View Full Version : Well, I have good news... I guess...
-I got a job, in addition to spending time at one of the junior highs helping with band classes, getting some observation hours for my "major". I'm also going to be giving private clarinet lessons. Then adding an additional job.
-I've been talking to band directors at other schools.
-Cut off the mohawk awhile back, letting my hair grow out so I can look more like a chick. AND I'm not dying it.
-I've been working out a lot, so I'm almost back down to my HS weight.
So WHY do I feel so lame? I feel like ive sold out on me, PLUS I feel like the little choices I HAVE made, school/career wise, are setting me on the WRONG path in life.
Can I just.... skip being 20 AND a girl. I dont like being whiney. :(
OUinFLA
1/15/2007, 12:19 AM
It could be worse,
you could "not know how to jump start your car"
olevetonahill
1/15/2007, 12:20 AM
baby girl . Its called GROWING up and smelling the coffee, Sorry but life kinda succs ,
Oh and Welcome to the real world ;)
Ive always had this notion in my head that life didn't have to suck unless you made it suck.
And why do parents have to be so persistent in getting their kids to pursue a career that the kid doesn't want?
OUinFLA
1/15/2007, 12:26 AM
Ive always had this notion in my head that life didn't have to suck unless you made it suck.
And why do parents have to be so persistent in getting their kids to pursue a career that the kid doesn't want?
It's their contribution to disputing your first statement.
yermom
1/15/2007, 12:27 AM
well, it is nice to actually be able to find a job that actually pays you once you get out of school ;)
i'll agree though, life does kinda suck
Compared directly to college life, real life does suck. However, with that suckage you get the ability to make your own "real" decisions. From now on, things become more and more up to you.
Where are you going to live, what kind of car are you going to drive, and whether or not you go home at all ;) are all up to you.
Paying a mortgage is a pain but you can offset that with a vacation.
I can't answer the question about your parents, but you should try to at least consider their input. My experience has shown me that parents generally do things that they think are in the best interest of their children. There are exceptions of course...
well, it is nice to actually be able to find a job that actually pays you once you get out of school ;)
Pfft. What do I look like? I'm white. I don't work unless I am paid my min wage, thanks. :D
yermom
1/15/2007, 12:35 AM
well, at least that is going up for you :)
Compared directly to college life, real life does suck. However, with that suckage you get the ability to make your own "real" decisions. From now on, things become more and more up to you.
Where are you going to live, what kind of car are you going to drive, and whether or not you go home at all ;) are all up to you.
Paying a mortgage is a pain but you can offset that with a vacation.
I can't answer the question about your parents, but you should try to at least consider their input. My experience has shown me that parents generally do things that they think are in the best interest of their children. There are exceptions of course...
I haven't been living in college life, no friends, no parties, no social activities, no classes, nothing. Stay home, help clean, look for a job, whatever. I have to get a job to pay my own bills. Which I have never had to do before. Which is fine. I dont mind getting out and doing what I need to do. But siting at home doing nothing, or not doing something to further my own life has me angry and upset. I've never been the kind of person to be happy about sitting around waiting for things to happen. I sleep away my days, and fill up my free time with sitting around, posting on here, doing CRAP, when I could be out doing something.
I have to do something. I don't have a car, I dont have any money, as of now and I have plans for things I need/want to do. It would be nice to have my days filled with things i need to get done so I can actually get out and do them. It would just be nice being able to pick a hobby and go with it, school wise. Like, so what if I am half-talented at something I USED to love? 11 years of clarinet and 5 1/2 of marching band, and I am burned out. I hate kids, I hate going to school. Wise of me, huh, to pick a profession that involves BOTH of those.[/rant]
olevetonahill
1/15/2007, 12:44 AM
Ive always had this notion in my head that life didn't have to suck unless you made it suck.
And why do parents have to be so persistent in getting their kids to pursue a career that the kid doesn't want?
Like I said " wake up and smell the coffee "
Now you need a dose of " notion Be gone "
Life for the most part is fun till your thru with school , then you go into the OH shat mode for about 30 to 40 yrs then it gets better :cool:
You can shorten that time frame By Never gettin hitched and Never having Kids .
I allways Encouraged My kids to Go to school , to be the Most they can be , They said " **** off Dip **** .
But hell Im still helping em when I have to ;)
Good luck
OklahomaTuba
1/15/2007, 12:48 AM
Ack, Music major???
You must like eating ramen and driving ****ty cars. ;)
Here is my advice, graduate with your degree, don't stop, then work your *** off finding ANYTHING you can that doesn't involve being employed by either a union or a government.
Very few people actually end up doing what they majored in. My OU roommate went and got his JD and passed the bar, only to get burned out on it in about a year and go back to delivering pizza.
Melo,
Finding the right career is something that can take a lifetime. Some people don't ever find it. The real world has a much slower clock than the one while you are in school. I remember a semester being a long time. In retrospect it isn't.
Plans take time to develop and you have to make them happen. Keep in mind that if you are doing something to get by, that doesn't mean you can't be doing something you love later on.
One of my best friends is a math genius (seriously, he would give Ike a run for his money :)). He is doing some work now that he hates, but he is making good money. His goal is to "retire" from his math work and become a middle-high school basketball coach.
Keep your head up and your eye open for what you really want. If you do, you will get it.
Melo, take it easy on yourself.
