View Full Version : Outerspace love triangle turns ugly
Widescreen
2/5/2007, 08:48 PM
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/space/orl-bk-nasaastronaut0507feb05,0,6104316.story?coll=orl-home-headlines
A NASA astronaut is charged with attacking her rival for another astronaut's attention early Monday at Orlando International Airport, the Orlando Sentinel has learned.
Lisa Marie Nowak drove from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the male astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police.
Nowak -- who was a mission specialist on a Discovery launch last summer -- was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, rubber tubing and plastic bags, reports show. Once U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and doused her with pepper spray, according to reports.
Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence. Police considered her such a danger that they requested she be held without bail in the Orange County Jail, reports show.
Nowak told police that she was "involved in a relationship with," Bill Oefelein another NASA astronaut, and categorized the relationship as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to the charging affidavit.
Nowak told police that she found out Oefelein was involved with Shipman and planned a trip to Orlando to talk to Shipman about their relationships with Oefelein. She told police the BB gun "was going to be used to entice Ms. Shipman to talk with her," the affidavit said.
Shipman told police that when she arrived at the airport and was waiting for the airport satellite parking shuttle, she noticed a woman wearing a trench coat near the taxi stand. The woman boarded the bus after Shipman, according to police, and followed her to Shipman's car.
When Shipman got into her car, reports show, she heard "running footsteps" coming toward her. Nowak tried to open the car door, then claimed she needed a ride, or use of a cell phone. When Shipman rolled down her window a couple of inches, Nowak "sprayed some type of chemical spray into the vehicle," reports show.
Shipman is an engineer assigned to the 45th Launch Support Squadron at Patrick Air Force base, near the Kennedy Space Center. A 2002 graduate of Penn State University, she began working at Cape Canaveral in May, 2005, according to air base Public Affairs Officer Ken Warren.
Police said that along with the weapons and other items in Nowak's car, they found e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, Mapquest directions from Houston to the Orlando airport, and diapers, which Nowak told police she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the drive.
Monday's arrest is the first-ever on felony charges for an active-duty astronaut, that the space agency was aware of, according to a spokesman.
"Her status as an astronaut with NASA is currently unchanged. I cannot speculate on what might happen beyond that," said James Hartsfield, a NASA spokesman at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, where Nowak and Oefelein work.
Nowak's biography shows she is a 1985 graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis with a degree in aerospace engineering, and a former test pilot who has logged more than 1,500 hours of flight in at least 30 types of aircraft.
She joined the space program in 1996. Three members of her astronaut class died in the 2003 in-flight disintegration of Shuttle Columbia.
Married and a mother of three children, her interests include running, playing the piano and collecting African violets, according to her NASA biography.
This story is wrong on a lot of levels. :eek:
I dunno.....sort of brings these folks down to earth.....
Sounds like the two broads were fighting to become the first members of the 250 Mile High Club....
Their favorite song?
"Fly Me To The Moon."
Ms. Nowak's mugshot:
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/media/photo/2007-02/27757523.jpg
Never mind: The new theme song is not David Bowie's "Space Oddity", but "Scary Monsters."
I guess Bill Oefelein's dick is out of this world.
Nowak -- who was a mission specialist on a Discovery launch last summer -- was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive.
That's what I call stopping the jet stream....
Colleen Shipman had perfected the frictionless entry through many portals that was coveted by NASA.
This group of astronauts has their own idea of the shuttle roll program...
"Payload" will never mean the same thing again....
Colleen Shipman allegedly told Bill Oefelein that she wanted to see his "O face". Lisa Marie Nowak misunderstood the phrase; Shipman was talking about his joyous expression when they hit "Orbit".
homerSimpsonsBrain
2/5/2007, 10:35 PM
Sounds like a space cadet
Bill Oefelein may have ****ed off Lisa Marie Nowak when he told her that he wanted to abort their mission.
Her favorite space shuttle meal is a freeze-dried bone-in steak....
She actually was in favor of space junk.
Penguin
2/5/2007, 11:05 PM
Shuttle astronaut charged in kidnap, battery case (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/4528662.html)
http://images.chron.com/photos/2007/02/05/5048673/311xInlineGallery.jpg
That some wacky ****, man!
soonerboomer93
2/5/2007, 11:09 PM
road trip
just don't forget the depends
MamaMia
2/5/2007, 11:34 PM
She could have saved herself alot of trouble by just mooning her. :P
RADsooner
2/6/2007, 12:40 AM
"over the affection of another astronaut" ummmm..... 110 mile club??
