Need help with "cling-on" girl....NOW!

[8timechamps]

Okay, first a little background:

I had been trying to get a date with this girl for over 2 months, about a month ago she finally agreed to a date. I was pretty happy. She is drop dead beautiful. She is a pharmacist, so I figured she had brains too.

We went on our first date, and things went great. We hit it off, and started spending a lot of time together.

Fast-forward to now. She is a cling-on. I can’t get away from her. She tracks me down by phone everywhere I go. At first, I thought it was a little cute, but now, it’s straight spooky. She showed up at my house at 2:30am last Saturday, and knocked on my windows. Now, if I were in high school, living with my parents, I would understand. But, I’m 35 freaking years old.

She’s only 25, so I think that may have a lot to do with it. But, at this point I am trying to think of any possible way to get out of this thing. I never thought it was serious, but I am afraid she thinks it is.

Anyway, I’ve never really exposed my relationships on the inner web, but this is the craziest girl I’ve ever dated and I need some advice from someone that may have been where I am.

I need to “break up” with her, but here’s the problem: It’s freakin’ Valentine’s Day! If I do it today, she may explode. On the other hand, how can I go out with her tonight, and then dump her?

If you don’t hear from me in 3 days…send help! :)

[Beef]

I need to “break up” with her, but here’s the problem: It’s freakin’ Valentine’s Day! If I do it today, she may explode. On the other hand, how can I go out with her tonight, and then dump her?

If you don’t hear from me in 3 days…send help! :)
Go for the old Hump Her and Dump Her maneuver, but don't do the dumping part until after midnight so it's not technically Valentine's Day anymore.

[Okla-homey]

You asked. Here goes. Explain your feelings to the woman. Then, don't take advantage of her clinginess. If you do both those things, I bet it'll sort itself out. If it doesn't, cut away clean. It's more humane.

[Osce0la]

in.

the.

pooper.

[hurricane'bone]

2 words:

Red Sock

[NormanPride]

Get a laser defense system for your house.

[Boomer.....]

Ask SicEM for advise.

[SCOUT]

However you handle it, you are going to want to get a conceal and carry permit.

[frankensooner]

Heck, if you break her of that, she might be a keeper. ;)

[MamaMia]

This is not good; not good at all. To heck with Valentines Day! She is not your valentine. She is Trouble with a capital T.

Get out your boots, parka and suitcases. Fill them up with all of your really warm winter clothes. Leave the suitcases open so she can see your sweaters. Invite her over and tell her that you're having to move to Siberia or some such place right away. :eek:

[IronSooner]

This is not good; not good at all. To heck with Valentines Day! She is not your valentine. She is Trouble with a capital T.

Get out your boots, parka and suitcases. Fill them up with all of your really warm winter clothes. Leave the suitcases open so she can see your sweaters. Invite her over and tell her that you're having to move to Siberia or some such place right away. :eek:

And that you already have a ride to the airport. Don't mention which airport.

[olevetonahill]

Tell the yainch to kick rocks .

[royalfan5]

Crazy stays Crazy, so don't try and fix her. Just run, or perhaps get rocket boots of some sort.

[TexasLidig8r]

http://www.dispatch.co.za/1997/10/07/Images/featombs.jpg

Darlin, I think it's time for us to redefine the nature of our association.

[Boomer_Sooner_sax]

This thread is worthless without pics

[BeetDigger]

A new cell phone number would be high on the "to do" list.

[stoopified]

Wait a minute,wait a minute,wait just a darn minute,IS the SEX any good?IF you aren;t having sex or it is no good,I say run,move,change your number.IF it is goodthen I say hang in there for at least a little while longer,then dump her and move to Alaska.Frozen Mike might be able to help you out finding a new job and place to live under your new nwme.:D

[SoonerStormchaser]

I hear Alaska is beautiful this time of year.

[IB4OU2]

Ask SicEM for advise.

Yeah, just tell her you're ghey...

[TexasLidig8r]

Wait a minute,wait a minute,wait just a darn minute,IS the SEX any good?IF you aren;t having sex or it is no good,I say run,move,change your number.IF it is goodthen I say hang in there for at least a little while longer,then dump her and move to Alaska.Frozen Mike might be able to help you out finding a new job and place to live under your new nwme.:D

It is a universal truth that... the quality of sex is directly tied to the crazy factor in a woman. The crazier the woman.. the better the sex.