It's not that life after college is terribly sucky...just that college life often paints too rosy a picture of what the real world is like.
stay true to yourself, and you won't go wrong. sure, some parts can suck, but you gotta have those to appreciate the good times.
olevetonahill
1/15/2007, 12:52 AM
Ditto what Scout said ;)
One of my best friends is a math genius (seriously, he would give Ike a run for his money :)). He is doing some work now that he hates, but he is making good money. His goal is to "retire" from his math work and become a middle-high school basketball coach.
sounds like a guy I would get along with great...my dream is to retire from physics one day and become a high school baseball coach.
sounds like a guy I would get along with great...my dream is to retire from physics one day and become a high school baseball coach.
He received his undergrad from Penn in Mathematics. His graduate work was the same but had some really cool sounding name.
He was on their sweet 16 team btw. He played :04 seconds in the tourney :D
1stTimeCaller
1/15/2007, 12:57 AM
life rawks. Melo you just gotta kick it in the nuts. I've always had a pretty strong streak of FU running through my veins. My mom paid for the first semester of college and I made her proud by bringing home an F a C and a D. I didn't do that to **** her off it just happened. Well ole Momma 1TC wasn't happy so she told me that I had 3 months to figure out how I was going to pay for everything myself that she wasn't giving me any more $$ and that I should probably take a semester or two off to save up. F that, I loved college, I was going to stay.
I decided that I would show her, I somehow found a way to get er done. It wasn't always fun, it was rarely easy but by golly I did it my way.
If you take their money you have to take or at least politely listen to their advice.
Ack, Music major???
You must like eating ramen and driving ****ty cars. ;)
Here is my advice, graduate with your degree, don't stop, then work your *** off finding ANYTHING you can that doesn't involve being employed by either a union or a government.
Very few people actually end up doing what they majored in. My OU roommate went and got his JD and passed the bar, only to get burned out on it in about a year and go back to delivering pizza.
Try ramen and walking everywhere. I cant even afford a ****ty car.
life rawks. Melo you just gotta kick it in the nuts. I've always had a pretty strong streak of FU running through my veins. My mom paid for the first semester of college and I made her proud by bringing home an F a C and a D. I didn't do that to **** her off it just happened. Well ole Momma 1TC wasn't happy so she told me that I had 3 months to figure out how I was going to pay for everything myself that she wasn't giving me any more $$ and that I should probably take a semester or two off to save up. F that, I loved college, I was going to stay.
I decided that I would show her, I somehow found a way to get er done. It wasn't always fun, it was rarely easy but by golly I did it my way.
If you take their money you have to take or at least politely listen to their advice.
Yea, I understand that. Thats the thing, though. Mom and dad paid for one semester of college. Good ol Melo paid for the rest. Leaving me where I am today with $2 to my name. Yep, I paid for it, tried my hardest, and still didn't make anything happen. I cant commit myself if my heart isn't in it.
I haven't been living in college life, no friends, no parties, no social activities, no classes, nothing. Stay home, help clean, look for a job, whatever. I have to get a job to pay my own bills. Which I have never had to do before. Which is fine. I dont mind getting out and doing what I need to do. But siting at home doing nothing, or not doing something to further my own life has me angry and upset. I've never been the kind of person to be happy about sitting around waiting for things to happen. I sleep away my days, and fill up my free time with sitting around, posting on here, doing CRAP, when I could be out doing something.
I have to do something. I don't have a car, I dont have any money, as of now and I have plans for things I need/want to do. It would be nice to have my days filled with things i need to get done so I can actually get out and do them. It would just be nice being able to pick a hobby and go with it, school wise. Like, so what if I am half-talented at something I USED to love? 11 years of clarinet and 5 1/2 of marching band, and I am burned out. I hate kids, I hate going to school. Wise of me, huh, to pick a profession that involves BOTH of those.[/rant]
May I suggest being a gold digger? It sound like that would be right up your ally.
I am currently working this job so I can quit and go on to my next plan. Gotta start somewhere. I picked Criminal Justice cause I thought I wanted to be a famous prosecutor, but then I realized I loved smoking dope in college. The CJ profs knew I was stoned, yet passed every CJ class with at least a B. I graduated with a CJ degree and I am not using it a bit, but I have a college degree, which makes a big diff in the real world.
If you like math, biology, history, or ancient french poetry, follow it and see what happens.
May I suggest being a gold digger? It sound like that would be right up your ally.
I am currently working this job so I can quit and go on to my next plan. Gotta start somewhere. I picked Criminal Justice cause I thought I wanted to be a famous prosecutor, but then I realized I loved smoking dope in college. The CJ profs knew I was stoned, yet passed every CJ class with at least a B. I graduated with a CJ degree and I am not using it a bit, but I have a college degree, which makes a big diff in the real world.
If you like math, biology, history, or ancient french poetry, follow it and see what happens.
ACTUALLY, its funny that you mention that... a big ongoing joke with my family is how I want to marry a rich guy so I can spend my days drawing, writing, riding horses, playing my instrument (which I love when I am not FORCED to play it), whatever.
So basically... decide on something to like long enough to get me through college so I can get a degree, so that I can go out and do something different?
1stTimeCaller
1/15/2007, 01:12 AM
pretty much.
So basically... decide on something to like long enough to get me through college so I can get a degree, so that I can go out and do something different?
this is a time tested model. My pops used it to great success.
PhxSooner
1/15/2007, 01:14 AM
So basically... decide on something to like long enough to get me through college so I can get a degree, so that I can go out and do something different?
