even if you have to fake it. If you're coming off like you're about to get your *** handed to you by a schoolyard bully, you're pretty much sunk.


and c'mon....please say you've heard of bump n grind. I dunno how anyone your age could've missed that phrase.

[SicEmBaylor]

you're still thinking too much.


Just go out and have fun...and project some confidence even if you have to fake it. If you're coming off like you're about to get your *** handed to you by a schoolyard bully, you're pretty much sunk.


and c'mon....please say you've heard of bump n grind. I dunno how anyone your age could've missed that phrase.

I have. I just like to play coy. ;)

[Octavian]

ahh....well, dont use that tactic on the date. ;)

[royalfan5]

Maybe you should just pursue celibacy and focus on your school and career. You've already ****ed up your education once because of a woman, why even take the risk of doing that again until you get stuff squared away.

[jk the sooner fan]

if it hasnt already been said

LOSE THE DAMN SWEATY TORN UP BALLCAP

and the cigars.......MOST girls your age dont find them attractive

[SicEmBaylor]

if it hasnt already been said

LOSE THE DAMN SWEATY TORN UP BALLCAP

and the cigars.......MOST girls your age dont find them attractive

I look better with the hat. I don't smoke cigars around women.

[Ike]

It could great possibly involve just as many geeks.


Geeks get laid more often than you do though, so it couldn't hurt.

[GottaHavePride]

I look better with the hat.

Not to chicks you don't. They're thinking "ew, grody, I wonder what ELSE he never washes".

[jk the sooner fan]

Not to chicks you don't. They're thinking "ew, grody, I wonder what ELSE he never washes".

zactly

and normally those hats are supposed to be "lucky hats"...hence why you never wash them

you arent getting lucky, so its not working...

[proud gonzo]

argh grody hats

[SicEmBaylor]

Well, I routinely wash the hat. Tis true though that it has some years behind it now...

[Oldnslo]

1) As others have said, there ain't no such thing as leagues. No woman on Earth is out of my league. I simply have chosen to take myself off of the field for the sake of my marriage... to a former homecoming queen who I met in law school.

2) lose the hat. Failing to take advice from women who are trying to make you attractive is muy estupido. Just start thinking that you're better looking without the damn thing. 90% of good looks is attitude: confidence and a smile, baby.

yeesh. kids these days.

[SicEmBaylor]

Well, the thing about the hat is that I'm balding..........bad.....
I mean REALLY bad balding. I've got the worst hair of anyone you have ever seen.

That's the reason I started wearing the hat all the time.

[royalfan5]

Well, the thing about the hat is that I'm balding..........bad.....
I mean REALLY bad balding. I've got the worst hair of anyone you have ever seen.

That's the reason I started wearing the hat all the time.
Be a man and just bic it all off.

[SicEmBaylor]

Be a man and just bic it all off.
I'd look like a 12 year old cancer patient.

[royalfan5]

I'd look like a 12 year old cancer patient.
you don't think you can play that for sympathy?

[Oldnslo]

Balding? So f'n what? I'm balding and it doesn't keep me from being a damn good looking man. Michael Jordan was balding, too. Y'think he has trouble looking in the mirror and seeing a good looking dude? Bruce Willis? Balding and gets more *** than Hertz.

I'm telling you: it's attitude.

Guys don't have to be blazingly hot. All we have to be is interesting OR funny OR wealthy OR cute/quirky OR whatever. The only thing that DOESN'T work is "loserific", the role you've adopted.

[SicEmBaylor]

you don't think you can play that for sympathy?
Well, that's what I've been doing with the whole "my ex left me and married another guy" thing. :D

Sympathy only goes so far.

[GottaHavePride]

Well, that's what I've been doing with the whole "my ex left me and married another guy" thing. :D

Sympathy only goes so far.

Yeah, using that makes chicks think "he's still not over that other bitch" - you'll get sympathy, but no action. You're on IR as long as you keep bringing that up.

Oh, and most people losing their hair will look better by losing the hat and getting a good haircut.

ALSO: wearing the hat all the time creates a lot of friction on your scalp. Friction that helps to wear off what hair you do have left. in other words, THE HAT IS MAKING YOU LOOK MORE BALDING THAN YOU REALLY ARE.

[OKC Sooner]

The quickest way to get laid is to lower your standards. :D

YWIA

[Ike]

At the very least, get a nice clean hat. One that makes you look like something other than a giant ******.

[royalfan5]

At the very least, get a nice clean hat. One that makes you look like something other than a giant ******.
Like a plaid fedora?

[Sooner_Bob]

Maybe not shave it all off, but a nice high and tight cut would do wonders for your look. Beats an old ballcap anyday.

[SicEmBaylor]

Yeah, I get my hair cut pretty short. The weird thing is that my hair looks thicker when it's cut shorter.

