Amazing Allysen!

[Viking Kitten]

So yesterday, I learned what it must be like to be a married man.

Santa brought Little Soonerovette a doll called Amazing Allysen. Allysen is a "large, interactive doll that utilizes voice recognition, sensory technology and articulated animatronics to offer endless hours of lifelike, nurturing play."

Well... that sounded AWESOME!

So we pop in Allysen's batteries and launch her start up program. Allysen first wants to know what is today's date.

Allysen: Is it the month of January? Say yes or no!

Me: No.

Allysen: Great! Is today the first day of January? Say yes or no!

Me: No.

Allysen: Great! It is the year 2007? Say yes or no!

Me: NO!

Allysen! Great! It's January First, 2007! Happy New Year Years!

Me: What the hell?

Allysen: Now I need to know your birthday! Is it in the month of January? Say yes or no!

Me: No.

Allysen: Great! Is your birthday the first day of January? Say yes or no!

Me: NO, DAMMIT!

Allysen: Great! Hey! Today's your birthday! Happy Birthday!

Little Soonerovette: But Mommy, it's not my birthday.

Me: I know honey. Let's play with Allysen later. Mommy's starting to feel a little frustrated. Let's see. the instructions say squeeze her right hand for 10 seconds to put her in "nap mode." [Squeezes Allysen's right hand]

Allysen: Oh! You want to play! Do you want to brush my hair? Say yes or no!

Me: NO! NO! NO! [Puts death grip on Allysen's right hand]

Allysen: Great! I love to have my hair brushed!

Little Soonerovette: Mommy, why won't she take a nap?

Me: [Fumbling for phillips head screwdriver to remove Allysen's battery cover and take out Allysen's batteries, even though directions explicitly sat not to do this]

Allysen: Let's be best friends!

Me: Arrrgghhhh! Shut up! [succeeds in removing batteries.]

http://cache.gifts.com/photos/A/G/B/2/AGB25WVHRR8JM5P9EJHK_L.jpg

So you know how they have those "practice babies" they give to high school kids so they can see how difficult having a baby is? I think they should market Allysen as a practice wife for dudes considering marriage. Allysen likes to talk, but she doesn't ever want to listen. :D

[StoopTroup]

LOL...

http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/criminal_mind/sexual_assault/alison_ripper_rapist/Chucky,-Child's-Play150.jpg

[ChickSoonerFan]

Very funny!!!! I had the same experience with the Little Mermaid Vanity Table.

Ariel: Would you like to do your hair with a brush, hairspray, scissors, or curling iron.

Me and/or my little E: Brush

Ariel: GREAT! the curling iron will put beautiful curls in your hair.



Same thing over and over. This voice recognition thing has a ways to go. We were all yelling at the vanity before the day was over. For some reason, we thought the louder we yelled, the more likely it was to hear us correctly. Looking back, I think that was not very effective.

[colleyvillesooner]

I wouldn't go to sleep near that doll. Just sayin.

[Widescreen]

That's a great story.

BEST FRIENDS TO THE END. HIDEY HO!

[achiro]

Hick accent to your "no"?????

[GottaHavePride]

This is SO not what I thought this thread would be about.

;)

[OUinFLA]

I wouldn't go to sleep near that doll. Just sayin.


yeah, like I believe that.
just because she doesnt have an air valve?

[Soonrboy]

The amazing Maddies says things like "way to go, groovy girl"..."I just love my artsy clogs"...Yeah, the battery case was busted pretty fast.

[frankensooner]

My oldest got that crap when she was little (5 or 6 years back). Now we know what to get our seven year old. She doesn't like dolls anyway. She is into crafts, which mean we will be vaccuming up glitter and spangles for the next three months.

[Viking Kitten]

I also want to take a moment to bitch about the little Chinese person who makes $1.50 a week to use packing tape and those wire twist ties to form an impenetrable seal around toys. Czar and I were up 'til 5 a.m. the night before Christmas just trying to get stuff out of the f***ing boxes.

[BigRedJed]

While your post and thread are funny, I am especially taken with your avatar. I don't believe I have ever identified with an avatar quite so much.

[soonerboomer93]

try telling it no in mandarin, that might work

:pop:

[GrapevineSooner]

That doll beats my daughter's pooping doll by a mile.

[Viking Kitten]

While your post and thread are funny, I am especially taken with your avatar. I don't believe I have ever identified with an avatar quite so much.

Well, I'm certainly glad you like it and claim to identify only with that. If you had complained that your Amazing Allysen doll never listens to you either, I'd be, frankly, a little concerned.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

So yesterday, I learned what it must be like to be a married man. [Fumbling for phillips head screwdriver...] I think they should market Allysen as a practice wife for dudes considering marriage.

You mean there's a way for us to un-screw you guys? I'm in! :D

[slickdawg]

I also want to take a moment to bitch about the little Chinese person who makes $1.50 a week to use packing tape and those wire twist ties to form an impenetrable seal around toys. Czar and I were up 'til 5 a.m. the night before Christmas just trying to get stuff out of the f***ing boxes.

Mother of God, that's the truth!

[olevetonahill]

yeah, like I believe that.
just because she doesnt have an air valve?
Are you sure you didnt get CV confused with Sicem ?

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

While your post and thread are funny, I am especially taken with your avatar. I don't believe I have ever identified with an avatar quite so much.I agree. Speaking of voice recognition toys, my 7 y/o niece got a password journal. When you press "access," the voice tells you to say the password which my niece set as her first name. So I say "Emily" and the journal says "Warning! Intruder!" When I said it again, it let me open the journal.