It's not that bad of an idea. Having a BA/BS will make things so much easier for you down the road. I started as a history major for two years, and ended up with an economics degree. I hadn't even considered something like that as a freshman or sophomore.
What kind of academic counseling was available at your school? I only ended up in econ on the advice of a dean in A&S.
60% of college graduates are working in fields outside of their degree.
olevetonahill
1/15/2007, 01:17 AM
ACTUALLY, its funny that you mention that... a big ongoing joke with my family is how I want to marry a rich guy so I can spend my days drawing, writing, riding horses, playing my instrument (which I love when I am not FORCED to play it), whatever.
So basically... decide on something to like long enough to get me through college so I can get a degree, so that I can go out and do something different?
NO
old shakespeare said it rite
" to thine own self be true "
Make your self happy hon
Take that 2 bucks and turn into 4 tomorrow, then make it 8 the next day etc. . Do you see where Im going with this ?
sooner_born_1960
1/15/2007, 01:19 AM
NO
old shakespeare said it rite
" to thine own self be true "
Make your self happy hon
Take that 2 bucks and turn into 4 tomorrow, then make it 8 the next day etc. . Do you see where Im going with this ?
16?
What kind of academic counseling was available at your school? I only ended up in econ on the advice of a dean in A&S.
I never figured it out. I went in to college knowing, without a doubt, what I wanted to do with my life. Now, being out, I know, without a doubt that I don't know what I want to do with my life. Except be a band director. Big 'X' next to that one.
So basically... decide on something to like long enough to get me through college so I can get a degree, so that I can go out and do something different?
Well, sort of. I love the "law". i had an appointment to West Point and was thinking of the JAG. I chose another school for athletic purposes. Still loving the "law", I decided on the CJ degree.
I still find the CJ system interesting, and I am always learning about it, that will never go away.
Many of my buddies got the standard "general studies" degree which is the same as three minors. They still have no idea of what they want to do.
Find a subject that interests you and will make you want to continually educate yourself outside the acedemic world. This may help you see what your life long quest is.
Good on you for making your own way through school. Yes, it is tough, and you will resent your parents for not giving you the easy way through school, but this will make you build great character and integrity. Get student loans and grants, that is why they are there, but continue your education for yourself.
Oh and most colleges dont offer Gold Diggerology as a major, it is considered an elective.
olevetonahill
1/15/2007, 01:21 AM
60% of college graduates are working in fields outside of their degree.
There is that
My degree was in Forestry . I wound up Making a fortune in construction . had I studied Finance or money management Id still have it :eek:
yermom
1/15/2007, 01:22 AM
It's not that bad of an idea. Having a BA/BS will make things so much easier for you down the road. I started as a history major for two years, and ended up with an economics degree. I hadn't even considered something like that as a freshman or sophomore.
What kind of academic counseling was available at your school? I only ended up in econ on the advice of a dean in A&S.
yep, even if you have some other marketable skill, it's easy to hit a plateau without a degree, any degree
trust me, i know ;)
1stTimeCaller
1/15/2007, 01:23 AM
NO
old shakespeare said it rite
" to thine own self be true "
Make your self happy hon
Take that 2 bucks and turn into 4 tomorrow, then make it 8 the next day etc. . Do you see where Im going with this ?
I don't see how you get to 69 using that numbering scheme but I learn something new every day.:D
NO
old shakespeare said it rite
" to thine own self be true "
Make your self happy hon
Take that 2 bucks and turn into 4 tomorrow, then make it 8 the next day etc. . Do you see where Im going with this ?
I love money, and I want money for the things I want to do. (And when I say things I want to do, I mean things like 'Taking my little brother to the movies', stuff like that. I don't mean it all for purely selfish reasons). BUT money isn't going to just appear. I have no problems with going to school. I like being in school, I like a schedule, responsibility. I like learning (unless its math). I just... want direction. And the only person who can give me direction is me. Plus, I'm scared to tell my parents what I really want to do with my life.
yermom
1/15/2007, 01:26 AM
I love money, and I want money for the things I want to do. (And when I say things I want to do, I mean things like 'Taking my little brother to the movies', stuff like that. I don't mean it all for purely selfish reasons). BUT money isn't going to just appear. I have no problems with going to school. I like being in school, I like a schedule, responsibility. I like learning (unless its math). I just... want direction. And the only person who can give me direction is me. Plus, I'm scared to tell my parents what I really want to do with my life.
i thought you didn't know, or did i miss something?
I don't see how you get to 69 using that numbering scheme but I learn something new every day.:D
69 is the change he gets from the 100 he gave for the tranny hooker he visits
i thought you didn't know, or did i miss something?
You didn't miss anything. I HAVEN'T known what I wanted to do with anything, until maybe about a week and a half ago.
yermom
1/15/2007, 01:30 AM
ok, now you maybe know?
you just know that you don't want to be a band director? and you don't know how to tell your parents?
ok, now you maybe know?
you just know that you don't want to be a band director? and you don't know how to tell your parents?
No, I know.
And yea, I really dont want to be a band director. More like, I just dont want to dissapoint anyone by choosing/not choosing/not doing what is expected.
yermom
1/15/2007, 01:34 AM
you don't want to tell us, do you?
PhxSooner
1/15/2007, 01:37 AM
I would hope that your parents would want you to be happy doing something you love. I would never want my kids to major in something they hated just to please me. I had a friend whose parents picked out her major for her, and she resented it through college. She eventually went back on her own dime and majored in something completely different.