[Osce0la]

Tell her she turned you ghey...

[TexasSooner01]

Run.....

other than that

I got nuthin.

[PhxSooner]

Knocking on windows=stalker crazy

Run. Today.

[Frozen Sooner]

Just tell her that you aren't interested any longer and you didn't think it was fair to lie to her on Valentine's Day.

[PhxSooner]

Just tell her that you aren't interested any longer and you didn't think it was fair to lie to her on Valentine's Day.
Well, yeah, if you're going to be rational about it.:rolleyes: :D

[BeetDigger]

Tell her you would like to try something, and you think think its pronounced "Men-agggg a twaaaa".

[GulfCoastBamaFan]

If you have had sex with this woman, then you are scrooed.

Your only hope is to tell her that you've also been sleeping with an astronaut.

[TexasSooner01]

But be careful...she might catch SicEm's killer bunny and leave it boiling on your stove.....

[mdklatt]

I need to “break up” with her, but here’s the problem: It’s freakin’ Valentine’s Day! If I do it today, she may explode. On the other hand, how can I go out with her tonight, and then dump her?


Make her want to dump you: PIITB.

[skycat]

Knock on her window at 2:30 in the morning.

[GulfCoastBamaFan]

It is a universal truth that... the quality of sex is directly tied to the crazy factor in a woman. The crazier the woman.. the better the sex.

So I should stop getting my dates off the short bus?

[Osce0la]

It is a universal truth that... the quality of sex is directly tied to the crazy factor in a woman. The crazier the woman.. the better the sex.
ummm...my wife is not crazy (I think)...

[Howzit]

How does she feel about elves?

[Frozen Sooner]

Well, yeah, if you're going to be rational about it.:rolleyes: :D

Oh, sorry.

Here's what you should do:

Take her out to the best restaurant in town. Tell her that unless she does whatever you say, she's getting dumped. The progressively order her to do more and more humiliating things until she finally says no. I'm talking horrible stuff: make her go down on you in the restaurant. Stuff like that.

When she finally refuses to do terrible things with an eggbeater, tell her it's her own fault for not loving you enough, throw poop on her shoes, and say "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee."

Works every time.

[Widescreen]

How does she feel about elves?
You know what they say about elves...

[mdklatt]

You know what they say about elves...

pointed ears = always queers

[Tear Down This Wall]

Here's a to-do list to run off a clingy woman:

(1) Sleep with her friends.

(2) Fart.

(3) Fart loudly when you are with her in public.

(4) Fart like an ox if any of her family is around.

(5) Go to a restaurant, fart, then scratch yourself. Speak loudly enough for people at surrounding table to hear you and say, "Man, this burning itch comes back every three or four months. I can really pinpoint when it started, but...well...wait a minute...I was at the Brickyard Brewery one night last year and picked up this foreign exchange gal from Barbados...anyway, I didn't have a condom with me and etc., etc., etc....I hammered her like a Mexican roofer two jobs behind schedule."


<fart.>

[PhxSooner]

I hear New York is lovely this time of year. Send her there.

[soonervegas]

It is a universal truth that... the quality of sex is directly tied to the crazy factor in a woman. The crazier the woman.. the better the sex.

So so true. I really think this guy is in a no lose situation. As a poster said a little earlier...pooper. If she says "No" you let her know that is a vital part of a relationship and if she can't do it then you need to move on. If she says "Yes" your getting pooper from a girl that can probably make your toes curl.

Happy Valentines day to you!

[Howzit]

You know what they say about elves...

Once you go elfin, you prefer to do yourselfin'.

[BeetDigger]

Make her want to dump you: PIITB.


No pun intended I am sure. :texan:

[ultimatesooner1]

I had a crazy cling on chick in college. One day when I knew she was coming over, I packed up all of my stuff and put it in my roommates room and had my roommate tell her I moved to Colorado

[Howzit]

Once you go elfin, you prefer to do yourselfin'.

'Cause...see...

:les: YOU'D RATHER MASTURBATE!!!!

