Got ****blocked tonight [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 03:51 AM

by my buddies. This bartender was long, lean and built for speed. She also had store bought Ds. Tramp stamp, check. She said that she had had a terrible night so I told her that she should come back to mt hotel and I'd release her stress. She said 'Why would I do that when we can do that at my house?' I said 'That's fine, we can go to your place and I'll do things to you that you've only seen in porn.' I'm guessing that's what she needed to hear as she leaned over and touched my hand and said 'We close in about an hour.

30 minutes my buddies made me leave. Fuggers, the lot of them. I'm going back tomorrow without them.

Tailwind

1/20/2007, 04:06 AM

Awwww.....better luck tomorrow night.

Vaevictis

1/20/2007, 04:09 AM

You are so going to get robbed.

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 04:18 AM

that's OK. it will be worth it :D

Frozen Sooner

1/20/2007, 04:22 AM

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 04:25 AM

I usually giggle when I say it. Tonight was dead pan. She knew I was serious. She would have found out later that I wasn't but by then it would have been too late. ;)

BoogercountySooner

1/20/2007, 06:49 AM

Tell us about the next time she leaned over and said " 1st time" and you said "yea thats me".:)

soonerboomer93

1/20/2007, 07:03 AM

time for new friends :D

Chuck Bao

1/20/2007, 07:10 AM

Tonight was dead pan.

I can imagine her saying just that.

jk the sooner fan

1/20/2007, 08:37 AM

she's going to steal your kidneys and leave you in a tub of ice

royalfan5

1/20/2007, 09:28 AM

It's better to get ****-blocked than the clap.

StoopTroup

1/20/2007, 09:42 AM

Maybe they knew you were drunk and that the Bartender was a man. ;)

setem

1/20/2007, 09:45 AM

What bar were you at?

What was this ladie's name?

OU-HSV

1/20/2007, 09:45 AM

I was waiting for the punchline.
That's too bad...you should've just waited it out at the bar and caught a cab from her place home.

OSUAggie

1/20/2007, 09:47 AM

When attempting to close, why are you worried about where your buddies are going? Why not just go home with the slut?

BoogercountySooner

1/20/2007, 10:02 AM

When attempting to close, why don't you worry about what me and my buddies do? Why not just go to the barn with the a sheep?

Fixed!!:)

Boomhauer

1/20/2007, 10:03 AM

Remember that one episode of Nip/Tuck.....hell you remember all last season? She will really mess with your drink, knock you the hell out, and then STEAL YOUR KIDNEY! Don't do it! Them kidneys go for A LOT OF MONEY on the market.

MamaMia

1/20/2007, 10:17 AM

Why don't you try to find a nice girl?

Dio

1/20/2007, 10:19 AM

This thread is worthless without pics [/obligatory]

jk the sooner fan

1/20/2007, 10:32 AM

Why don't you try to find a nice girl?

nice girls dont steal your kidneys.....

Xstnlsooner

1/20/2007, 10:57 AM

Wanker!! All talk and no walk!! Thats you 1tc!!
Brian would just shake his head!

soonerbrat

1/20/2007, 11:02 AM

It's better to get ****-blocked than the clap.

With a pickup line like that he deserved teh clap

Mjcpr

1/20/2007, 11:06 AM

With a pickup line like that he deserved teh clap

I clapped when I read it.

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 12:41 PM

With a pickup line like that he deserved teh clap

If you're handing it out I'll take it.
;)

Sometimes I feel as inept as SicEm is and then when it seems like it's going to work someone else ruins it for me.

Rogue

1/20/2007, 12:43 PM

1TC, sounds like you were 10 feet tall and bulletproof...damn friends are kryptonite sometimes.

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 12:47 PM

I was feeling no pain last night. I'll have to give it the ole college try tonight. We're all going to a Stoney LaRue concert here in Ardmore.

Mjcpr

1/20/2007, 12:48 PM

I was feeling no pain last night. I'll have to give it the ole college try tonight. We're all going to a Stoney LaRue concert here in Ardmore.

And the bartender?

Scott D

1/20/2007, 12:50 PM

hopefully she's got a good steam cleaner for her carpet.

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 12:53 PM

And the bartender?

yes, there was a bartender last night.

Mjcpr

1/20/2007, 12:55 PM

I was feeling no pain last night.

She probably wouldn't have been feeling anything either.

1stTimeCaller

1/20/2007, 12:59 PM

exactly. I did have a brick in my pocket just in case.

Scott D

1/20/2007, 01:03 PM

nah that condom in your wallet since high school will disintigrate when you open it.

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

1/20/2007, 02:43 PM

I keep hearing Funky Cold Medina now.

Chuck Bao

1/20/2007, 03:24 PM

You're around Ardmore, 1TC? Does Ardmore even have bars and female bartenders? You do have to share with pics, you know.

1/20/2007, 03:50 PM

Eh, don't sweat it. You would have just fumbled around long enough to find out she was a shemale anyway.