I have this notion in my head that if I talk about it, and spread the idea around, people will talk me out of it, seeing as it is perhaps a more non-traditional kind of job.
yermom
1/15/2007, 01:40 AM
i don't think being a groupie for SoaD pays all that well
PhxSooner
1/15/2007, 01:40 AM
Pfft. I have an economics degree, which I used toward being a stay-at-home mom. No judging here.
soonerboomer93
1/15/2007, 01:42 AM
I can spend my days ... playing my instrument
1tc?
is this another of your trolls?
i don't think being a groupie for SoaD pays all that well
DAMMIT. NOW what am I going to do? :(
;)
soonerboomer93
1/15/2007, 01:48 AM
The problem is though, that you can't really worry about dissappointing others. When it comes down to it, you have to choose to follow what you want to do, otherwise you'll never be happy (trust me, I know from experience).
Would you rather risk dissappointing thems know, or risk dissappointing yourself everyday for the next 10 to 30 years until you finally wake up and realize that you should have been doing what you wanted to do all along?
The problem is though, that you can't really worry about dissappointing others. When it comes down to it, you have to choose to follow what you want to do, otherwise you'll never be happy (trust me, I know from experience).
Would you rather risk dissappointing thems know, or risk dissappointing yourself everyday for the next 10 to 30 years until you finally wake up and realize that you should have been doing what you wanted to do all along?
You paint a vivid picture. Still doesnt make the task easy, though.
1stTimeCaller
1/15/2007, 01:52 AM
you're starting to act like SicEm.
you're starting to act like SicEm.
Yea, but at least I am an actual girl, therefore, giving me an excuse for the way I act.
soonerboomer93
1/15/2007, 01:57 AM
You paint a vivid picture. Still doesnt make the task easy, though.
No, it doesn't and I know.
I went to OU for 2 years with the wrong major because I was busy doing what everyone expected me to be doing. Getting bad grades, being miserable and not connecting. I ended up switching but still wan't happy and never found what I wanted there.
soonerboomer93
1/15/2007, 01:58 AM
Yea, but at least I am an actual girl, therefore, giving me an excuse for the way I act.
oh, i think the board is convinced sic'em is a girl also
1stTimeCaller
1/15/2007, 02:04 AM
No, it doesn't and I know.
I went to OU for 2 years with the wrong major because I was busy doing what everyone expected me to be doing. Getting bad grades, being miserable and not connecting. I ended up switching but still wan't happy and never found what I wanted there.
too easy. I'm gonna let you off with a warning, buddy.
Tailwind
1/15/2007, 02:05 AM
Kid, life is never easy. Go with what YOU want to do and to hell with anyone else. Parents want what's best for their children, but often what they think is best isn't. Vet said it best..."to thine ownself be true." You don't need to be miserable . There is way too much misery in this world.
Frozen Sooner
1/15/2007, 02:07 AM
Pfft. I have an economics degree, which I used toward being a stay-at-home mom. No judging here.
So THAT's what my econ degree is good for. I wish someone had told me that before I started...
PhxSooner
1/15/2007, 02:10 AM
So THAT's what my econ degree is good for. I wish someone had told me that before I started...
:mad: :mad: :D
soonerboomer93
1/15/2007, 02:24 AM
too easy. I'm gonna let you off with a warning, buddy.
Ok, I thought I found what I wanted, but she didn't ended up working out either :D
Vaevictis
1/15/2007, 02:31 AM
Heh, welcome to getting hit by the reality stick:
1. Just because you love to do something doesn't mean you'll love doing it as a job.
2. A well paying job you can be contented doing is much easier to come by than a well paying job that you love doing.
Heh, welcome to getting hit by the reality stick:
1. Just because you love to do something doesn't mean you'll love doing it as a job.
2. A well paying job you can be contented doing is much easier to come by than a well paying job that you love doing.
3. A low paying job that you love doing is much easier to come by than a well paying job that you love doing.
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 07:09 AM
mongo - west pointers dont become JAG officers.....
BoogercountySooner
1/15/2007, 07:31 AM
Melo I just prayed for you sweety! I have confidence that you will make smart decisions over the next few years that will make you happy for the rest of your life. I look forward to watching. Thank you for sharing.:)
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 07:53 AM
my "philosophy" is to go where life takes you or take life where you want it to go....either of the two, depending on your personality
opportunities will come along as you grow....i rarely turn down an opportunity for growth or change
good luck!
mongo - west pointers dont become JAG officers.....
I know, they were talking about after grad work when If I became on officer. Thanks for pointing that out, it helped melo out a bunch
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 08:46 AM
oh jeez....as if threads have never been side jacked before
most west point officers go into combat fields, i wasnt "correcting you", just pointing something out
i'll refrain from responding to you anymore
Gandalf_The_Grey
1/15/2007, 09:10 AM
The thing that you have to remember Melo is that no one knows what they want to do usually. Take people like AD or Leinart, they could leave and make millions of dollars but one decided that money wasn't as important and the other is taking forever to decide. I am going to tell you what, let's say it brings you great joy to serve people their food. If you show up happy and eager to please, you are going to become irreplaceable because of your will to be successful. This is going to lead to new opportunities. They might make you head waitress after a few months. Then maybe the owner wants to open a new restaurant and he thinks you will be able to run it best. Before long you are saving money and someone comes along and wants to open a new restaurant and they want a partner, now you partially own a restaurant. Now I am not saying your dream is to be a waitress but passion or at least enjoyment of a job leads to better places. So no matter what you do....when you walk in that door, you be Melo and KNOW you are the best at what you do and you will succeed.
