Can You Sue Yourself for Being a Dumas?

[Viking Kitten]

Earlier this week, I was taking a photo at work, and I fell off the rolling chair I was standing on and landed on my tailbone/left wrist. I'm pretty sure something somewhere is fractured, but I'm not telling anybody at work about it because I'm just too embarrassed.

Then five minutes ago, I spilled a whole cup of piping hot green tea right into my lap.

I'm really not having a good week. Would somebody please send me one of those gay e-cards with the cute bears offering hugs and whatnot?

Or vicodin. I'd take that too.

[JohnnyMack]

I have some Lortab. And a Xanax somewhere I might be able to scrounge up.

[BigRedJed]

My god woman, you of all people can surely turn up an ambulance chaser to sue the bejeesus out of your employer. All of this happened at work, and it definitely sounds like there was some pain and suffering involved. Personal accountability? Pffft.

[TexasSooner01]

Sounds like you are having a week like I had last week.....:(

Tomorrow is Friday, It will all be over soon.

[Howzit]

Rub some dirt on it.

[RacerX]

My god woman, you of all people can surely turn up an ambulance chaser to sue the bejeesus out of your employer. All of this happened at work, and it definitely sounds like there was some pain and suffering involved. Personal accountability? Pffft.

Bingo. Did your employer ever have you sign a document stating that you understood that standing on a rolling chair is unsafe?

[Rhino]

Dumas, Texas?

[Fugue]

http://www.geocities.com/seinfeld_soundbites/jackie3.jpg

Do you know what a balm is?

[Osce0la]

Funny that this is the first thread I see after posting a thread about a possible lawsuit... :D

[Osce0la]

Did you have your shirt right side out though? This could be very important in the legal proceedings...

[Viking Kitten]

http://www.geocities.com/seinfeld_soundbites/jackie3.jpg

"They are real, and they are spectacular!"

[BoogercountySooner]

Did it look like this ?

http://www.absolutestockphoto.com/cpg148/albums/userpics/10007/normal_Absolute_7_6763.jpg

[picasso]

http://thedraftreview.com/history/drafted1991/images/richard-dumas.jpg

[Beef]

Why did you need to be standing on the chair to take a picture? Some hanky panky going on in another cube?

[Widescreen]

It's pronounced "Doo-maw".

[Mjcpr]

Rub some dirt on it.

Honey, is that a skidmark on your tailbone?

[colleyvillesooner]

You're like the Brent Rawls of SF.com

[Frozen Sooner]

That's a worker's comp claim if I ever saw one. No, you can't really sue your employer for that one unless they deny work comp. And no, you cannot sue yourself. ;)

[MamaMia]

MAY YOUR OUCHIES GET ALL BETTER :)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/nurse.jpg

[Viking Kitten]

And no, you cannot sue yourself. ;)

Dang it. I'd like to exploit my deep pockets.

You know, just once I'd like to say something on the SO that won't be taken and twisted into double entendre. Oh well. Who am I to spoil all the fun?

[Czar Soonerov]

No worries, I'll rub some salve on it when you get home.

[Viking Kitten]

MAY YOUR OUCHIES GET ALL BETTER :)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/nurse.jpg

Finally, someone who can follow simple directions.

[KABOOKIE]

Then five minutes ago, I spilled a whole cup of piping hot green tea right into my lap.

You need to sue Proctor-Silex or GE for making that cup of hot tea too hot.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Sounds like someone could use a shopping trip.





Sorry, Czar...

[Howzit]

I bet Czar sides with me on this.

[SoonerJack]

They have rolling chairs at an office! That is a recipe for danger right there.

TV guy: "Have you been injured on the job?"
VK: "yes"
TV guy: "then you may be eligible for a large cash settlement"
VK: "yesssssss"

You should start opening some off-shore bank accounts to hold all the newly acquired dough.

YWIA

[BigRedJed]

Sounds like someone could use a shopping trip...
...and a Guinness!

[Viking Kitten]

Suddenly this whole "poor little me" thing is working to my advantage. I rather like this.

[Sooner_Bob]

You should really be at home healing.

[blueyedsooner]

Dumas, Texas?


It is "Home of the Ding-dong Daddies"!!! ;)

[bri]

Earlier this week, I was taking a photo at work, and I fell off the rolling chair I was standing on and landed on my tailbone/left wrist. I'm pretty sure something somewhere is fractured, but I'm not telling anybody at work about it because I'm just too embarrassed.

Then five minutes ago, I spilled a whole cup of piping hot green tea right into my lap.


You suck at gravity.

[opksooner]

It doesn't make any difference that you initiated the incident.