Scott D

1/20/2007, 04:18 PM

I keep hearing Funky Cold Medina now.

back in the saddle, looking for a little affection
I took a shot, I thought I'd test it in the Ardmore bar connection
I saw the bartender with the big ole hooters and tramp stamp and knew she was a winner
I talked her into going to her house for lovin' with some dinner
she had a few drinks, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting,
then my friends came up stole my cup and dragged me out the bar
As I weakly protested they threw me in the car
I said "wait, slow down fellas, not so fast, I know I'll be seein her",
that's why I found you don't play around with the funky cold medina

Sooner_Bob

1/20/2007, 05:52 PM

I'd find new friends.

Howzit

1/20/2007, 05:59 PM

I'm telling Bonnie.

Howzit

1/20/2007, 06:00 PM

[rolls over]

Hey, Bonnie, guess what...

Sooner_Bob

1/20/2007, 06:13 PM

[Bonnie says laughingly]

Who are you?

sanantoniosooner

1/20/2007, 06:14 PM

This thread is worthless without pics [/obligatory]
Why would you want a pic of his ****?

Jerk

1/20/2007, 06:22 PM

I would have told your friends to bugger off.

tulsaoilerfan

1/20/2007, 07:17 PM

If she was into it, why didn't you just go with her and let the friends go on? Methinks you didn't want it as bad as you thought you did.:pop:

Jerk

1/20/2007, 07:27 PM

Yeah. Friends versus poontang is an easy choice for me.

Forget the friends..I can find more.

Sooner24

1/21/2007, 12:01 AM

I live in Ardmore and my sister came home last night and said she had some putz all set up to steal his kidney and make 10 Gs but his stupid friends took off with him in tow.

1stTimeCaller

1/21/2007, 01:32 AM

I live in Ardmore and my sister came home last night and said she had some putz all set up to steal his kidney and make 10 Gs but his stupid friends took off with him in tow.

see people, my 5th sense was hard at work last night. good jorb 5th sense.

did she really call me a putz? :(

Sooner24

1/21/2007, 10:53 PM

see people, my 5th sense was hard at work last night. good jorb 5th sense.

did she really call me a putz? :(

Yes she did but she also said the guy looked so pathetic and she felt sorry enough for him she was going to have sex with him before she stole his kidney just out of pity.

Mongo

1/21/2007, 10:56 PM

So. did you get any **** tonight, or did you get **** blocked again?

1stTimeCaller

1/21/2007, 11:55 PM

I'm thinking of becoming a priest

SicEmBaylor

1/22/2007, 12:00 AM

I'm thinking of becoming a priest
I'm with you.

1stTimeCaller

1/22/2007, 12:07 AM

we can travel from Waco to Branson spreading the Gospel and getting no tail.

soonerboomer93

1/22/2007, 02:23 AM

we can travel from Waco to Branson spreading the Gospel and touching young boys.

fixed it

OUTromBoNado

1/22/2007, 02:30 AM

It's better to get ****-blocked than the clap.

"Wow! 'Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.'"

"Wow!"

AlbqSooner

1/22/2007, 07:39 AM

nice girls dont steal your kidneys.....
True, but sometimes nice girls will do things that you only see in porn.

Sorry Mama Mia, and bless the pygmies in New Guinea. :D

jk the sooner fan

1/22/2007, 07:49 AM

we can travel from Waco to Branson spreading the Gospel and getting no tail.

comedy gold there folks.........

sooner_born_1960

1/22/2007, 07:53 AM

Hearing, sight, taste, touch, smell. Which of these are your 5th sense? Or were you referring to that illusive 6th sense?

sanantoniosooner

1/22/2007, 08:05 AM

I'm thinking of becoming a priest

I'm with you.
I've never heard of this arrangement being made in advance.

OUDoc

1/22/2007, 09:16 AM

If she was into it, why didn't you just go with her and let the friends go on? Methinks you didn't want it as bad as you thought you did.:pop:
When I went to OU, a friend and I decided to go to Bricktown. At some bar that used to be a pool hall (it's now where the Varsity is/was), he hooked up with a girl and decided he wanted to go back to her house. He gave me his keys and I drove his Jeep back to Norman by myself. When I woke up the next day, he was already home. Apparently, he sobered up back at her place and changed his mind. When she went to the bathroom, he took off down the street to a convenience store and called a cab. I don't remember what it cost to go from OKC to Norman by cab, but it wasn't cheap.
So, see, 1TC isn't the only ball-less pansy out there. :)

OUinFLA

1/22/2007, 09:46 AM

When I went to OU, a friend and I decided to go to Bricktown. At some bar that used to be a pool hall (it's now where the Varsity is/was), he hooked up with a girl and decided he wanted to go back to her house. He gave me his keys and I drove his Jeep back to Norman by myself. When I woke up the next day, he was already home. Apparently, he sobered up back at her place and changed his mind. When she went to the bathroom, he took off down the street to a convenience store and called a cab. I don't remember what it cost to go from OKC to Norman by cab, but it wasn't cheap.
So, see, 1TC isn't the only ball-less pansy out there. :)

how do you know your "friend" wasn't 1tc just starting a trend?