[Scott D]

introduce her to SicEm...the excessive clingyness between the two couldn't be broken with an entire crate of Bounce.

[Pricetag]

'Cause...see...

:les: YOU'D RATHER MASTURBATE!!!!
I read it as "do yourself in," as in commit suicide.

[Viking Kitten]

I've been watching the British version of "Coupling" recently. Hilarious, BTW. Anyway, on that show, they call people like 8XC's girlfriend "unflushables." Heh.

[Ike]

I've been watching the British version of "Coupling" recently. Hilarious, BTW. Anyway, on that show, they call people like 8XC's girlfriend "unflushables." Heh.


best show ever.
And she does sound a bit like Jane...

spek to you.

[TheUnnamedSooner]

Does she look like this?

http://www.sherylfranklin.com/images/trek/women/tng/betor003.jpg

[scotplum]

What's her email address? I'll just send her a link to this thread and you should be good.

[NormanPride]

Turn the tables on her. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5xehYVnsnY)

[olevetonahill]

Bring the Yainch for a weekend at the " Olevet " ski resort.
we will the Ho out in the woods and lose her asz!;)

[KC//CRIMSON]

Are you nuts?

A. She's hot.
B. She puts out.
C. She thinks your the shiznit.
D. Big time drug connection. Imagine, free Valium!

what more could you possibly want?

[BillyBall]

Ask her if she would be down to have a 3 way with you, her, and her mom.... Ball game.

[8timechamps]

At this point, the hotness is waaaaay out numbered by the craziness.

My son came home from school early today sick, so I told my ex-wife that I wanted to keep him with me tonight....so, I don't have to deal with the whole Valentines day thing.

HOWEVER, she put balloons and crap on my mailbox while I was out. It's gone past the point of being sorta funny. I'm going to have to make a break soon! I seriously think she will freak out.

[TexasSooner01]

At this point, the hotness is waaaaay out numbered by the craziness.

My son came home from school early today sick, so I told my ex-wife that I wanted to keep him with me tonight....so, I don't have to deal with the whole Valentines day thing.

HOWEVER, she put balloons and crap on my mailbox while I was out. It's gone past the point of being sorta funny. I'm going to have to make a break soon! I seriously think she will freak out.


www.thepayback.com

Greatness.....:pop:

[KC//CRIMSON]

If you half way like her, just tell her to chill. Otherwise, it's splitzville.

[soonerboomer93]

Ask SicEM for advise.

and then do the exact opposite

[Okieflyer]

Man don't worry about it. Go with the flow and just live your life. Enjoy the things she gives you and do what you want. Just be honest, if you want to be alone tell her "I need my space or I murder people".

http://blogimg.com/docisin/lucy_docisin.jpg

[Skysooner]

Invite her to Branson?

[King Crimson]

balloons?

[mdklatt]

Get 1TC to teach you his GSF (golden stream of freedom) technique for getting rid of chicks.

[jdsooner]

Lent starts in a week. Tell her you have taken a vow and given up sex for Lent.

[tommieharris91]

Act like a mangyne. If that doesn't work... restraining order maybe?

[OUinFLA]

Since it's Valentines Day
Look soulfully into her eyes and say....

**** off dip ****

[Zbird]

Okay, first a little background:

I had been trying to get a date with this girl for over 2 months, about a month ago she finally agreed to a date. I was pretty happy. She is drop dead beautiful. She is a pharmacist, so I figured she had brains too.

We went on our first date, and things went great. We hit it off, and started spending a lot of time together.

Fast-forward to now. She is a cling-on. I can’t get away from her. She tracks me down by phone everywhere I go. At first, I thought it was a little cute, but now, it’s straight spooky. She showed up at my house at 2:30am last Saturday, and knocked on my windows. Now, if I were in high school, living with my parents, I would understand. But, I’m 35 freaking years old.

She’s only 25, so I think that may have a lot to do with it. But, at this point I am trying to think of any possible way to get out of this thing. I never thought it was serious, but I am afraid she thinks it is.

Anyway, I’ve never really exposed my relationships on the inner web, but this is the craziest girl I’ve ever dated and I need some advice from someone that may have been where I am.