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 09:11 AM
be........alll that you can bee.......in the arrrrrrrrrrrrmeee
i think most people dont figure out what they want to do in life until they're between 27-30ish......so dont rush it, just enjoy the moment
royalfan5
1/15/2007, 09:30 AM
I have an undergrad degree in Political Science and Religion. I will likely never use either of those in a professional capacity. I was hell-bent on being a lawyer for being a long time, and then I got to law school and knew I had ****ed up. So I switched to an MBA in Agribusiness and haven't looked back since. I have always wanted to work in agriculture, but I was discouraged about prospects for careers in it when I was in high school. It turns out there was plenty of opportunity in the field. The moral of the story, is look for things that really engage you, and follow them from there. Odds are you will eventually come across something that fits you perfectly. Maybe it won't be a job but something else, but you won't find it if you don't look.
reevie
1/15/2007, 09:43 AM
60% of college graduates are working in fields outside of their degree.
That's me. OU gave me a Bachelors to teach secondary Social Studies and a Masters in education administration. Never had a full time teaching position and I work for the government making more than twice what I would be if I were in education.
ChickSoonerFan
1/15/2007, 09:56 AM
The situation you are in, is in itself, a life lesson. This is probably not the last time in your life you will feel "lost" and be at a point where you have to make a major life changing decision. What you do this time, will set the path for how you make decisions in the future.
You know what you want to do with your life? That is great and you are way ahead of most 20 year olds, most 30, 40 and 50 year olds too.
There is a lot of good advice here. And remember, YOU are the one who has to live with the results of the decisions you make, not anyone else, including your parents. They want you first and foremost to be happy. They may be concerned about you choices, but if you know what you want to do is going to make you happy (and it is safe and legal of course :) ) and you are successful at making it happen, I think they will be happy for you and proud that you followed your dream.
Someday, you will look back at this moment and be glad you were 20 and are a girl...and you may wish you were right back here with this opportunity to make such a decision.
reevie
1/15/2007, 10:02 AM
Melo -
I don't want to repeat it, but like everyone else...do what you want, be the person you want to be. Pursue your dreams. There's a lot of people here that have been through it. I say, let Melo be Melo!
LilSooner
1/15/2007, 10:02 AM
Just like everyone else has said it doesn't really matter what your undregraduate degree is. Hell I had a BA in Political Science and a minor in History, but I am now selling stuff to the operating room.
Don't sweat it too much you still have plenty of time to decide what you want to do.
dolemitesooner
1/15/2007, 10:07 AM
I haven't been living in college life, no friends, no parties, no social activities, no classes, nothing. Stay home, help clean, look for a job, whatever. I have to get a job to pay my own bills. Which I have never had to do before. Which is fine. I dont mind getting out and doing what I need to do. But siting at home doing nothing, or not doing something to further my own life has me angry and upset. I've never been the kind of person to be happy about sitting around waiting for things to happen. I sleep away my days, and fill up my free time with sitting around, posting on here, doing CRAP, when I could be out doing something.
I have to do something. I don't have a car, I dont have any money, as of now and I have plans for things I need/want to do. It would be nice to have my days filled with things i need to get done so I can actually get out and do them. It would just be nice being able to pick a hobby and go with it, school wise. Like, so what if I am half-talented at something I USED to love? 11 years of clarinet and 5 1/2 of marching band, and I am burned out. I hate kids, I hate going to school. Wise of me, huh, to pick a profession that involves BOTH of those.[/rant]
EQ2
LoyalFan
1/15/2007, 11:13 AM
DAMMIT. NOW what am I going to do? :(
;)
Kids say the darnedest things!
LF
Petro-Sooner
1/15/2007, 04:09 PM
i think most people dont figure out what they want to do in life until they're between 27-30ish......so dont rush it, just enjoy the moment
exactly!! I was a semester away from my geography degree but it dawned on me, what in the hell am I going to do with this? This is well after I changed majors a couple time. Told dad I wasnt happy and wanted to do geology. Which I totally love. He was like, you going to be somewhere, might as well be in school. I knew it was school or help dad roof or go to work at wal mart. I'm 30 and in 116 days will finally have two degrees.
I guess the moral or what not is that I agree with jk. It takes a while to finally decide. Dont be hard on yourself. It took me 27 years to decide.
Alright. I've been reading what everyone has written, and I thank all of you.
I think what I am going to aim for, is going back to school and giving the music thing one more try. I DID love it enough to stick with it ever since the 3rd grade. I think I at least owe it to myself, and my childhood, to give it one more shot, with a clean slate. I'm going to pick a new school, and I am going to take some art classes and writing classes, since I really enjoy both of those things. After a semester if I just REALLY cant see anything happening with music, I will move on to my plan B, which wont require much except dropping my music classes.
In all honesty, I'm not sure if I even want the music thing to work... but I dont think I should let one bad experience, (one horrible band director) be the deciding factor, either.
Now I just have to pick a school. I have three in mind already.
Thanks everyone who posted. I appreciate the kind words and understanding.
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 06:57 PM
no matter what, if you're able, finish school.....no matter what you get your degree in
Okla-homey
1/15/2007, 07:04 PM
Three points.
1) It could be worse...you could be dodging IED's in Anbar province like a lot of great kids your age.