OklahomaTuba
2/6/2007, 12:50 AM
NASA should consider revising their psyc testing me thinks.
BigRedJed
2/6/2007, 12:58 AM
That.
Is.
Awesome.
GottaHavePride
2/6/2007, 01:12 AM
She actually was in favor of space junk.
Post. Of. Theyear.
Time for a thread merge...
SicEmBaylor
2/6/2007, 01:37 AM
She's hittable in her NASA pic.
http://www.drudgereport.com/ssa.jpg
Frozen Sooner
2/6/2007, 01:40 AM
Your momma's an astronaut.
GottaHavePride
2/6/2007, 01:44 AM
yermom's an astronaut?
More like an A5S-tronaut.
jdsooner
2/6/2007, 01:49 AM
Nowak was selected to be an astronaut in 1996 and entered the astronaut corps at Johnson Space Center in August of that year. She qualified as a mission specialist in robotics and went into space July 4, 2006 on the STS-121 mission which included a trip to the International Space Station and several spacewalks. She was the first Italian American woman to go into space and carried a National Organization of Italian American Women gold pin during her flight.
Nowak is married to Richard T. Nowak, and they have three children together. Her hobbies include reading, piano, gardening, and crossword puzzles. (and kidnapping and beating other women)
She was mad at him cause he was tired of her moon Tang
Okla-homey
2/6/2007, 08:31 AM
This is what happens when NASA has no focus. How much are we spending so these people can join the thousand mile high club anyway? I bet the NASA shrink who conducted this alleged violent stalker's psychological testing "cannot be reached for comment" this morning ;)
Orlando Sentinel: A NASA astronaut faces her first appearance before a judge this morning after police say she attacked her rival for another astronaut's attention at Orlando International Airport Monday.
Lisa Marie Nowak drove more than 12 hours from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police. She is being held on no bond at Orange County Jail and has a court appearance at 9 a.m.
http://aycu08.webshots.com/image/7407/2004203674733963856_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2004203674733963856)
Astronaut Nowak
Nowak -- who was a mission specialist on a Space Shuttle Discovery flight last summer -- was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. :eek: They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive. :eek: :eek: :eek: Reports show that after U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman's flight arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and then doused her with pepper spray.
Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence. Police considered her such a danger that they requested she be held without bail in the Orange County Jail, reports show.
A married mother of three, Nowak told police that she was "involved in a relationship with," Bill Oefelein, another NASA astronaut, which she categorized as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to the charging affidavit.
Oefelein, who piloted the most recent shuttle flight in December, could not be reached Monday night at home in Houston.
She found out Oefelein was involved with Shipman and planned a trip to Orlando to talk to Shipman about their relationships with Oefelein, reports show. She also told police the BB gun "was going to be used to entice Ms. Shipman to talk with her."
Shipman, an engineer assigned to the 45th Launch Support Squadron at Patrick Air Force base near the Kennedy Space Center, told police she was flying home from Houston. She could not be reached for comment Monday night at her home near Port Canaveral.
Shipman told police that after waiting two hours to get her luggage, she noticed a woman in a trench coat waiting near the airport taxi stand. When Shipman boarded a shuttle bus to long-term parking, the woman followed, according to police.
When Shipman got into her car in the Blue lot on Cargo Road, reports show, she heard "running footsteps" coming toward her. Nowak tried to open the car door, then claimed she needed a ride, or use of a cell phone.
"No. If you need help, I'll send someone to help you," Shipman responded, reports show.
Nowak claimed she could not hear and started to cry.
"Ms. Shipman rolled her window down about 2 inches, so Mrs. Nowak could hear her... Mrs. Nowak sprayed some type of chemical spray into the vehicle, at Ms. Shipman's face," a detective wrote.
Shipman sped away to the parking lot's toll booth, where she asked a parking employee to call police.
The first officer to reach the Blue lot, saw the suspect drop something black into a trash can at one of the parking shuttle stops. Within minutes, Shipman identified Nowak as her attacker.
A steel mallet, several feet of rubber tubing and hand-written directions to Shipman's home were recovered from Nowak's car, which was parked at a nearby LaQuinta Inn, reports show.
Picked up shortly before 4 a.m., Nowak was questioned until about 5 p.m. when police took her to the county jail.
Her arrest may be the first-ever felony charges filed on an active-duty astronaut, according to the space agency.