It's the old "said employer could have known/should have known that dumas employée would use said rolling chair, hereinafter referred to as hazardous equipment, in a perfectly inappropriate manner."

Get 'em!

[opksooner]

....and I didn't even stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

[TexasLidig8r]

Dear VK's Employer.

This law firm has been retained by VK.

The applicable facts are that you knowingly, intentionally and maliciously caused a dangerous condition to exist on your business premises, to wit: supplying rolling chairs to women who have access to cameras. You knew, or should have known that said women would utilize said rolling chairs to obtain the much favoried, panoramic view of your premises. You also knew, or should have known, that women are vertically height challenged and as such, it was foreseeable that said rolling chairs would be utilize in such a manner.

Since you do not have worker's compensation insurance, you have waived any and all common law defenses such as assumption to the risk and/or contributory negligence. Therefore, my client can be a complete dumbarse for standing on the chair and was grossly and contributorily negligent, however, under well established caselaw, these facts are inadmissible!

My client does understand the inherent risks in any litigation and inasmuch as she desires to remain employed with your company, is ready to accept a settlement in the amount of $250,000.00 for her pain and suffering, loss of consortium with the fark master and understands the terms and conditions of this settlement must remain confidential. My take is a mere 60%.

We look forward to your payment by certified funds within five business days of litigation shall commence.

Very truly yours,

TexasLidig8r

[Widescreen]

is "loss of consortium" the same thing as "loss of marital companionship"?

[Frozen Sooner]

Dear VK's Employer.

This law firm has been retained by VK.

The applicable facts are that you knowingly, intentionally and maliciously caused a dangerous condition to exist on your business premises, to wit: supplying rolling chairs to women who have access to cameras. You knew, or should have known that said women would utilize said rolling chairs to obtain the much favoried, panoramic view of your premises. You also knew, or should have known, that women are vertically height challenged and as such, it was foreseeable that said rolling chairs would be utilize in such a manner.

Since you do not have worker's compensation insurance, you have waived any and all common law defenses such as assumption to the risk and/or contributory negligence. Therefore, my client can be a complete dumbarse for standing on the chair and was grossly and contributorily negligent, however, under well established caselaw, these facts are inadmissible!

My client does understand the inherent risks in any litigation and inasmuch as she desires to remain employed with your company, is ready to accept a settlement in the amount of $250,000.00 for her pain and suffering, loss of consortium with the fark master and understands the terms and conditions of this settlement must remain confidential. My take is a mere 60%.

We look forward to your payment by certified funds within five business days of litigation shall commence.

Very truly yours,

TexasLidig8r

Dang, forgot that Texas is a non-mandatory Work Comp state.

But don't forget to file for Czar's loss of service claim as well. Make sure to enter some bewbage shots into the evidence so that the jury can see what Czar's missing out on.

[BeetDigger]

Wait a minute, you were up on a chair. Were you wearing a skirt? I can't believe it's been two pages and no one has asked that.

[TexasLidig8r]

Wait a minute, you were up on a chair. Were you wearing a skirt? I can't believe it's been two pages and no one has asked that.

Yes.. well done.. AND thigh highs too.

[soonerboomer93]

Stick your tongue to it and see.

Of course, this is my advice to everyone for everything so don't listen to me.


I gotta go with this option personally

[Cam]

I've got a bunch of damn good percocet's left over if you want'em. Pop 3 of those bad boys and you'll be feeling damn good for at least 2-3 hours.

[Oldnslo]

I'd like to exploit my deep pockets.


Oh, I'll get into those deep pockets. I'll work the case up just right, reviewing each and every facet over and again. I'll take each issue in hand and argue back and forth and back and forth again. Then, just when you think I'm done, I'll go at it from the other side, to expose any weakness. I'll be in the library with my pen, deeply probing the issues to your satisfaction. I'll take the time to examine the pocket parts. You know the motion will bring the desired result and my briefs will be packed with stiff authority.

...now about my fee...

[Fugue]

a bit crude...... :D

[Tailwind]

But dang funny! :D

[Viking Kitten]

Oh, I'll get into those deep pockets. I'll work the case up just right, reviewing each and every facet over and again. I'll take each issue in hand and argue back and forth and back and forth again. Then, just when you think I'm done, I'll go at it from the other side, to expose any weakness. I'll be in the library with my pen, deeply probing the issues to your satisfaction. I'll take the time to examine the pocket parts. You know the motion will bring the desired result and my briefs will be packed with stiff authority.

...now about my fee...

Laughing hurts.

[BeetDigger]

I've got a bunch of damn good percocet's left over if you want'em. Pop 3 of those bad boys and you'll be feeling damn good for at least 2-3 hours.



Police - "How was she feeling last night"

Fletch - "She felt great to me"