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View Full Version : What an interesting day...



Mongo
1/13/2007, 12:38 AM
Before I begin, todays events were started off yesterday by an innocent lunch break at a hamburger/BBQ joint in Shawnee, OK. I indulged in a hamburger with fries and a DP to drink. It was a tastey burger, yet on the ultra greasy side. I consumed the burger and part of the fries before I had to be out at my rig.

Now lets fast forward to 11 PM on the 11th. My lower GI tract is rumbling. Nothing to it I thought, I was anticipating a hilarious and nasty session of gas. It was true; hot, sulfuric gas poured out my *** every five minutes. I was making myself laugh, and wishing I had a poor SOB to share this experience with me. I hit the hay in my trailor around 1 AM the 12th.

I continue to ruffle the sheets with my gas. It was still funny, but the novelty had kinda wore off and I needed to quit waking myself up with these
farts.

At around 4 AM this morning, I woke myself up with a fart again. Then I had to ask myself, "Do farts have lumps?" I pat my *** and to my amazement, I ****ted the bed. I proceed to shower up and mop out my crack of any remaining poo matter.

I had to yank the sheets off the bed and flip the mattress and to continue my rest, and remember, I am now going commando. The rest of the day went fine until tonight.

Fast forwardto 9:30 PM tonight. I had to run to a different location to steal a part from another one of our trailors. It was only three miles away and it was a simple task. I show up at the vacant location and the trailor was not there. I quickly threw the wheel to make a 180 turn. The front end of my truck bottoms out into a muddy part.

I am stuck. No way I am budging my truck out of this jam. I reach for my cell phone to call my buddy the tool pusher to bail me out.

I had left my ****ing phone in my trailor that was three miles away.

My fat *** had to walk all the way back in twenty degree weather, while it was raining that freezing ****, ALL WITH NO ****ING UNDERWEAR ON.

I now have a nice fabric burn on my scrote from the rough inseam of my overalls. My testicles should be fine though, They went into hibernating after an quarter mile into my journey. I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.

picasso
1/13/2007, 12:45 AM
the irony is you coulda used those sulphur bombs when you were facing the blue norther.

1stTimeCaller
1/13/2007, 01:00 AM
I honestly have nothing to say right now. wait a minute, yes I do. I now know why they call you guys mud loggers.

Mongo
1/13/2007, 01:05 AM
The sad thing, is I wasted a perfectly good "Hot Carl" that you ordered from me the other day.

olevetonahill
1/13/2007, 01:06 AM
And you blamed it on DJ that time :eek:

SoonerTerry
1/13/2007, 01:11 AM
What we have here is a case of mud butt...

tbl
1/13/2007, 01:14 AM
Dude.... that cracked me up. I was wondering why there were 5 stars declared on this one and only a couple of replies. Fantastic!

Mixer!
1/13/2007, 01:58 AM
...and on a related note, Master Poo's Tae Kwon Do classes are cancelled this weekend.

soonerboomer93
1/13/2007, 02:07 AM
I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.


you got sic'em beat on that by years though

soonerboomer93
1/13/2007, 02:09 AM
Oh, and nothing makes my day like a good "I **** myself" story

yermom
1/13/2007, 03:18 AM
Oh, and nothing makes my day like a good "I **** myself" story

this has been a good week for you, huh?

Czar Soonerov
1/13/2007, 04:23 AM
...and on a related note, Master Poo's Tae Kwon Do classes are cancelled this weekend.I got my black belt there.




Before I begin, todays events were started off yesterday by an innocent lunch break at a hamburger/BBQ joint in Shawnee, OK. I indulged in a hamburger with fries and a DP to drink. It was a tastey burger, yet on the ultra greasy side. I consumed the burger and part of the fries before I had to be out at my rig.

Now lets fast forward to 11 PM on the 11th. My lower GI tract is rumbling. Nothing to it I thought, I was anticipating a hilarious and nasty session of gas. It was true; hot, sulfuric gas poured out my *** every five minutes. I was making myself laugh, and wishing I had a poor SOB to share this experience with me. I hit the hay in my trailor around 1 AM the 12th.

I continue to ruffle the sheets with my gas. It was still funny, but the novelty had kinda wore off and I needed to quit waking myself up with these
farts.

At around 4 AM this morning, I woke myself up with a fart again. Then I had to ask myself, "Do farts have lumps?" I pat my *** and to my amazement, I ****ted the bed. I proceed to shower up and mop out my crack of any remaining poo matter.

I had to yank the sheets off the bed and flip the mattress and to continue my rest, and remember, I am now going commando. The rest of the day went fine until tonight.

Fast forwardto 9:30 PM tonight. I had to run to a different location to steal a part from another one of our trailors. It was only three miles away and it was a simple task. I show up at the vacant location and the trailor was not there. I quickly threw the wheel to make a 180 turn. The front end of my truck bottoms out into a muddy part.

I am stuck. No way I am budging my truck out of this jam. I reach for my cell phone to call my buddy the tool pusher to bail me out.

I had left my ****ing phone in my trailor that was three miles away.

My fat *** had to walk all the way back in twenty degree weather, while it was raining that freezing ****, ALL WITH NO ****ING UNDERWEAR ON.

I now have a nice fabric burn on my scrote from the rough inseam of my overalls. My testicles should be fine though, They went into hibernating after an quarter mile into my journey. I dont anticipate their redrop until mid March.

This story rivals the Ryans steakhouse story.

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/rating/rating_5.gif

Mjcpr
1/13/2007, 11:01 AM
Is there anybody that keeps weirder hours than Czar?

Harry Beanbag
1/13/2007, 11:03 AM
This story rivals the Ryans steakhouse story.

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/rating/rating_5.gif


It definitely has the potential, needs more detail though.

crawfish
1/13/2007, 11:11 AM
Good point. PG needs to do a "writer's embellishment"...

Mjcpr
1/13/2007, 11:12 AM
It was a black and tarry night.....

yermom
1/13/2007, 11:15 AM
Is there anybody that keeps weirder hours than Czar?

i could probably challenge him for that one

Mongo
1/13/2007, 11:18 AM
It definitely has the potential, needs more detail though.

I thought I did a great job of giving details. Ask and I shall give more

ChickSoonerFan
1/13/2007, 12:00 PM
You know, I think the title of this thread is way misleading.

I don't find this interesting at all.

It's just plain NASTY!

Well told story? Yes.

Interesting? Not so much.

But thanks for sharing..I am sure someone found it interesting..

buncha sickos.

Oldnslo
1/13/2007, 12:09 PM
yeah, count on a chick to not find the humor in a "I **** myself" story.

SoonerSid
1/13/2007, 12:09 PM
The thing of it is, it doesn't get any better the older you get too. Your GI tract rumbling will now teach you to respect it.. lol

Czar Soonerov
1/13/2007, 01:00 PM
Is there anybody that keeps weirder hours than Czar?

My dog woke me up to go out. I had to go out with him cause it was so cold. The cold woke me up & I couldn't get back to sleep.

:cry:

OUAndy1807
1/13/2007, 01:08 PM
Billy Boy's strikes again.