I need to “break up” with her, but here’s the problem: It’s freakin’ Valentine’s Day! If I do it today, she may explode. On the other hand, how can I go out with her tonight, and then dump her?

If you don’t hear from me in 3 days…send help! :)


Kevlar Vest.

Don't take her to see Eastwood in "Play Misty for me"

[Cam]

Oh, sorry.

Here's what you should do:

Take her out to the best restaurant in town. Tell her that unless she does whatever you say, she's getting dumped. The progressively order her to do more and more humiliating things until she finally says no. I'm talking horrible stuff: make her go down on you in the restaurant. Stuff like that.

When she finally refuses to do terrible things with an eggbeater, tell her it's her own fault for not loving you enough, throw poop on her shoes, and say "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee."

Works every time.
Not a bad idea when dealing with a psycho. Although she may enjoy some of it, so you've got to be really, really dirty/nasty in your demands.

Or you could always sleep with a friend or two of hers.

[tbl]

2 words:

Dirty Sanchez

[tbl]

BTW, this is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while. I've doled out more spek than I thought possible.

[MamaMia]

At this point, the hotness is waaaaay out numbered by the craziness.

My son came home from school early today sick, so I told my ex-wife that I wanted to keep him with me tonight....so, I don't have to deal with the whole Valentines day thing.

HOWEVER, she put balloons and crap on my mailbox while I was out. It's gone past the point of being sorta funny. I'm going to have to make a break soon! I seriously think she will freak out.
Oh, did I forget to mention that you first need to steal someones FOR SALE sign to put in your front yard? :)

[SoonerGirl06]

This is not good; not good at all. To heck with Valentines Day! She is not your valentine. She is Trouble with a capital T.

Get out your boots, parka and suitcases. Fill them up with all of your really warm winter clothes. Leave the suitcases open so she can see your sweaters. Invite her over and tell her that you're having to move to Siberia or some such place right away. :eek:


Mama's right.

Have any of you guys not watched Fatal Attraction?!?!?! Did it not teach ya'll anything?

If the woman is hanging balloons on your mailbox and knocking on your window at 2:30 in the morning... she's seriously psycho. Normal women do not do those kind of things.

And by the way... you don't have to be a crazy woman to give great sex...

[OUinFLA]

Mama's right.

And by the way... you don't have to be a crazy woman to give great sex...

how YOU doin?

[Tear Down This Wall]

She's right. In grad school, there was little, quiet flower of a gal from Alabama...Huntsville, if I remember correctly. Anyway, during the second semester of the first year, we started hanging out. One thing led to another and...well, we ended up in the bedroom of her overly tidy one bedroom apartment for a nightcap.

Folks, if you were around this gal for five minutes in public, you'd think she was prude. Behind closed doors...forget about it. She knew every dadgum trick in the book.

I love southern women. Soft. Unassuming. Well-mannered. And, crazy in the sack! I'll never forget her Bama drawl, "Let's just enjoy each uthah." Um...again? Okay!

[Widescreen]

She's right. In grad school, there was little, quiet flower of a gal from Alabama...Huntsville, if I remember correctly. Anyway, during the second semester of the first year, we started hanging out. One thing led to another and...well, we ended up in the bedroom of her overly tidy one bedroom apartment for a nightcap.

Folks, if you were around this gal for five minutes in public, you'd think she was prude. Behind closed doors...forget about it. She knew every dadgum trick in the book.

I love southern women. Soft. Unassuming. Well-mannered. And, crazy in the sack! I'll never forget her Bama drawl, "Let's just enjoy each uthah." Um...again? Okay!
SoonerWill?

[colleyvillesooner]

Mama's right.

Have any of you guys not watched Fatal Attraction?!?!?! Did it not teach ya'll anything?

If the woman is hanging balloons on your mailbox and knocking on your window at 2:30 in the morning... she's seriously psycho. Normal women do not do those kind of things.

And by the way... you don't have to be a crazy woman to give great sex...

and by the way, if you're braggin about sex on a messageboard, you're probably not having any. :D

[1stTimeCaller]

I was going to offer up some advice but then I remembered that you don't like girls.

I can't believe everyone else fell for this joke.

;)