"Her status as an astronaut with NASA is currently unchanged. I cannot speculate on what might happen beyond that," said James Hartsfield, a NASA spokesman at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, where Nowak and Oefelein work.
Nowak's biography shows she is a 1985 graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis with a degree in aerospace engineering, and a former test pilot who has logged more than 1,500 hours of flight in at least 30 types of aircraft.
She joined the space program in 1996. Three members of her astronaut class died in the 2003 shuttle Columbia disaster.
A Navy captain, Nowak flew aboard last summer's 12-day flight to re-supply the International Space Station and test safety features and repair techniques.
"A lot of my training is what you might think of as a Flight Engineer on ascent and entry," she said in a pre-flight interview on the NASA Web site. "I sit behind and between the pilot and commander and help coordinate things and keep the big picture."
A Navy commander, Oefelein is a former test pilot who attended TOPGUN, the U.S. Navy Fighter Weapons School. He has flown more 3,000 hours in more than 50 types of aircraft, including over 200 carrier landings, according to NASA.
A father of two children, Oefelein enjoys fishing, hiking and snowboarding, according to his NASA biography. In December, Oefelein, 41, logged about 308 hours in space.
Sentinel staff writers Beth Kassab and Michael Cabbage contributed to this report
SoonerJack
2/6/2007, 08:36 AM
Next on Oprah, When Good Astronauts go Bad.....very bad.
jk the sooner fan
2/6/2007, 08:39 AM
i dont think one wheels off woman reflects on the organization.....
Post. Of. Theyear.
Yup. I tried to spek it...
Moon Tang is pretty good too... :D:D:D
fadada1
2/6/2007, 09:09 AM
i think this is a perfect example that even so called "smart people" can have hillbillie moments.
"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." -BTT
BoogercountySooner
2/6/2007, 09:44 AM
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
MamaMia
2/6/2007, 10:06 AM
I heard she planned to tie her up with some jupiter cables.
BigRedJed
2/6/2007, 10:18 AM
HOT!
Viking Kitten
2/6/2007, 10:38 AM
She looks like Seth Myers. Only he's prettier.
http://images.chron.com/photos/2007/02/05/5048673/311xInlineGallery.jpghttp://www.lasvegasextravaganza.com/images/img_seth_meyers.jpg
I heard he wanted to try something different in the sack, but she hade a severe case of asteroids.
MamaMia
2/6/2007, 10:48 AM
She always wanted to be an astronut.
C&CDean
2/6/2007, 10:51 AM
Merge...
and depends just aren't for old people....astronauts use them too..
jk the sooner fan
2/6/2007, 11:00 AM
the astronauts wear diapers on lift off and re-entry.........that just sounds dirty
mdklatt
2/6/2007, 11:18 AM
the astronauts wear diapers on lift off and re-entry
Most of us would probably **** ourselves during those two phases.
KC//CRIMSON
2/6/2007, 11:52 AM
Space head!
Flagstaffsooner
2/6/2007, 12:08 PM
No more re-entry for them.
Chuck Bao
2/6/2007, 02:32 PM
She is, clearly, made of the right stuff.
She was on a mission to save her man.
I mean driving from Houston to Orlando without stopping for bathroom breaks? "There are no bathroom breaks in space!"
n8v_ndn
2/6/2007, 03:20 PM
KILLER ASTRONAUT FROM OUTER SPACE
She could now face attempted murder charges, considering the assortmment of Hannibal tools in her possession.
Penguin
2/6/2007, 03:38 PM
Why did she go to Orlando? That woman's flight left from Houston. Why not kidnap her and chop her to bits in Houston?
Oldnslo
2/6/2007, 04:29 PM
dammit. somebody already made "re-entry" and "tang" jokes.
Best I got left is a splashdown reference.
StoopTroup
2/6/2007, 04:41 PM
Earth Girls are easy.
Widescreen
2/6/2007, 04:58 PM
She now has the wonderful honor of being the 1st active astronaut ever charged with a felony. So she's got that going for her.
n8v_ndn
2/6/2007, 05:20 PM
Why did she go to Orlando? That woman's flight left from Houston. Why not kidnap her and chop her to bits in Houston?
No kidding. Didn't she ever see Commando (http://commandofans.com/home/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1)? She coulda bought a seat next to the vic, elbowed nasal bone into the brain, and jumped to freedom just after takeoff.
Frozen Sooner
2/6/2007, 05:24 PM
So I just read in the paper that the point in this love triangle was Bill Ofelien, who also has the distinction of being the first Alaskan in space.