[jk the sooner fan]

i would say that more than half the men in the world are balding, and we're all getting laid.....poor excuse

[SicEmBaylor]

Well, if all of this advice actually succeeds then you all will be the first to know. :D

[jk the sooner fan]

dude - go spend some money at a hair salon, get some cute gal, or some gay barber to give you advice on what to do with your hair....tell them your concerns.....let them work their magic....stay out of sportscuts

[OUinFLA]

Well, if all of this advice actually succeeds then you all will be the first to know. :D


yet another statement that doesn't surprise me.


don't anyone hold their breath, I'd hate to lose all you hillbillies.

[proud gonzo]

Yeah, I get my hair cut pretty short. The weird thing is that my hair looks thicker when it's cut shorter.yeah, because that's what you're supposed to do when you have thinning hair.

and as far as thinking girls actually care about your thinning hair--who gives a crap? dude, Sean Connery is bald AND 77 years old and he's still sexy.

and if you think you're getting sympathy about your ex leaving you and marrying another guy TWICE, you're wrong. They may be saying "oh, that's so sad" but they're really thinking "good lord, and he's still talking about her? maybe that's why she dumped him." do NOT talk about your ex to chicks you're trying to hook up with. seriously. as soon as you breach that subject, you have scored yourself a big fat "hell no" from the girl.

listen to the men here when they tell you it's about attitude. you're not getting by on sympathy, you're making yourself look pathetic and that is not a turn on.

[SoonerGirl06]

Definitely lose the hat... especially if you're going out to meet women.. not girls... women.

If you're concerned with looking too young and resembling a cancer patient then grow a gotee. Guys who have short hair and/or are sorta balding look hot with a gotee.

Drop the sympathy thing to try and get a woman. That's a huge turn off. Act interested in her and what she's saying... oh and be respectful. That really gets our attention and is a complete turn on.

[SoonerGirl06]

and as far as thinking girls actually care about your thinning hair--who gives a crap? dude, Sean Connery is bald AND 77 years old and he's still sexy.


Yes he is! Yum! Yum!

[proud gonzo]

If you're concerned with looking too young and resembling a cancer patient then grow a gotee. Guys who have short hair and/or are sorta balding look hot with a gotee.
in sicem's case, i disagree. I don't think facial hair would suit him. but that's just my opinion.

also, attitude will make you seem more mature.

[SoonerGirl06]

in sicem's case, i disagree. I don't think facial hair would suit him. but that's just my opinion.

also, attitude will make you seem more mature.

Attitude helps... definitely... as long as they're not going overboard. A guy with too much attitude can be such a turn off.

Actually I think a guy who has confidence is hotter than a guy with attitude.

IMO confidence and attitude are two totally different things...

[SicEmBaylor]

in sicem's case, i disagree. I don't think facial hair would suit him. but that's just my opinion.

also, attitude will make you seem more mature.

Other than being a bit whiney at times, I'm probably way the hell too mature to be honest. If anything I need to loosen up and lower the age that I act. I'm much too stuffy and aloof as it is.

I could use some good advice on how to initiate something with a girl. My thinking is that I just walk right up and say, "hey I saw you walk in and was wondering if I could buy you a beer." That seems the most obvious to me.

[proud gonzo]

yeah, honest is good. way better than cheesy. but if you ask her expecting her to say no, she's going to say no.


seriously, if THIS guy:
http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/kevin-james981.jpg

can marry THIS chick:
http://www.serienjunkies.de/Seriendarsteller/Steffiana-De-La-Cruz/steffiana-de-la-cruz.jpg
nothing is impossible.

[SoonerGirl06]

Other than being a bit whiney at times, I'm probably way the hell too mature to be honest. If anything I need to loosen up and lower the age that I act. I'm much too stuffy and aloof as it is.

I could use some good advice on how to initiate something with a girl. My thinking is that I just walk right up and say, "hey I saw you walk in and was wondering if I could buy you a beer." That seems the most obvious to me.


Introduce yourself first... "Hi! My name is Sicem and I saw you walk in. Would you mind if I bought you a drink?" And then go from there.

The worst thing you could ever do is try to change who you are for a woman. If she's not going to accept you for who and what you are then she's not the one for you.

[OUinFLA]

she's not the one for you.


which so far has applied to all of them but a blow-up doll

http://www.iansterling.com/pictures/photo_album_pictures/political_pics/formatted_to_fit/Harper_with_blow_up_doll.jpg

[SoonerGirl06]

which so far has applied to all of them but a blow-up doll

http://www.iansterling.com/pictures/photo_album_pictures/political_pics/formatted_to_fit/Harper_with_blow_up_doll.jpg


Beggars can't be choosers... :D

Sorry Sicem... I couldn't resist.

[SicEmBaylor]

I'd hit it.

[tommieharris91]

I'd hit it.