2) Good to hear you're going more mainstream with your appearance. You are a pretty girl. The wacky hair dye and Vans are pretty lame and passe anyway. Also, good on you that you didn't get any tattoos you'll have to have removed ($$$) in order to get a decent job.
3) You are healthy and young. Look, not to freak you out or anything, but these college years are relatively the most happy and carefree days of your life. Don't sweat it. Be patient. You'll figure it out, it just takes time. In the meantime, enjoy being 20.
no matter what, if you're able, finish school.....no matter what you get your degree in
Well, I got that part. Just need an idea of what to get a degree in. If I dont want to do music, then I sure as hell am NOT going through all the bs of being a music major just to get a degree.
Okla-homey
1/15/2007, 07:09 PM
Well, I got that part. Just need an idea of what to get a degree in. If I dont want to do music, then I sure as hell am NOT going through all the bs of being a music major just to get a degree.
Majoring in music pretty much dooms you to teaching music for chump change -- plus, the other teachers will joke about you behind your back because they don't consider you a "real" teacher...WTF that means.
If that doesn't float your boat, study something that will pay you decently, so you can have the cash to do the stuff that turns you on on weekends. An awful lot of people have taken that route and they are very happy.
royalfan5
1/15/2007, 07:10 PM
Well, I got that part. Just need an idea of what to get a degree in. If I dont want to do music, then I sure as hell am NOT going through all the bs of being a music major just to get a degree.
If worse comes to worse, a lot of schools will allow you to basically make up a major if have enough credits and/or give you a degree in Liberal Arts or General Studies. Also most schools have a major that is a catch-all for people who just want to say they have a degree. It varies from school to school but is usually some sort of social science related field.
2) Good to hear you're going more mainstream with your appearance. You are a pretty girl. The wacky hair dye and Vans are pretty lame and passe anyway. Also, good on you that you didn't get any tattoos you'll have to have removed ($$$) in order to get a decent job.
No one would know what mainstream even was like if you didn't have people being weird. I prefer to think of it as me exploring my options and creative horizons, rather than limiting myself to such a 'mainstream' standard.
;)
If worse comes to worse, a lot of schools will allow you to basically make up a major if have enough credits and/or give you a degree in Liberal Arts or General Studies. Also most schools have a major that is a catch-all for people who just want to say they have a degree. It varies from school to school but is usually some sort of social science related field.
That makes sense. I'm going to keep that in mind.
jk the sooner fan
1/15/2007, 07:15 PM
yeah get all the basics out of the way, if that takes another year and a half, then you've grown just that much more and might have a better idea where you're headed
you're a smart girl with a good head on your shoulders (save the weird hair cuts) ;) you'll be fine
OUHOMER
1/15/2007, 08:39 PM
Look, just do what I did. blow off college, get married, move into a trailer house, work your *** off everyday of your life. Raise a couple of kids, wake up at 49 thinking what the hell happened. Thinking Ok i been at this job for 20 yrs and and i only have to do it for another 15 years. OH what JOY.
Now get off your butt, get into school. Thats the answer. The only answer
BoogercountySooner
1/15/2007, 10:44 PM
Amen Homer
TUSooner
1/16/2007, 12:21 PM
Lots of sensible advice here from people who have evidently "been there".
To recap:
1. Do what you love; love what you do.
2. Confusion is part of life; when confused, see #1.
3. Do NOT EVAR go to law school.
Personally, I think you should start a klezmer band.
YWIA
No one would know what mainstream even was like if you didn't have people being weird. I prefer to think of it as me exploring my options and creative horizons, rather than limiting myself to such a 'mainstream' standard.
;)
IMO, being weird is mainstream these days. So by taking the route you are now, you are on the cutting edge.
oh yeah, don't go to law school. :texan:
C&CDean
1/16/2007, 02:39 PM
Melo,
I'm gonna offer my advice here. I do believe you're asking for folks to do so, and this thread wouldn't be complete without a somewhat different opinion. So here goes:
1. If the "non-traditional" career field you're pining for involves tattoos or piercings, don't do it. I personally know a couple great guys who thought they were all cutting edge by dropping out and "being true to themselves" by doing tats. Today, they're 35-50 year old losers who are covered head to foot in tattoos, and don't have a pot to **** in or a window to throw it out of.
2. If you're broke, go to work. Unlike a lot of the folks on here who are of the "get a degree above all else" mindset, my opinion is that you should go out and work a while and then figure out what you wanna get your degree in. In all honesty, an 18-23 year old isn't really capable of knowing WTF they wanna be. I'm 49, and I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up until a few years ago.
3. Move. Get the hell out of there. You're smart, and seem to want to succeed. You're getting all drug down by the same old same old.
4. Be frank and honest with your parents. Just don't try and tell them "you just don't understand" or "you don't know how I feel" or "it's different now." Those words will get you nowhere with any adult. Why? Because every single adult out there was a 20 year old ditz at some point in their life.
5. They're trying to help you be successful, but at the same time they're not you. It's OK to be independent and want a different path for your life than the one your parents choose for you. Just be willing to put up with a lot of grief and a bunch of "where did we go wrong" stuff.
6. Personally, I chose the work now, go to school later route and it worked out good for me. I didn't get a B.S. until I was 39, and a Master's at 43. The one good thing about doing it that way is that I made good money, and got an education in something I'm interested in, my company paid every single dime, I didn't cost my parents or myself one penny, and I can honestly say I did it my way.
Good luck.