What can I say? Us Alaskans just drive de bitches crazy.
She found out that she is late. Not only blaming Bill, but her contreceptive, Nova Ring.
And what was she planning with the BB gun?
And what was she planning with the BB gun?
Moderate discomfort if she tried anything foolish.
JohnnyMack
2/6/2007, 05:34 PM
Moderate discomfort if she tried anything foolish.
Vacation 'Spek!
Only I can't spek you right now. I must spread it.
jk the sooner fan
2/6/2007, 05:37 PM
so wheels off, hard to imagine a Navy 0-6 going crazy like that!
Harry Beanbag
2/6/2007, 05:37 PM
I thought NASA was trying to prevent more explosions on the Shuttle.
ORLANDO, Florida (CNN) -- NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak was ordered released Tuesday on an additional $10,000 bond on an attempted murder charge in Orlando, where she allegedly tried to subdue a purported romantic rival with pepper spray and kidnap her from an airport parking lot.
Nowak also was ordered to wear a global positioning satellite, or GPS, device.
Nowak, 43, appeared in court Tuesday afternoon to face the attempted first-degree murder charge.
Nowak is accused of accosting Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, 30, in the Orlando airport parking lot early Monday, telling police she only wanted to talk with Shipman.
The additional charge came hours after Nowak, considered a rising star at NASA, posted $15,500 bond for charges stemming from the alleged kidnapping plot, a jail spokesman said. (Watch what it takes to become an astronaut )
"She was about to be released when the Orlando police showed up with additional attempted first-degree murder," Orange County jail spokesman Allen Moore said.
In addition, Nowak faces charges of battery, attempted kidnapping and attempted vehicle burglary with battery.
The attempted murder charge is the most serious one that the married mother of three faces.
Nowak, a Navy captain, and Shipman, an Air Force captain, were both "in a relationship" with Navy Cmdr. Bill Oefelein, another astronaut, according to a police report of the incident. (Watch how police say a NASA love triangle went awry )
Nowak's hands were shackled when she appeared in court Tuesday morning for her appearance on the initial charges.
Dressed in a dark-colored jumpsuit, Nowak appeared stiff and occasionally looked down, trying to avoid showing her face to the courtroom camera. . (Watch a shackled Nowak bow her head as attorneys discuss her bail with the judge )
Her attorney argued that, based on the charging affidavit, she should only face a misdemeanor battery charge.
The presiding judge set bond at $15,500 and threw out another charge, destruction of evidence.
He ordered Nowak to GPS device on her ankle after her release on bond to ensure she does not travel east of Orange County, where Shipman lives.
According to the police report, Nowak drove from Houston, Texas, to the Orlando airport to meet Shipman, who was flying the same route, according to the report.
Police said Nowak pepper-sprayed Shipman through her car window at the airport. Evidence found in Nowak's bag prompted police to file the attempted kidnapping charges, according to the report.
Retired Air Force Col. Steve Lindsey, Nowak's supervisor at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, testified at the court appearance.
Lindsey -- commander of Nowak's space shuttle flight last year -- assured the judge that Nowak wouldn't have contact with Shipman or need to travel to Patrick Air Force Base, where Shipman works, or nearby Kennedy Space Center.
He also said the GPS device would not interfere with her work at Johnson Space Center.
Nowak's attorney, Donald Lykkebak, argued that his client should be released without bond because of her "exemplary record of commitment" as a Navy officer and astronaut.
"At times like this, judge, one's good works must count for something," Lykkebak said.
Shipman told police she arrived at the airport about 1 a.m. Monday but had to wait two hours for her luggage to arrive. Once she retrieved her bags, she said, she took a bus to the lot where her car was parked. She noticed a woman wearing a trench coat who appeared to be following her.
Fearing for her safety, Shipman quickly entered her car, the police report said, adding that she reported hearing "running footsteps" behind her. Shipman closed and locked her car door as Nowak slapped the window of the car and tried to open the car door, the police report said.
Nowak told Shipman her ride had not arrived and asked for help, but Shipman refused, saying she would send help instead, the reporte said. When Nowak complained she couldn't hear Shipman and started to cry, Shipman opened her car window about 2 inches -- and Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the car, police said.
Shipman, her eyes burning, drove away and found police, who returned to the bus stop and found Nowak, who was wearing a different coat. As he approached to bus stop, an officer observed Nowak put some items into a trash can. Those items were found to be a wig and a plastic bag containing a carbon dioxide-powered BB pistol, the report said.