If it's with the blow up doll, then well, you really should start listening to what the girls said above, summon your inner James Bond/Charlie Sheen, and find the purdy wimmen in Waco and start talking to them so you can put your meat into a non-psycho woman consistently.

If you're saying this about the chic proud gonzo posted, then I agree with you.

[soonerboomer93]

Other than being a bit whiney at times, I'm probably way the hell too mature to be honest. If anything I need to loosen up and lower the age that I act. I'm much too stuffy and aloof as it is.

I could use some good advice on how to initiate something with a girl. My thinking is that I just walk right up and say, "hey I saw you walk in and was wondering if I could buy you a beer." That seems the most obvious to me.

being overly stuffy and aloof can be just as immature as activing like you're 5

[SoonerJack]

Other than being a bit whiney at times, I'm probably way the hell too mature to be honest. If anything I need to loosen up and lower the age that I act. I'm much too stuffy and aloof as it is.

I could use some good advice on how to initiate something with a girl. My thinking is that I just walk right up and say, "hey I saw you walk in and was wondering if I could buy you a beer." That seems the most obvious to me.

Ok, you have to go to the George Kastanza school here. Remember the episode where he decides to do everything exactly the opposite of how he would normally do it? And his whole life turns around?

"My name's George Kastanza, I'm 35, unemployed, balding and live with my parents."

If what you've been doing hasn't worked, why keep trying it?

[1stTimeCaller]

Just walk up to some chick and say, "I used to work at the carnival. If you sit on my face I can guess your weight". If she laughs you're in. If not you didn't want to be with her anyway.

You could also walk up and say "Would you like to take a shower with me, I mean have a drink with me?" Again, if she laughs you have your foot in the door and that can be the most difficult part.

[SoonerInKCMO]

Ok, you have to go to the George Kastanza school here. Remember the episode where he decides to do everything exactly the opposite of how he would normally do it? And his whole life turns around?

People have been giving this advice to SicEm for a long time now. He hasn't followed it yet. He seems to prefer being pathetic - it's the one thing he's really good at.

[jk the sooner fan]

and if for some reason she brings up the fact that she thinks Lincoln was a great president.....do not respond with:

GARBLE GARBLE TRAMPLED ON THE CONSTITUTION GARBLE GARBLE STATES RIGHTS GARBLE GARBLE GARBLE

respond with:

"you're so smart!"

[tommieharris91]

and if for some reason she brings up the fact that she thinks Lincoln was a great president.....do not respond with:

GARBLE GARBLE TRAMPLED ON THE CONSTITUTION GARBLE GARBLE STATES RIGHTS GARBLE GARBLE GARBLE

respond with:

"you're so smart!"

This is the opposite of what is being told to you. Of course, it is uncouth to bring up politics on a date anyway. If she does put in some comment about, ohh, EPA regulations set by the federal gov't, calmly (and I mean calmly) tell her what you think. After you bone her (assuming you try to get that far), don't call her back. The key here: be honest.

It's what I do in this situation.

[OCUDad]

SicEm, you are making things much more difficult than they have to be. You must stop trying to decide if a woman is "achievable" or "out of your league" before proceeding with whatever it is you're trying to do.

You must come to grips with the fact that ALL women are out of your particular league. Once you've accepted that, the choice is easy -- either (a) resign yourself to a lifetime of celibacy, or (b) widen your horizons to include all women.

If they're all equally unachievable, then it follows they're all equally achievable. Whether she's Bea Arthur or Heidi Klum, your chances are the same. So go for it. You never know.

[SicEmBaylor]

I pledge to legitimately follow most of this advice when I go out on Thursday.
I'm not good at taking advice, but I'm going to give it a shot this time.

[tulsaoilerfan]

We must start the "Get Sicem's weenir wet by May project". This may be greater than the Manhatten Project.


I got a $20 to add to the fund if that will help any. :D

[OUinFLA]

Whether she's Bea Arthur or Heidi Klum, your chances are the same.

I'll take Heidi Klum for $5000, Alex.

I'll go to $10,000 if that's what it takes.

[tommieharris91]

Heidi Klum's in my league. :cool:

[OCUDad]

Heidi Klum's in my league. :cool:Do I hear $10,001?

[tulsaoilerfan]

I'll take Heidi Klum for $5000, Alex.

I'll go to $10,000 if that's what it takes.
$10,020; i got your back too bro:D

[tommieharris91]

$10,050; after all, she is in my league. :cool:

[OUinFLA]

I gotta go borrow some money from my wife............
oh, wait, that might not work out well.

[olevetonahill]

Sicem ! last advice Im gonna give you.
Go to that bar , walk right up to the 1st chick that looks good , and say (use My words here ok ? ) " hey Lets **** , then Ill buy you a beer ".
If she says NO then follow with " I guess a BJ and happening either "
do that 10 times in one nite . Your Home ;)