TUSooner
1/16/2007, 10:44 PM
Melo - Your PEEM dealie is full
Just sayin'
Melo - Your PEEM dealie is full
Just sayin'
Now it not. :)
soonerboomer93
1/17/2007, 12:51 AM
quick, everyone spam melos peem dealio
proud gonzo
1/17/2007, 02:10 AM
ok, let me start of by warning you I'm not going to have much sympathy for you here.
you pursued music from 3rd grade to now, dropped out of school to take a break, and now you're thinking of going back because more time will make you like it more?
You're going to have to work at it 5 times as much this time, and you're probably going to hate it even more. And it baffles me that classes just weren't for you, yet you want to teach band? I mean, I hope you realize that's like going to school for the rest of your life--only with getting there earlier, staying later, doing more paperwork, dealing with administrators and rules, AND students.
I went to a middle school over break and helped out the band director by working with the horn students. Know what happened while we were working in the hallway? A student set a shirt on fire in the boys' bathroom right next to us, which filled the hall with smoke and totally distracted the students, and after we each made a written statement for the police, I had to go down to the main office and make another statement for an officer and identify the kid, who was had overdosed on some yet-to-be-identified pill and was being treated by paramedics before they could handcuff him and haul him downtown.
so good luck with everything. make damn sure you have a second choice in mind.
ok, let me start of by warning you I'm not going to have much sympathy for you here.
you pursued music from 3rd grade to now, dropped out of school to take a break, and now you're thinking of going back because more time will make you like it more?
You're going to have to work at it 5 times as much this time, and you're probably going to hate it even more. And it baffles me that classes just weren't for you, yet you want to teach band? I mean, I hope you realize that's like going to school for the rest of your life--only with getting there earlier, staying later, doing more paperwork, dealing with administrators and rules, AND students.
I went to a middle school over break and helped out the band director by working with the horn students. Know what happened while we were working in the hallway? A student set a shirt on fire in the boys' bathroom right next to us, which filled the hall with smoke and totally distracted the students, and after we each made a written statement for the police, I had to go down to the main office and make another statement for an officer and identify the kid, who was had overdosed on some yet-to-be-identified pill and was being treated by paramedics before they could handcuff him and haul him downtown.
so good luck with everything. make damn sure you have a second choice in mind.
I left school, not BECAUSE of music, but because of the band program and directors. Maybe you can agree with me on this, but teachers should be teaching their students, giving them the tools they need to further their decisions and career choices. I'm at school, paying money, I want to feel like I am learning something. I DONT go to school to be the scape goat for every bad thing that goes wrong in a band program that wasnt even mine. I really want you to understand where I am coming from - I came from a pretty sucessful band program where I took an immense amount of joy and pride in accomplishing things, being a part of something, helping my peers, etc etc. Thats BAND, and thats why I wanted to continue doing it. I went to college as a drum major and ended up quitting the following year for the pure and simple fact that I dont want a title, I want a job. Dont set me up and make me look nice, not let me do anything, then blame me when things go wrong. And dont get me wrong, I never left in a storm, or said anything rude towards my directors. I just informed them that I really wanted to march again, and take time off from being on the podium. I come back the next year, fully intending to start out with a clean slate. I show up to every rehearsal, before the appointed time, I dont talk, I help when needed. So why was I getting yelled at 3-4 times a rehearsal? A reed breaks at practice, so on a break, I run to grab another one... and have my marching spot taken away. I was the only. Fuc*ing. Alternate. And, not that I really want to continue complaining, but I had a hard time following my private lessons. Okay, my bad... I could have practiced a couple more hours a day... but I wasnt motivated. I wasnt seeing improvement with what she was asking me to do, and she wasnt encouraging me, either. I never once heard a 'good job'. She could have lied to me, that would have been cool.
My point is, I had a bad experience, and I let it get to me. It really bothered me that those two people decided I wasnt worth their time or effort. What did I do wrong? I quit being a drum major for the director. A lot of politics are involved with that, but I'm sure youre not overly interested in hearing that. I used to love it, live for it... and now... the idea wears me out... I'm wary of jumping back in and putting my heart into it. I mean... once you get burned, its difficult to ever throw caution to the wind again. I have this hope, though, that maybe it was the situation, and having new directors and a new teacher who can encourage me and help me grow as a musician, will spark a renewed interest in me. But I'm rather pessimistic when it comes to my well-being, so my hopes for success are barely there.
As of now, I teach at one of the junior highs. I get to hang out with the 6th graders, and I'm doing lessons. So I am KIND of staying in touch with music, however, it is fairly removed.
I also understand the conditions that being a band director entails - I've grown up with one for a dad. I have pictures of me several months old at football games. Ive been doing this forever - staying late while he does lessons/paperwork/meetings/sectionals, etc. I notice the time he spends on creating his shows, talking the ideas over with his arranger, presenting ideas to his drill writer, considering new ways to make his rehearsals run more smoothly. Some days I go up and sit in his concert classes, so I can get an idea of how he goes about doing things. I've teched at schools and been on the higher end of my spectrum, and Ive had to do all the crappy work. I'll never understand, fully, what its like until I get there, but I think I have a pretty good idea. No matter how stupid and moronic I may seem to you, I am NOT stupid enough to just make a career decision based on a whim and go for it. I REFUSE to make a decision, go to school for it, and get bullied around. I REFUSE to be treated any less than how I deserve to be treated. If I am going to pay for an education, then thats what I demand. So I'm sure you can understand why I decided to pack up and go home. No one deserves to be treated like they are inferior and undeserving of basic respect.
proud gonzo
1/17/2007, 02:56 AM
I have this hope, though, that maybe it was the situation, and having new directors and a new teacher who can encourage me and help me grow as a musician, will spark a renewed interest in me. But I'm rather pessimistic when it comes to my well-being, so my hopes for success are barely there.
and you think that's enough to get by? Maybe at McDonald's, but not in college.