Inside a bag Nowak was carrying, the officer found a tan trench coat, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, several large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash, the report said.
Nowak admitted the details of Shipman's allegations, according to the police report, and permitted a search of her car.
Inside the car, police found an a half dozen latex gloves, MapQuest directions from Houston to Orlando International Airport, e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, diapers that Nowak said she wore to reduce stops along the highway, a letter indicating how much she loved Oefelein and directions to Shipman's home address in Florida.
It is standard procedure for astronauts to wear diapers when they suit up for launch and re-entry.
Asked about the BB pistol, Nowak told police it "was going to be used to entice Ms. Shipman to talk with her."
"Mrs. Nowak stated that she was not trying to cause any bodily harm to Ms. Shipman and that she only wanted to scare Ms. Shipman into talking with her," the police report said.
Shortly after the incident, Shipman sought a restraining order against Nowak in Brevard County, where Shipman lives and works, according to a copy of the order on Brevard County's Web site.
In the paperwork for the order, Shipman said that Nowak had been stalking her for two months. A hearing for that order is scheduled for February 20.
Nowak, an astronaut since 1996, flew her first shuttle mission in July as a mission specialist aboard the Discovery. Oefelein, 41, was the pilot of the last shuttle mission, also aboard Discovery, which flew in December.
After Tuesday morning's hearing, Lindsey said he came to support of Nowak "like we would any employee at NASA if they were to get into this situation."
"We're a close family, and we try to take care of our own," he added.
Lindsey could not comment on whether NASA would take any disciplinary action against Nowak.
"Those are ongoing things, and we'll let the process work in those areas," he said.
TheHumanAlphabet
2/6/2007, 09:05 PM
What's funny, is the Nowak lady lives a couple of blocks from me...
Classic sales pitch in the neighborhood is that an "astronaut" lives in the neighborhood...
Perhaps I should consider relocating. First Andrea Yates (baby drowning lady) lives 2 blocks from the house, now this Nowak nut lives about 10 blocks away...
What's funny, is the Nowak lady lives a couple of blocks from me...
Classic sales pitch in the neighborhood is that an "astronaut" lives in the neighborhood...
Perhaps I should consider relocating. First Andrea Yates (baby drowning lady) lives 2 blocks from the house, now this Nowak nut lives about 10 blocks away...
you should move to Montrose, I heard they never have lady problems there
TheHumanAlphabet
2/6/2007, 09:12 PM
you should move to Montrose, I heard they never have lady problems there
I depends on what you mean by "lady" problems...;)
Shamrock
2/6/2007, 09:26 PM
The astrodude of her affection ....
http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/portraits/oefelein-thumbnail.jpg
William A. Oefelein (http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/htmlbios/oefelein.html) bio
Harry Beanbag
2/6/2007, 09:34 PM
The astrodude of her affection ....
http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/portraits/oefelein-thumbnail.jpg
William A. Oefelein (http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/htmlbios/oefelein.html) bio
You know what they say about guys with large foreheads...
Penguin
2/6/2007, 09:42 PM
They could have been the first couple to do the nasty in orbit.
They could have been the first couple to do the nasty in orbit.
Define nasty. didnt we send up a chimp or two? And you know those little bastards punished themselves going solo.
SicEmBaylor
2/6/2007, 09:46 PM
You know what they say about guys with large foreheads...
I could see Gundy in that outfit.
Oldnslo
2/6/2007, 09:49 PM
The astrodude of her affection ....
http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/portraits/oefelein-thumbnail.jpg
William A. Oefelein (http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/htmlbios/oefelein.html) bio
Where's the part in the bio about "Hung like a gas pump"?
Sad thing is, d00d's career could well take a hit, too.
This is the most bizzare thing I've ever heard of.
These people are the cream of the crop when it comes to intelligence, good genes, education, etc. And the psych evaluation of each astronaut is...well, let's just say that I would flunk the test before I even finished reading the instructions.
Oh, I heard a joke about this today...damnit, how did it go..let me think..
Details coming out are making this into one hell of a story.
The two never flew together - at least not in the shuttle, according to reports. So, did Oefelein carry on a little phone sex with Ms. Nowak (I would have), in orbit?
Also, if an act of um...lovemaking were to occur in the Earth's orbit (I suspect it has already), does the er..uh..male unit residue stick around long enough to possibly impregnate, or slip out and float to the top in zero gravity?
And who has to clean up that after they land? And what's the effects on the male unit residue after going through re-entry? Don't blame me - Tang was given to us as a result of the space program.
