sanantoniosooner
2/10/2007, 11:37 AM
Have you been to one? They're a little different than what I'm used to attending. My son's orchestra recitals are similar. You need to be quite....all that jazz. But it's an even more pronounced quietness. There's only one instrument so you you almost feel bad even with a mild cough or if your seat squeaks.
Some of the pieces they play go on for 10 and even up to 20 minutes. Usually when they finish a piece there is a little awkward silence until the performer gives some cue that the performance is completed allowing you to now applaud.
It is in this exact moment when the fellow behind me decide to fart. It wasn't a rip roaring flatulation. It was more of the "poit" baby fart. I was sure that it was a fart, but in my disbelief I turned to my wife to ask if she had heard it also. Big mistake. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his wife almost laying in her seat twitching as though she was having a seizure.
I lost it.
I was able to maintain near silence, but I was convulsing in contained laughter and could not stop. I bit my tongue. I pinched my own leg. I pulled leg hairs. I could not stop shaking. My wife thought it was a shoe squeak until the wife whispered to her husband that he should say "excuse me".
Of course the odds of this being odorless were slim, and this wasn't a good night to gamble. There was only one audible fart, but by my count he was responsible for at least 3 before the intermission. An intermission, by the way, that included their departure or at least relocation.
Before the end of the night, the elderly lady next to my wife had joined in with some SBDs.
I had no idea that such high brow events were so base.
Some of the pieces they play go on for 10 and even up to 20 minutes. Usually when they finish a piece there is a little awkward silence until the performer gives some cue that the performance is completed allowing you to now applaud.
It is in this exact moment when the fellow behind me decide to fart. It wasn't a rip roaring flatulation. It was more of the "poit" baby fart. I was sure that it was a fart, but in my disbelief I turned to my wife to ask if she had heard it also. Big mistake. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his wife almost laying in her seat twitching as though she was having a seizure.
I lost it.
I was able to maintain near silence, but I was convulsing in contained laughter and could not stop. I bit my tongue. I pinched my own leg. I pulled leg hairs. I could not stop shaking. My wife thought it was a shoe squeak until the wife whispered to her husband that he should say "excuse me".
Of course the odds of this being odorless were slim, and this wasn't a good night to gamble. There was only one audible fart, but by my count he was responsible for at least 3 before the intermission. An intermission, by the way, that included their departure or at least relocation.
Before the end of the night, the elderly lady next to my wife had joined in with some SBDs.
I had no idea that such high brow events were so base.