No matter how stupid and moronic I may seem to you, I am NOT stupid enough to just make a career decision based on a whim and go for it. I REFUSE to make a decision, go to school for it, and get bullied around. I REFUSE to be treated any less than how I deserve to be treated. If I am going to pay for an education, then thats what I demand. So I'm sure you can understand why I decided to pack up and go home.
no, I can understand why you would decide to pack up and go somewhere better, but I honestly can't understand why you would decide to pack up and go home. your words sound defiant, but you actions seem wishy-washy IMO.
No one deserves to be treated like they are inferior and undeserving of basic respect.edit: I'd better not stir up a sh*tstorm at 2 am.
and you think that's enough to get by? Maybe at McDonald's, but not in college.
no, I can understand why you would decide to pack up and go somewhere better, but I honestly can't understand why you would decide to pack up and go home. your words sound defiant, but you actions seem wishy-washy IMO.
edit: I'd better not stir up a sh*tstorm at 2 am.
I'm at home, only because it was too late to transfer. I've already stated that I have been busy looking at new schools. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Especially after the last issue, I don't want to just go to the first place that comes my way. I want to make sure I am going to be happy where I am.
Not everyone can be as gung ho about life, apparently, as you are, and there is more than one 'right' way to go about getting somewhere. Ill admit that I need a little bit of encouragement sometimes, especially from people that really matter. I'm in no way, yet, able to stand on my own and not have questions, and not make mistakes. I still need support, from somewhere. Being pessimistic and not hopeful doesn't doom me to working at McDonald's for the rest of my life. It holds me back, but Ive been working around it for a long time.
And please, save your sh*tstorms and pot-stirring what-not for something else. If I wanted to be bitched at, I would go talk to my parents. I dont come here to get morality lessons, I dont come here to be told I am stupid, I dont come here to be told I'm wishy-washy, I dont come here for any of that, especially from a girl who I dont know and have nothing in common with. What works for you doesnt mean it works for me. Like everyone else, I appreciate the time youre even taking to reply to me. Unbiased opinions and advice is something that I really feel helps me.
1stTimeCaller
1/17/2007, 03:17 AM
you and SicEm are meant for each other
you and SicEm are meant for each other
Ah, the joke that never dies...
dolemitesooner
1/17/2007, 03:23 AM
Ah, the joke that never dies...
Go to bed
1stTimeCaller
1/17/2007, 03:24 AM
seriously. two clueless souls, one knows it the other doesn't, just meandering through life, one with a smile, one with a frown.
proud gonzo
1/17/2007, 03:25 AM
And please, save your sh*tstorms and pot-stirring what-not for something else. If I wanted to be bitched at, I would go talk to my parents. I dont come here to get morality lessons, I dont come here to be told I am stupid, I dont come here to be told I'm wishy-washy, I dont come here for any of that, especially from a girl who I dont know and have nothing in common with. What works for you doesnt mean it works for me. Like everyone else, I appreciate the time youre even taking to reply to me. Unbiased opinions and advice is something that I really feel helps me.
the sh*tstorm I was avoiding wasn't dealing with you or your issue, but with an idea in general--i avoided it because it wouldn't contribute to your thread.
I'm not "bitching at you", but as you pointed out, there is more than one right way to do things. I'm merely pointing out that there's an opinion other than the "congratulations on taking time off" attitude that's so strongly represented here.
I didn't say you are stupid OR wishy-washy. I said your actions seemed wishy-washy in my opinion.
I agree you don't know me, but keep in mind I'm a 21 year old girl who pursued music from 2nd grade through 3 semesters as a music major before switching to journalism because music wasn't fun anymore. You probably have some things more in common with me than you do with some of the old geezers here ;) that being said, you're welcome.
dolemitesooner
1/17/2007, 03:26 AM
seriously. two clueless souls, one knows it the other doesn't, just meandering through life, one with a smile, one with a frown.
Dude do you have insomnia...your up at 2am talking about melo and sicem
1stTimeCaller
1/17/2007, 03:28 AM
Dude do you have insomnia...your up at 2am talking about melo and sicem
nah honeybuns, I work from 4pm to 4am. The daytimers on here love my new schedule.
dolemitesooner
1/17/2007, 03:30 AM
nah honeybuns, I work from 4pm to 4am. The daytimers on here love my new schedule.
LOL
Tailwind
1/17/2007, 03:38 AM
Honeybuns?
dolemitesooner
1/17/2007, 03:39 AM
YeAH **** STEP OFF bIOTCH what about it
1stTimeCaller
1/17/2007, 03:45 AM
you heard my MAN.
dolemitesooner
1/17/2007, 03:53 AM
LOL
Tailwind
1/17/2007, 05:36 AM
beyotch? I got your byotch right here!
jk the sooner fan
1/17/2007, 07:04 AM
here's my problem with young folks today.....at least some of them........."respect is earned"....period.....its not some entitlement or birthright
quit thinking everybody in the world owes you a damn thing, because you're not going to get it......you have to go out and earn that thru hard work and a solid reputation.....and even then, some people still wont give you the respect you think you deserve.......get over it
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