:pop:
soonerboomer93
2/6/2007, 09:57 PM
So I just read in the paper that the point in this love triangle was Bill Ofelien, who also has the distinction of being the first Alaskan in space.
What can I say? Us Alaskans just drive de bitches crazy.
well, he did
the rest of the alaskan males
not so much
Penguin
2/6/2007, 09:59 PM
What are these gooey little droplets floating around?
Also, if an act of um...lovemaking were to occur in the Earth's orbit (I suspect it has already), does the er..uh..male unit residue stick around long enough to possibly impregnate, or slip out and float to the top in zero gravity?
:pop:
If this secksing happened in orbit, would it be the called "the shot heard around the world"?
Ok, guys...
I'm just shaking my head now.
I don't know what to say.
I betchya a couple could get into some pretty funky positions in a zero gravity environment.
Ok, guys...
I'm just shaking my head now.
I don't know what to say.
I betchya a couple could get into some pretty funky positions in a zero gravity environment.
Zero gravity= Zero leverage.;)
Jerk - if you ever get the chance, you need to go fully loaded - I'm talking with pistols.
If the romancin' skills don't work, and I'm sure they will - pull out the heat - you're gettin' laid bro.
I don't think bullet holes in the roof of the shuttle would work very well.
BeetDigger
2/6/2007, 10:20 PM
Zero gravity - wow. I see a letter to Forum on the way. "I never believed these stories were true. Then one day, as I was orbiting earth...."
BeetDigger
2/6/2007, 10:23 PM
New bumper sticker being sold around Orlando: "If this spaceship's a rockin, don't bother knockin."
KC//CRIMSON
2/6/2007, 10:29 PM
Space head!
get it?
come on people, this is gold!
Why is it always a "love triangle"? Why not a rectangle? Or a heptagon? These people are so uncreative.
NASA is rethinking their "abort thrusters and eject" method.
Widescreen
2/6/2007, 11:23 PM
Also, if an act of um...lovemaking were to occur in the Earth's orbit (I suspect it has already), does the er..uh..male unit residue stick around long enough to possibly impregnate, or slip out and float to the top in zero gravity?
The chicks would probably dig it. No wet spot.
The chicks would probably dig it. No wet spot.
That's nasty.
http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o259/hobbs70/cleveland.jpg
Okla-homey
2/7/2007, 07:19 AM
It should be pointed out that this is why we do not want a female president. Women are great, but when they go bad, they go nuts. Just imagine a female president getting p1ssed and substitute the nuclear "button" for a trunkload of weapons and adult diapers employed by this particular hacked-off "super smart and capable" woman. <shivver>;)
jk the sooner fan
2/7/2007, 07:37 AM
oh. no.......... ;)
Okla-homey
2/7/2007, 07:46 AM
Shakespeare understood this too:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Pricetag
2/7/2007, 09:06 AM
Is being an astronaut a high enough status level to allow her to blame it on booze, enter rehab, and get off scot free?
Widescreen
8/28/2007, 12:45 PM
Per Fox News, she's entering an insanity defense. This could get good. :D
crawfish
8/28/2007, 01:03 PM
Is she gonna wear a diaper to the trial?
Okla-homey
8/28/2007, 05:53 PM
Per Fox News, she's entering an insanity defense. This could get good. :D
I'm sure NASA will be just wild about that. Can you imagine a NASA shrink admitting: "Why yes, occasionally insane people do slip through our astronaut screening process.":eek:
Widescreen
8/28/2007, 06:41 PM
Heh. I hadn't thought of that. :D
rufnek05
8/28/2007, 06:55 PM
Is she gonna wear a diaper to the trial?
nope, she's moved up to Pull-Ups, i think her opening statement is going to be "i'm a big kid now"
Widescreen
8/30/2007, 04:29 PM
Homey, your astute point is already becoming a reality.
Commentary: Insanity Claim Makes NASA Look Inept (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/08/29/nowak_spa.html?category=space&guid=20070829150030&dcitc=w19-502-ak-0000)
It's a 2-pager.
proud gonzo
8/30/2007, 05:20 PM
oh boy
Homey, your astute point is already becoming a reality.
Commentary: Insanity Claim Makes NASA Look Inept (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/08/29/nowak_spa.html?category=space&guid=20070829150030&dcitc=w19-502-ak-0000)
It's a 2-pager.
Nasa has available to them a decent counter to those points though:
Who else but a crazy person would voluntarily strap themselves to such a large explosive device?
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